Page 5
Closure that Influences
When people respond to gentle, non-judging, non-threatening communication, they open up and perceive you to be in agreement with who they are and what they think and feel.
You couldn’t accomplish that end state through “talking” or making a “presentation.”
There’s a time and a place for everything but questions that are not interrogative in nature are the most effective way to build the bridge between people.
Having shared personal revelations with you, they have disclosed what is most important to them. They have disclosed their soul to you and most people only disclose what is dear to them to those they love and trust. Disclosure breeds trust, love and respect.
The very act of caring enough about another person to the point of truly understanding them shows your acceptance and respect. If you accept a person’s values and respect those values you build a bridge and create a powerful bond that makes it very easy for anyone to listen to your ideas, thoughts and feelings.
People know that their values are very important to them. We live and die for those things and people we value. When you sincerely want to help people live to experience their highest values they tend to open up to you and bare their true soul to you more quickly than they would to anyone else.
Acceptance of someone is perceived as an act of unconditional love. Such empathy is sincerely appreciated.
People want to be comfortable.
Most people live in either personal or corporate environments that are either not conducive to loving communication or they are worse, often hostile and unkind. When people are in your presence we want them to feel at ease. This sometimes means we have to do those things we know that make people feel comfortable with that as our sole intention. Once someone trusts you, they appreciate you and enjoy talking about themselves and probably don’t get to do this as often as they would like.
At the end of the conversation there are lots of wrong ways to conclude. And there is a right way…
Closure in Communication: The Power of Good-bye
The ability to politely and effectively close a cycle of communication is a skill that more people need to become adept at. Closure is the ability to acknowledge the other person, say, “thank you” to the other person or confirm that what was said was understood.
Closure is the CRITICAL & final step in any segment or cycle of communication.
You have no doubt been on both ends of a communication that “didn’t end.”
Someone you cared about walked out of a room, hung up the phone, switched subjects in mid-conversation without explaining why, etc. When complete cycles of communication are not accomplished, it leaves the person with tremendous frustration and often anger.
You can always be certain to have closure in communication by acknowledging that you have heard and understood what a person has said to you.
It is not necessary to agree with someone if you are not prepared to. It is necessary to close each cycle of communication.
Think of a time when someone hung up the phone on you without saying “good-bye.” How did you feel?
Think of a time when you gave someone a gift and they did not express appreciation, gratitude or even a simple “thank you.” How did you feel?
Why do you think closure is important to you in communication?
What specific things can you do to be certain you close all of your cycles of communication with acknowledgment of some kind?
Growing in skill as a communicator helps you forge REAL relationships. Become fascinated by what others can share with you. Most people seem to try to be interesting when they should be interested. The truly authentic communicator is a curious soul.
She wants to know more about other people. She is truly fascinated by what other people can share with them. You may sincerely wonder how you could be interested in some people. If what interests them doesn’t interest you, then discover how they became interested in what they are interested in. In other words, if you don’t like fishing and someone you’re communicating with does, find out how they became so excited about fishing.
What experiences do they have that started this fascination?
By making others feel special, they will realize how unusual you are. As you communicate with empathy, think about this… Do You Enjoy Being with People Who Want You to Change for Them?
It would appear that there must be an elegance to influence. And that is correct.