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How clear cut is your identity in their eyes?
Think about this: You are watching TV and a commercial comes on. There is an attractive woman in elegant lingerie, with large angel “wings” on her back. You know full well you are seeing a Victoria’s Secret commercial. That image is part of Victoria’s Secret’s identity. You’d be shocked if it was a Burger King or Subway commercial. You’d be shocked if it was a promo for an accounting firm. When you see the Victoria’s Secret name and logo, you don’t even think about it. You just “knew it” because the image belongs to the brand.
The same thing is true of you in your relationship to your kids, to your spouse, your friends.
LEGEND POINT: As long as you appear to belong to them in the way they expect you to belong to them, everything will remain status quo.
When things change, they will not be comfortable no matter how much extra money there is for bills, travel, education and security.
When they become uncomfortable and life is not as familiar as it always has been, they will likely “rebel”.
None of it is “rational”. You are doing precisely what you want to be doing…what you should be doing. You are doing it well. And THAT is what can cause Identity Shifting and when that happens without plenty of advance warning and preparation, you now know what you can anticipate from others.
Without advance warning and preparation, they will be irritable, and at times even hostile. And it’s not going to change anytime soon.
If this project puts you at home, and now there are two or more people at home instead of one, that creates two possible scenarios.
1) Greater interdependence and greater connection between two people, with each helping the other achieve specific and general outcomes and goals.
2) The opposite effect: In place of helping is sabotaging, so things return to the status quo.
Recent research has shown that if two people have similar personal achievement goals, that one will likely sabotage the other consciously or nonconsciously.
We also know that if one person has personal goals that are in conflict with the other person, there will likely be sabotage at the nonconscious level.
And finally, if two people have complementary but interdependent goals, they could work together as a “team” and build a much better relationship and a successful business.
It’s important to know that this is all true whether or not both people are working ON and IN the business. One person could easily be at a pro-typical job and the other could be the entrepreneur, and you’d still experience the same possible upside or downside.
Is There a Way to Ensure That Synergy? … Continue…
