Warning: Parts of this article will be particularly painful to read and very politically incorrect…only problem….it is all …the facts…
Not too long ago, you were all fired up and eager to move ahead on your New Year Resolutions or whatever you called them.
You set your “Sixty Days to Success in 2008” or “Ninety Days to Gnarly Results” or something equally is cute or maybe, “2008 I will finally be great.”
The year of your breakthrough….
Oh, wait there is a result….
How do you feel about yourself upon brief analysis?
Like garbage. Embarrassed to your self, though maybe not to others…yet.
You’ve even tried to place or project the blame and responsibility from yourself to someone else.
You’d have been better off not setting goals because, frankly, this is the result you get most of the time…
You put a LOT of thought into your goals, got clear about the changes you wanted to make, you conceived a genius plan that would undoubtedly change your life forever, and waited for that magical date… January 1st to arrive…. After all, the holidays are no time to set goals…goals conflict with family and family comes first. (If you had that set of thoughts, you had guaranteed failure from square one.)
When the clock struck midnight on December 31st, it was full steam ahead! You were off to a great start and confidently began taking the steps you knew would lead you directly to the life of your dreams!
And then . . . maybe a couple of days later, maybe even a couple of weeks later, you began losing steam. At first it may have been small things, like bumping into a few minor obstacles or struggling to find time to work on your goals consistently; but before you knew it, you found yourself feeling unmotivated, tired, angry, frustrated . . . and finally wondered what you were thinking when you set these stupid goals, anyway.
You must have been out of your mind to think that you could achieve something so big – you’ve never been able to do it before, right?
And no one supported you in the first place when you told them….and instead of going out and proving them wrong, your nonconscious mind “figured out” the simplest way for you to go on living with the least amount of effort possible.
Two things before we go on.
Your nonconscious doesn’t “figure out” anything. It is like a computer preloaded with software. It either does or doesn’t do stuff based on what is already on the computer. If you have a neat photo album program but it doesn’t allow for photo editing and extensive touch ups, then you would have to buy a program like Photoshop, download, learn and then you would use it.
Because that doesn’t happen in your real life very often, your nonconscious requires very little “maintenance.” It just keeps on ticking as it is. It drives the bus that is your brain.
Second, “your goals.”
Don’t “have goals” that you are going to “work on.”
What is a goal SUPPOSED to be?
A goal is really what you want your life to be like or something you want in your life every day beginning (ideally) at some period of time.
You don’t work on “achieving goals,” instead you want to “work on” living July 17, 2008 in a specific location, office, with a certain person, with different lifestyle habits, and so forth.
I use July 17 because today is February 10.
You are creating your July 17 life TODAY (when you have a goal) just like at the end of the day today, you will have done certain things and not done others.
If you didn’t exercise today, you didn’t want to; you chose not to. It’s that simple.
If you want to assure yourself that you will exercise July 17, you need to have it be habitual long before you arrive at that date.
Between your conscious and nonconscious mind, unless you have truly decided to take control of your life, your nonconscious will invariably win all “choice wars.”
“Conscious choices” require new non-preloaded software that you must buy, learn to use, download, test, use daily, become proficient. Ugh. Much easier to just stick with what you have.
BACK TO BEFORE…STOP
Oh, don’t get me wrong, you got “busy for awhile.” You did “action steps” and even went to the gym, started a diet, all kinds of things that seemingly made it obvious that you were on your way to a “new life.”
Whether the above scenario describes your situation exactly or not, it stands as a common example of how easy it is to set goals, especially “seasonally planned goals” like New Year’s Resolutions.. and how difficult it can be to follow through and actually achieve them.
Most people I know that fail, do the following STUPID things.
6 Stupid Things People Do That Lead to Failure
1) They fail to set 1-3 year goals in enough vivid detail to wrap their mind around the goal.
KEYPOINT: Remember that a “goal” is really like watching a video of what things will be like. Then, after you have made the necessary life changes, you work on all of those changes through obstacles until the goal period arrives.
2) They set a 1-3 year goal that is so stupidly outrageous that they can’t wrap their mind around it.
Example: This year they earned $50,000 and they set a goal for next year for $1,000,000. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb…dumb, doobey doobey…dumb…..might as well “set a goal for winning the lottery.”
Your nonconscious laughs.
Think of ALL of your friends you talked to in the last year who believe in “The Secret”. I’m not talking about the millionaires who promote and sell “The Secret”, I’m talking about the normal human beings like you and me who earned less than $75,000 annually as of say, two years ago.
