Kevin Hogan

International Speaker

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How the Unconscious Mind Works, Why They Say No, 33rd Law of Persuasion

“No.” It’s the only thing that is more annoying to hear than “I’ll think about it.” You hear that knee jerk “no” because of the reaction emanating from their unconscious mind.

Obviously in both cases there is no intention for further decision making or even thought on the subject at hand. Therefore the time to act, on your part, is probably…now. Or maybe it was time to act five minutes earlier by precluding “no” in the first place….

Most of the time they (your client, customer, the girl) simply say “no.” They don’t mean anything by “no.”  “No,” simply means, “my unconscious mind doesn’t think, it reacts, and the reaction that keeps me in the status quo which is what I am familiar with says “no.”

It is a reaction.

It’s simply self protection.

The individual probably did hear the words you uttered but it really didn’t matter. It’s simply SURVIVAL instinct to say, “no.”

When the doctor tests your knee reflexes, you do not think, “OK, now, logically I can be reflexive and will swing my knee forward three inches in 1/3 of a second after it is gently struck.” It simply moves. It reacts.

It’s the physical equivalent of the braining triggering “no.”

Now, this doesn’t mean that all “no” responses are up for grabs. That simply isn’t the case. Many times your client has thoughtfully determined that your service isn’t right for them. (They might be wrong in this case and we can re-present information in such a way that “yes” might indeed be the correct response.) In these cases “no” means “no,” but the person could either be better or worse off because of the decision. You retain the option of turning “no,” into “yes.”

Finally, there are instances when “no” is simply the well thought-out and correct decision and, it’s not most common that it’s this cut and dry. It never makes sense to ask someone to do what isn’t in their best interests, so in these cases you don’t.

The unconscious mind doesn’t think or make decisions. By definition, it can’t and it never will. It has no capacity to come up with alternatives. The unconscious mind reacts in the way it immediately sees the environment and avoids the greatest fear and pain as it is instantly “evaluated.”

The unconscious mind is the dominant force in almost every human being’s life and, remember, the unconscious mind doesn’t even think! It’s been programmed through genes and through the environment.

In situations where you have made thousands of decisions (driving a car), the unconscious mind almost always reacts effectively to keep you and everyone else around you safe. In these cases, a person’s “intuition” tends to be good. Intuition simply means: your immediate reactions and how you feel about them. (NOT what you think about them.) In situations where you have much less experience making essentially all correct decisions, like driving a car, your reactions and feelings about your reactions are completely suspect and so are theirs.

Think of this:

people will pursue pleasure, pain avoidance

If every time someone got up in front of a group, they were applauded, they would feel comfortable in that situation and in all likelihood, seek it out in the future.

Or, if every time they were alone they felt devastated, they would likely seek out the company of others at all costs. The (unconscious) mind simply adapts to whatever it is given and the attempts to avoid fear and pain of things that it has been conditioned to avoid. As for the unknown, it’s unknown, and defaults to the answer that change of ANYTHING is rarely a better option than the status quo, unless that status quo is enormously painful.

The status quo is painful at the conscious level. Look in the mirror. If you see that extra layer or bucket of fat, the conscious mind is very much in pain. But the unconscious is not in pain until the individual is asked to CHANGE SOMETHING. The act of eating feeds the being and, until IT experiences pain and fear because of the eating, there is no need for the unconscious to adjust to anything. The unconscious mind doesn’t see the fat as painful or something to fear. There is no experience in that regard. Therefore the mind is set on “status quo” in this situation. It’s moving each person to do what it has done thousands of times in the past.  To overcome the unconscious in the status quo takes an enormous amount of conscious determination and internal pressure from commitments to others.

people will remain in the status quo

There are also times when “no” is a conscious decision that over-rides the unconscious desire of “yes.”

Everyone has experienced wanting to have just one more piece of pie but saying “no” because you know you are going to be bloated and uncomfortable later. Here the conscious mind in a rare act of waking up, takes over the autopilot.

You’ve had the situation where someone wanted to have sex with you and although the body was willing, the conscious mind said, “no.” You knew it was too risky or perhaps against your values. Perhaps you really wanted to talk about something instead.

The conscious mind can say “no” based upon rational thought in spite of the unconscious drives and desires to opt for “yes.” In these cases there is also a time and a place to turn the “no” into “yes,” and there are times when it is best to leave “no” at “no.”

The best way to get past “no” is to not hear it in the first place. You learn to address the unconscious mind and assist it in adapting a NEW status quo. The Persuasion Protocol is the only program I’ve developed that directly deals with the unconscious mind in persuasion situations. Remember your first objective in persuasion. What is it?

Your first objective is to reduce resistance and reactance that stem from the nonconscious mind!

In order to accomplish this you must win over the conscious and unconscious mind in a fairly quick fashion. (Usually not as easy as you would like to believe…) That means that your proposal must make “sense” and it must be in line with one of the fundamental desires or drivers of their behavior. This is NOT the same as emotions but emotional content you direct is obviously going to accelerate a “yes” response once the proposal is tracked into a fundamental driver.

(Reminder: There are 16 core drivers which you learned about in Covert Hypnosis: An Advanced Course in Unconscious Influence. They include the drives and desires of sex, food, connection, acquisition, learning, competition, altruism and others).

16 core desires

33rd Law of Persuasion: The Law of Driver Fit

If your proposal isn’t laid into one of the 16 drivers that is driving their life (for example, the desire to eat and to bond could be a driving force in one life while the desire to have sex and acquire could be drivers in another person), you’re simply going to hear, “I’ll think about it,” or “no,” 100% of the time.

