Kevin Hogan

International Speaker

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Power Get It, Use It – Part 1 of 7

Why is that people would prefer you remain powerless?

Power, the ability to get what you choose in life, is something that scares most people.

Powerful people, are not the norm. Most people might have strength in one domain (ex. appearance of their body) but not others (personal finances, ability to generate income, ability to influence, being a good parent, being a good friend).

It is a fact that people either admire or criticize those with power, not so much because of something the person with power does but the fact that the observer cannot.

Power begins inside of you.

Then it emanates out toward others.

This week you find out what is within you and why it is that you do or do not have certain degrees of power in different domains. You’ll also get some tips on increasing power and discover ways to eliminate power drains.

Power is the ability to use your thoughts and behaviors to achieve your chosen outcomes and intentions.

Power scares people

Today you get new ideas that you have not heard or read before, so take your time and enjoy the ride.

Your power begins with your learned ability to tap your self discipline and self control skills so you accomplish what you set out to do and manifest what you think. The ultimate measure of your power is the actual completion of that which you choose.

You will be surprised to learn that your power can be impacted positively or negatively by what or who is in your environment as you attempt to move toward the results you desire. In humans the ultimate measure of power is the completion or acquisition of that which you desire or choose.

Power overlaps Influence and Emotional Intelligence but the three are not identical.

The powerful person, she who self regulates effectively, knows her intention and outcomes. Then she uses her thoughts and behaviors to manifest those intentions and goals.

Power is not something you can use to command others to do your bidding. Power as we discuss it today is the engine, the CPU, the energy you have to do what you choose instead of the default behaviors that would occur among the vast majority of others in the same situation.

There are a few ways to measure power. One first measure is Self Regulation Units.

Self Regulation Units are your Units of Power that you have to tap in the course of the day. So long as you have these units you will do what you choose over what your body directs you to do. (You choose the low calorie drink over the high calorie drink.)

I have shown you in the past that as you exercise self control (similar to self regulation) you expend energy. And you have a LIMITED supply of power that for the most part regenerates at the beginning of each day and to a lesser degree, often after meals or snacks.

Exercising self control is rewarding as it (you) is what will determine whether you lose weight or not. It (you) determines your income. It determines everything you do that you have control over.

self regulation units What I have not shared with you before is that in any moment of the day you can easily trip a circuit breaker in the brain by tapping more self regulation units than can be used in one moment. That means that if there are enough other people in the room breaking their diet with food that you like and you are receiving encouragement to go for it and there are images of attractive people eating that specific food, nearby you may not have developed the capacity to handle that level of power needed to ward off all of the desires and influences of the moment. You break down and succumb.

Ready for the code?

Power can be built up over time so you can handle more strains on your power reserves in any moment and say -no- to that which you know will move you away from your desired outcomes and -yes- to what you would like to do.

Caveat: Self control will help you with relationships of all kinds but it (you) cannot guarantee all of your desired outcomes in those relationships. Your level of power (SRU) is not the same level of power (SRU) that your counterpart has access to. That means that they might blow a circuit and instead of control their actions and thoughts, they could easily be far more triggered than you are in any given situation.

Your own ability to regulate your Self is one thing. Being aware of and shaping the feelings of others is a more advanced skill of Emotional Intelligence.

Unfortunately you are not able to share your power with others though you CAN create environmental factors to lessen the drain of the power on another person.

You can however, almost be assured of outcomes where you control the result, like income production and weight loss.

Power is the energy and force of success and achievement.

When you are on your way to your first $1,000,000, you will use power (self regulation) to perform specific actions and think specific thoughts that will generate income.

For me this meant that I did not take phone calls thus avoiding the stress of dealing with distractions and I moved away from all influences that would require me to behave appropriately (requiring self discipline). Behaving correctly in any given context requires a lot of power (self regulation) and can easily trip the circuit in any given moment.

The more power draining outcomes you are juggling in any one moment, the more likely you are to blow a fuse and walk away from everything. Thus putting a bowl of chocolates on your coffee table is begging you to fail at EVERYTHING you attempt to do that day.

Just resisting your favorite snack drains you of power.

Self awareness is very important because without it, self regulation can and will exhaust you. As you push the limits of your power in the moment or over the course of the day, you typically begin to increase your power level. If you do the same thing day after day, you get no increase in your self regulation units available to you.

Emotions body language anger This person is more likely to blow a fuse when additional projects, tasks, outcomes are attempted. They simply do not have the SRUs for it. That means when they hit overload they no longer behave in a controlled, outcome oriented manner. It could mean that they will shout, walk away, slam a door, release an emotion in some way or succumb to a temptation like snacks, alcohol, smoking, swearing at you, etc.

