Q. Kev, I saw you present, The Kevin Hogan Sales Success System in Warsaw. I was in your private training after the presentation as well. I learned so much. Will you be back soon? What will be coming out in 2019? You told me you’d consider producing the KHSSS on video in November. What’s the status on that? I’d like to get it.
A. I’m thinking about coming back in 2019. No promises. We’ll see. I guess the biggest changes for 2019 are in Inner Circle format and the brand new Body Language Licensee Program, I completely redesigned and re-recorded this autumn. I’m working on a piece of fiction right now that I’m pretty happy with so far. I did experience some delays starting in September. There was a death in the family that I was pretty much in charge of dealing with and I put quite a bit of attention into a… colleagues project, in Europe that launched in early November. (I discovered I do have a limit on what I can do in a year.)
Q. Kevin, you often say and write “effective in business, effective in relationships.” (or vice versa) How do I apply attraction in business, time management in relationships, and in general your work across the boards? What are the exceptions to “it works in business and personal relationships?”
A. Max, one of the most frequent questions I get. Last week we talked about attraction. It matters in business. Attractive people hold the attention of the other person longer than unattractive people. (Women in particular hire and promote attractive women in business.) Being your physical best you can pay off. It won’t be charisma, identity or a lot of other things but all things being equal, you want to look good.
Then you mention time management. Look how much time you put into social media being social online. And you’re good at it. Then look at time management in business. If you don’t work from a solid calendar you are dead in business. But then people neglect time in their relationship. The very same discussions you have about business must happen in relationships. A once a week talk on Friday evening after dinner is a great time to talk about what’s working, what’s not, what can change and then isolate 2 or 3 things to create habits around this week. It IS just like business. Time management is about calendar, planning, prioritization, strategy for future.
Planning the relationship the same way will bring similar results. The best work I’ve seen on the what to do is from John Gottman. Nobody sharper on the planet.
Exceptions. People have asked why I strongly encourage roles in a relationship. The reason is they work. I like to do the dishes. Live longer and don’t ask me to cook. Roles are not an exception. But there are exceptions. When you are clearly superior to your partner, it’s important to talk about these areas of weakness and excellence in your weekly planning (as well as yearly and monthly). Sometimes the person who is doing X wants to learn Y and they need to be given that opportunity. In business you try to keep your best person at each position. You have more fluidity in a relationship which means it’s a lot easier to screw up a relationship…
Q. Kev, in Warsaw, you said, “watch your partners Facebook feed. When your face disappears so does your partner.” I didn’t really understand what you meant. A lot of people looked very surprised but, it could be that my English is no good.
A. Your English is fine. I remember you! 😉 The research is simple. If there are lots of pictures of you and your husband or boyfriend, the relationship will predictably be long running, until the frequency reduces. Once the number of images reduces your relationship is in serious trouble.
There are apps you can use to mirror the Facebook experience and calculate how long your relationship will last. (I haven’t tested them.) Gottman’s 7 keys pretty much tell you all you need to know about longevity. If you put effort, time and brand your relationship, it’s hard to go wrong. Facebook is currently one of the top three “causes” of divorce cited in the U.S. I suspect it will catch up there soon.
Q. Hey Kevin, what’s the best place in the market for my money in 2019?
A. Your pocket (in a pair of jeans you don’t wear in your closet.). 2019 is looking to be a very interesting year. Feels like the news is moving the market with each drama up and down. You are seeing 2% up or down days when in 2017 there were none. I love volatility for trading. But investing in your future is something you do 20 times during the year. Buy on random days and dollar cost average into any investments. You really could see 30,000 in March and 20,000 in July. There are some favorable trends and unfavorable valuations.
Ultimately this might be a great year to focus on your coffee table business and not corporate America for your future revenue. Perhaps keep 25% of your net worth in the stock market. That math means when the market drops 30% your net worth drops 8%. It will not be a dull year… use stop losses.
Q. Kev, what program are the 60 Laws of Persuasion listed in?
A. They are listed in an upcoming release for the end of 2019. I did share them with one group in Europe this year. You’ll see several in articles in Coffee this year.
Q. Kev, you’ve got about 25 hypnotic language patterns on You Tube. You indicated in one video that those 25 were the best of what there is. Is there anything else out there?
A. There is. But don’t expect every HLP to be gold. Sometimes you have to enjoy silver (60% effectiveness vs. 80%). We’ll fire up the Kevin Hogan Channel at some point this year. Keep watching.
Q. Kev, who are you betting on to win the Super Bowl?
A. I haven’t made that play yet. The most likely pairing is New Orleans vs. Kansas City. I’d play K.C. if we get to that match up. The line would likely open at Saints – 2 but with the game being played in Pittsburgh, the track and field edge goes to K.C. I would take those 2 points.
Q. Can I use your articles in my new book?
A. You need to get written permission from me with specifically what you want to quote. If you want to reproduce an entire article, it’s possible I guess, but you’ll have to tell me why I’m excited about such an action.
Q. Dr. Hogan, In your presentation you said you weren’t so concerned someone’s honesty as you were integrity and loyalty in the people “I care about and work with.” You got cut off by the end of the day but a number of us talked about this at dinner that night. Can you finish our conversation!
A. Sure, and by the way, this was off the record. 🙂 And I’m not sure the quote is quite correct, perhaps a translation error, but I know a dozen people heard this answer to a question which was something like, “Is honesty the most important quality to you in someone?”
And the answer is- no. The most important quality in someone I care about or love, do business with, is loyalty. Loyalty predicts integrity which is significantly different from honesty. Honesty implies you are going to tell the truth. Humans are deceptive by nature. (I wore make up that day for example because I hadn’t slept in over 36 hours and I looked beat up! That’s deceptive.) But loyalty means that when I’m gone, you pave the way for me to safely arrive without wondering if I’m OK. The lights are working, the stage is set, the right person is in bed next to me, you spread positive gossip about people. Loyalty is unbeatable in people that matter. It’s the core reason that they matter.
Integrity follows right behind loyalty because integrity is really about predictability of behavior. For example, if I tell you that you will learn a lot at the event, you simply will. Integrity means that my actions will match my words with follow through… unless someone dies or a crisis happens and even then, the chances are, I’m predictable. I expect other people I care about and work with to be the same way.
And to answer the other question that we talked about at dinner; honesty as a principle is obviously valuable in relationships. But there are things that are actually a little more important. I wasn’t disrespecting the value of honesty. We’ll talk about this next month.