Never undervalue good intentions. Intentions, like desired outcomes are decisions you have consciously made either now or repeatedly before in the past. These intentions COULD drive you forward if you can align your thoughts and behaviors to make them real.
Intentions are at the heart of a human. (For better and worse) But, intentions rarely have anything to do with actual results for most people.
Recently I have gone back through journals I have kept on and off for years. What I discovered was that I found many resources in life that helped me push through the pain in life and I did not simply read a book and think, oh good I will adopt this philosophy.
I wrote down the lessons I learned in the books and WHAT I was going to do to APPLY THEM in my life, with my family and in my business.
Today, I find that those behaviors I would commit to, and the manifestation of practical application of ideas and thoughts was what created an internal environment to achieve.
As I talk with achievers and people who use their power wisely, you see similar results.
Write down specifically what you want and choose daily. Do not be a slave to your emotions.
The reason writing something down is so important is the skill of emotional intelligence is in large part about self monitoring. In other words, are your behaviors taking you to your intention, and if not what are you doing RIGHT NOW to change that fact.
Emotional Intelligence is a fundamental aspect of power. That self awareness is not simply RECOGNIZING you are in pain or currently failing at something. Again, that is something almost anyone can do. Self Awareness is recognizing your behaviors and thoughts and changing them when they fall out of alignment with your desired outcomes and intentions.
Without self awareness there is very little emotional intelligence to be found.
The father who leaves his wife and children never to support, nurture or love them is recognizing he is uncomfortable with his situation. The easiest solution is to leave and move far, far away. Is this not self awareness? Is this not mindfulness? Did Buddha not do the same thing?
The answer is that the father did not look at how his thoughts and behaviors were moving him toward his desired outcomes and intentions.
Recognizing you are in pain about something is a natural part of life for all animals, not just humans. Emotional intelligence is being able to navigate through the pain and put into effect the simple notion of self monitoring to be able to not only know what you are feeling but feel what others are feeling.
But it sounds so easy to check in with your Self several times daily to see how you are doing on the task of manifesting thoughts and behaviors INTO intentions and goals. But it is not easy at first.
I did feel terrible first because I had to use the restroom in a way you never forget, and, secondly the next speaker was scheduled to begin at 1:15 and the audience had kept asking for more.
Emotional intelligence requires practice. Without it you have someone who relies strictly on emotional impulse when experiencing pain.
A lot of people believe emotional intelligence is about being kind or calm. Certainly those are good things. Who does not want kind and calm in their life? I know I do. Intelligence is in part about behaving congruently with who you choose to be.
Are you the father? Or are you in this case, the mother who would not leave the father and the children because she self monitors. She develops the power to experience the same pain the father experiences but to then utilize emotional intelligence and her personal power to behave as she chooses instead of how she feels. Remember she feels pretty much the same as the father but she knows she wants to be a mother to her children, a wife to her husband. She locks it in and moves in that direction.
This does not mean that her high level of emotional intelligence will keep her kind and calm through the storm. Nothing of the sort. That emotional intelligence shows that you will be the master of pain. You cannot make the pain go away but you can choose to self monitor and move toward your conscious mind choices and away from your reptilian brains desire to flee.
This skill does not automatically then transfer to EVERY domain of life. She might be a good mother, a wonderful mother but she may have weaknesses elsewhere. She may smoke or drink to excess. We know from research that people who yield to a temptation are often (but not always) likely to follow that self indulgence to be followed up by a self disciplined behavior.
Is there an upside to self indulgence? Turn the page and find out.