This is why people who generate new things often become wealthy while everyone else remains behind. You have to know what you are thinking and what you CHOOSE TO think about. You can not have non-critical outcome oriented stresses running through your mind and body all day or you burn self regulation units too quickly.

This all makes it sound better if you don’t have self control and self regulation, at least in some cases, doesn’t it?

Here’s the truth and what to do to know how to do the right thing for YOU. Continue…

You have to know HOW to behave in different contexts so when you are in that context you are already prepared and in the moment are not trying to figure out what the right thing to do is.

You must first be aware of your screwed up default behaviors (smoking, overeating, not working on the new project) and know what your thoughts and sabotaging (self and others) actions are.

In rare cases people are already doing some things right in harnessing the power of self control. Almost everyone else is not taking control of their thinking. Why?

The disciplined Self generates desired results, typically across contexts.

The undisciplined Self does not.

In order to improve your odds today of getting what you want and not what your body craves in the moment, you can note the following experiences that sap you of self control.

There are more than a half dozen ways your power can be drained rendering yourself impotent in acquiring anything of significance.

1. Intentional Thinking is tiring so save it for your desired outcomes and allow someone else handle the day to day aspects of life so you can produce enough for 3, 4, 5 people.

At the beginning of each day the powerful person (the person who has over time, exercised significant self control and has built up mental muscle) starts off with more Self Regulation Units than does the person who lives life in a stimulus/response world.

The person who deals with the fine print and answers the phone is VERY IMPORTANT to company/family/business success because without them you would have to do both and very few people can handle dealing with life stresses and business stresses along with contextual issues (temptations) all at the same time.

You face a number of success destroyers in the course of the day and they may seemingly have nothing to do with being successful.

If you see someone who is significantly overweight, she might be saying -no- to all kinds of different foods and she might be doing better on a percentage basis than they guy who is thin and trim.

But the reason she might be overweight is that there are tons of food triggers (recipe books, other overweight people, for example) and stresses in her environment.

All kinds of triggers cause your self regulation units to be used up.

Put a dish of your favorite candy on the table in front of you and by the end of the day you are likely to have used up a lot of Self Regulation Units IF you have NOT succumbed to the candy. BUT if you were able to say NO to the candy all day long, it means you used up a lot of self regulation units during the day.

Now when it comes to needing self control at night, you will probably be out of luck. That self control could be related to dieting. But it also could be related, for example, to spending money on all kinds of other pleasures.

Giving in means you are not using up SRUs. Saying NO means you are using up your self control points for the day.

But each day as you say no to environmental triggers like a dish of candy or commercials on line or on TV, you DO BUILD mental muscle yielding more SRUs for the following week or month.

THIS is why successful people are successful at what they do. People who take control of their own brain and say no to what is counter productive in life become stronger and more capable of choosing what they want in life.

The person who goes for the cigarette and smokes it, meanwhile, uses up no self regulation units. That means TODAY the person will have more SRUs to deal with difficult situations later into the night. Of course it also means they are more likely to have cancer.

Impulses to indulge make up a huge percentage of the challenges you face each day when it comes to self control.

You WIN by removing triggers from your office or kitchen. Put food in the fridge or the pantry. Do not put tasty delights out on the counter. Those tasty treats, cook books, food setting in brightly lit areas and big plates are a good way to create overweight people.

2. Moody Blue

resisting desires You probably have not thought about it much but people in negative moods whether sad, depressed, antagonistic, hurt, grieving are all more likely to crave their favorite pleasures. For some this might be wine, cigarettes, video games, shopping or Netflix; for example.

Bad moods reduce self regulation units to minimal amounts. It is very easy to blow a fuse when you are in a negative mood.

Giving into the pleasures does not use up units but it does not matter because there remain so few units that dealing with anything requiring self control, is almost certain to fail.

People in negative moods are far more likely to spend more money on the same item they would have refused when in a good mood. They also spend more money overall. And they tend to procrastinate. People in negative moods tend to make worse decisions than those in positive moods.

The first lesson here of course is to not make important decisions when you are upset, hurt or down.

The second lesson is to keep distractions at a distance when you are in a negative mood so you can focus on what you choose instead of mindlessly follow your cravings.

Part 2: Power for Anything You Want in Life

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Author of The Psychology of Persuasion, Irresistible Attraction, and The Science of Influence, Dr. Kevin Hogan is trusted by organizations, both large and small, to help them help their people reach their personal peak performance and maximize influence in selling and marketing. Kevin is an internationally admired keynote speaker and corporate thought leader. In Coffee with Kevin Hogan, he shares his research, observations, and how you can apply them in your life – both in business and at home.

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