Obviously this doesn’t mean, “OK, if you go out with me, I’ll give you lots of food and be a great person to bond with,” or “Now, if you buy a house from me you’ll get lots of sex and acquire lots of money.” In fact, people are often embarrassed by their core drivers. You don’t see people walking around saying, “And I’m proud that altruism and connection drive my behavior.”

Those desires that drive our behavior are pretty obvious to ourselves. (Ex. I have thousands of books in my library, so do you think that the desire to learn and acquire might be among my top four or five drivers?)

As is detailed in Covert Hypnosis: An Advanced Course in Unconscious Influence, there is an elegance to tracking your proposal into their core drivers.

KEY: You lay down a logical proposal, as THEY experience it,  that wires right into a key driver and you get, “yes.” You don’t have to hear “no” or “I’ll think about it” because you are triggering the deep drive to move in the direction of your proposal.

You don’t even always have to ask someone to do something in these cases, you simply tell them! I have a good friend who simply says, “This book is going to give you proven insights into human behavior that you’ve never pondered. Get it now, Kevin.” And I do. I trust the source (crucial piece) and it feeds into a driving force in my life that is rarely over-ridden by anything else.

If tranquility were one of my core drivers, then the same person would say, “This book is going to save you so much research time and reduce your stress levels like you wouldn’t believe. Get it.”

Granted, it takes a while to be able to identify a person’s driving desires. And it takes practice and feedback on your efforts of weaving messages into drivers to begin to understand just how powerful this is. Once you are able to do this, you have the world at your fingertips. You can have as much or little success as possible. Indeed, this is what power (empowerment for women) is all about.

Think about it.

If you just knew what your most powerful core drivers are and you knew how to weave messages to yourself what would THAT mean?

Then, consider just what happens when you can do the same with others. Then think how big your world gets and just how wide the sphere of your influence becomes.

Now you can use DIGITAL DOWNLOAD to get all of the techniques, strategies, and tactics of influence that you have been learning in the Science of Influence Library.

The library is created in a unique way, where you can start at any point and cycle through with no repetition, nor need to have knowledge of what happened in previous parts of the program.

And now it’s available on digital download. (Simply order and send a message indicating you’d like instant delivery instead of physical delivery.

Well, you are in for a treat, because have I got an influence treat for you! Science of Influence Part V focuses on the newest information available about reactance and resistance in persuasion.

How to Covertly Trigger the”Yes!” Impulse in Anyone: Advanced Compliance in The Persuasion Sequence

You’ll find cutting-edge research that you haven’t seen yet which shows that there are four specific manifestations of  what happens after you’ve bypassed reactance and resistance (unconscious instantaneous resistance).

  • Reactance
  • Scrutiny
  • Distrust
  • Inertia

You are going to learn how to utilize the other person’s resistance so that it works to the favor of the persuasion process. No one has ever talked about this before.

Obviously, that information alone would be enough to justify any “price.” But you know me…

Want more?

Did you know that putting reactance into a story reduces or eliminates the resistance? I’ll show you what the research says and how to do it. Raising unconscious resistance (reactance) can help eliminate (in part or whole). I’m going to show you how.

Discussing bogus information from sources that lack in credibility can raise your ability to influence or send resistance through the roof. I’ll show you how to avoid the train wreck and make it all work.

Want more?

Your wishes have come true. A number of devoted students and masters of influence asked me to give you my proven applications of the selling and persuasion techniques that you have learned about in the Science of Influence Library. These full length CD’s accomplish an outcome no one has ever been able to achieve. You will learn the absolute most cutting edge material in sales techniques, belief change and influence then learn how to apply them. Bonus? You’ll learn applications of the most powerful material from the prior 30 CD’s in the Library.

What can you learn that no one has shared with you before?

  • An integrated template that allows you to model a successful sales presentation utilizing techniques learned in the Science of Influence.
  • The absolute single most important factor in influence. Learn how to make it part of your personality…because it probably isn’t…yet!
  • Your counterpart needs to be in a very specific frame of mind the moment you ask the big question. I’m going to reveal specifically how I do it, then give you the research showing other proven modalities.
  • Six specific ways to keep resistance at bay. Once you’ve overcome it, you need to stop the tide from rolling in again…and it will if you don’t handle it with these six techniques.
  • The single most important determining factor in reading their mind.
  • I take you through numerous step by step processes for applying everything I have uncovered in the field of persuasion and influence and make it manageable for you.
  • The 5 most common mistakes experts make in influence and persuasion. I promise you do all of these things. I did. When you eliminate them…well you tell me…
  • The reason that the prescription you prescribe that will at first seem perfect for your client will cause them to bolt. Stop it now.
  • Learn how to overcome desperation on your part or the client’s part. Desperation is the single biggest killer in one on one influence.
  • Secret: Persuasion is most effective when it is interactive. Here is how to accomplish that!
  • Dealing with buyer’s remorse in advance…and when it happens. How to turn buyers remorse into long term permanent loyalty.
  • Why telling your counterpart the most sensible, easiest, fastest way to accomplish their goal will kill your sale. How to beat the problem before it brings out the ax…

Of course there is more.

You don’t need to have listened to the prior CDs to gain full benefit from this program. If you have mastered the prior library of CDs, I absolutely guarantee you that this program will make you wonder how you could have possibly had more to learn, to utilize, to create change, to solidify your expertise and become the ultimate master of persuasion.

Learn More or to Order

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Author of The Psychology of Persuasion, Irresistible Attraction, and The Science of Influence, Dr. Kevin Hogan is trusted by organizations, both large and small, to help them help their people reach their personal peak performance and maximize influence in selling and marketing. Kevin is an internationally admired keynote speaker and corporate thought leader. In Coffee with Kevin Hogan, he shares his research, observations, and how you can apply them in your life – both in business and at home.

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