Did you notice how they all became wealthy, happy and healthy because they believed in “The Secret”?
Not with any of them.
Because they didn’t do ANYTHING we talked about that is necessary for changes to happen.
They rubbed their Magic Lamp and the Genie came out and said, “What are you, Stupid?”
3) They set all kinds of short term goals that were achievable that really meant nothing. (Put up a web site, call one hour of cold calling per day, go to gym daily. Eat healthy. Spend Saturday with kids and two hours per day with wife.)
If putting up a web site is a goal, you are 100% screwed. Putting up a web site is what you do before you go to bed tonight, not make it a “goal” for next week. Bluntly…do you set a goal to go the bathroom? That’s the equivalent of putting up a web site.
You HAVE to go to the bathroom and you MUST have a web site up.
Turn the page to discover more things that make goal setting fail.
More Stupid Ways to Make Sure Your Goal Setting Fails
4) You set a 20-year or life set of goals that is ridiculous. Reality check: You have NO clue what life will be like 20 years from now and can’t fathom what will be going on in life, so this ranks as one of the stupidest activities you can waste your time on.
5) You spend a half hour with your goals each day as if they were people. (You NEED to spend about 1 minute with your mid-term goals each day and then about two minutes on the core stuff that needs to get done THAT DAY and then go about doing them, until they are done.)
6) You spend hours writing down your values and beliefs. (Instead of spending two hours writing down what YOU WANT your values and beliefs to be INSTEAD of what HAS BEEN important to you up until now that has caused 100% abject failure.)
Yep, a total 100% waste of time.
What you believe today is, in part, what got you here today. This isn’t true for Ahmed in Ethiopia who wrote me and asked me why Americans don’t help stop genocide, rape and total starvation of innocent people in Ogaden and Somalia. What those people believe doesn’t make a diddle of difference.
You CAN’T UPRISE AGAINST HEALTHY PEOPLE WITH MACHINE GUNS when you are laying on the ground starved and withering away barely able to breathe the next breath.
(Friday, I promised Ahmed I would tell you about his people’s life.)
Back to those of us lucky enough to be able to do something for others, things that matter.. in the world…
Be comforted by one thing.
Here we are 40 days into 2008 and I promise you only 1/1000 people who were not used to “getting things done” are doing much of anything toward… anything they deemed important at the end of the year.
- Maybe the wife wasn’t supportive (who cares).
- Maybe the kids didn’t realize this was as much for them as anyone. (Too bad)
- Maybe you just couldn’t get past flat out laziness to bust butt an extra 4-10 hours per day in 2008 and instead set “just an hour a day to success” goals that could never have worked in the first place.
So what’s going on?
You know all of this…
You rebalanced your life, right – 100% out of balance and right on a disaster path into the teeth of the tornado.
Now those are the big reasons most people fail. But there are others.
It’s the beginning of the year.
You can STILL have July 17 be part of your new life now, if you demand that your conscious mind take control over your nonconscious mind.
You can STILL have what you want in life.
You can STILL be relevant in the world and help the people who need help in the world.
or…you can do the same thing you keep doing year after year, which is – giving in to the natural patterns of your life.
You’ve been awakened.
You’ve been given second life.
Go and make this a GREAT YEAR and a GREAT LIFE starting TODAY!
I’ve identified 12 of the life patterns which cause us to trip up – and make the same mistakes again and again. To discover which of the 12 patterns you have been the victim of and how to eliminate self-sabotage in your life (or those of your clients) you can pick up the CD program and workbook, LIFESTORMS: The Paradox of Overcoming Self Sabotage to Achieve Love, Power, Money and Happiness.
Lifestorms: 12 Obstacles to Achievement: The Paradox of Overcoming Self Sabotage to Achieve Love, Power, Money and Happiness.
Discover why life often brings you exactly what you don’t want…and how self sabotage can hide around every corner. Some people have guessed at the bizarre nature of self sabotage. Guess no more. Self sabotage is very real in everyone’s life. It is completely devastating and 100% resolvable!
- Do you ever know you should start on a project but don’t?
- Do you have projects that you have started but never finished?
- Do you ever say the one wrong thing at the wrong time?
- Have you ever had things going well in life only to have everything blow up in a day?
- Have you tried to be so careful not to make a mistake that you were shocked when you made a truly costly one?
- Have you ever promised yourself to stay out of trouble in some way only to find yourself in the same trouble or worse again?
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- How to identify which of the 12 negative life patterns you live.
- How to find the triggers of the lifestorms that you just can’t believe you experience.
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