Familiarity breeds content.
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Wait just a minute there…
Which is it?
Interesting isn’t it? For years you’ve said both depending on the context you find yourself in. And that’s an interesting observation you’ve had.
Certainly we know about the Propinquity Effect.
You know, two people live next door to each other and they end up hanging out together. Dating. Watching the game on weekends. There’s two boatloads of research that show that you find people who live in close proximity to you more attractive. The more often you see each other, the more attractive you become to each other.
Whew. There it is.
First Key: The more often you see someone, the more physically attractive they become in your mind.
But wait…something is weird about that scientifically proven fact…
What about the girl who says, “I just want to be friends.”
You’ve been friends forever. She is as hot as Vegas in the summer so she must see you (if you are the guy) as equally as hot…
You see her as Hot, Hotter, Hottest as each day passes and she sees you as Friend, Better Friend, Super Friend as each day passes.
How does THAT happen?
The guy ends up head over heels, completely in love, connected and ready to get married.
Well…the reality is if she doesn’t have …intimacy… with the guy pretty early on in the relationship, it almost certainly won’t happen later. If friendship comes before…intimacy… we’ll call it…then there won’t ever be an intimacy.
Yes. Of course. It CAN happen…but…probably not to you or anyone you know. Why?
How ARE Women Wired?
Women are wired in a fashion that is not the opposite of men, it is perpendicular.
The Propinquity Effect is real. The more often you observe someone or something, the more physically attractive she/he/it is to you. It’s a sound psychological fact.
It SEEMS obvious then, after a period of months, that the girl should reciprocate the guy’s liking and fall in love with him, too….
But that’s not what happens in the real world.
So, what explains the screwed up connection between guys who are friends with girls and the two completely separate wave lengths they operate on?
Well, we can solve this one pretty easily. It’s just impossible to see while you are in the moment.
Why is She Saying, “I like you like a brother”? Because you don’t have this…
“I like you like a brother.”
And she’s telling you the truth.
Had she seen you as having Reproductive Success Potential…
- Having Resources (Money, Education, Status, Dominance)
- Have Resource Potential
…when she first met you, her radar for long-term relationship would have honed in on you…and nailed you.
But, she didn’t.
In a minute I’ll come to how women detect that Resource Potential …thing…
The guy, of course, doesn’t care how much she makes, whether she graduated kindergarten, is the leader of some girl pack or anything else.
Is she cute?
And it’s Bingo Plus…because the two people see each other every day and he ends up falling in love because not only is she hot, but they are ALSO emotionally close.
Meanwhile in her brain, the guy…is her buddy.
Sure, he’s very attractive. All buddies are. But you typically don’t go to bed with them.
Now wait…am I trying to tell you that the respectful, patient, caring, nice guy ends up getting shafted in the world of love?
It’s way more problematic then that. (And just wait til we get to “nice guys” in business!)
What Do Women Want?
So here is the question:
Do women all want a nice guy for a long-term relationship?
Sort of…and they will almost always tell you, “yes,” but that “yes” is only partially true…part of the time.
Women have a complex decision making model that goes far beyond anything men experience. The fact is that women are well aware of the fact that most guys who know they are nice guys make a boatload LESS amount of money than the guy who doesn’t know whether he’s “agreeable” or not.
Women don’t measure this stuff. They experience it intuitively.
Guys would have no idea what a girl earns or what she might “do with her life.” The only way you’d find that out is to be her “friend.”
Let’s blend this with the business context for a minute.
The fact is that highly agreeable men are less likely to get hired for a job than a rude guy.
And if the agreeable guy does get hired, he is likely to earn less money.
Oh man…this is getting complicated.
So, women would prefer a rude jerk than a nice guy?! Ridiculous.
Well of course it’s ridiculous.
But the nice guy, on average, has fewer resources. And resources matter…a lot. When she gets pregnant and has a baby, those resources matter far more than a guy can ever understand. And, of course, what she WANTS goes beyond “family,” but it begins with Reproductive Success Potential.
Reproductive Success is the result of causing the survival of siblings and/or your future or present children. All things revolving around the passing of genes to the next generation and the successful continuation of YOUR genes.
ex. A father who would leave his children has a lower Reproductive Success Potential for his genes AND hers than a father who protects and cares for his children. However if he fathered 20 children, he’d have very high reproductive success potential for his genes. But the female isn’t driven to see HIS genes are passed along unless HER genes are in the pool. The same is true of the man, of course.
Healthy people have higher reproductive success than unhealthy people. You can estimate potential health for reproductive success by physical appearance, displayed attitudes and behaviors of men and women. A woman who has many sex partners has a lower Reproductive Sex Potential for one individual man’s genes.
It’s just what happens. Neither sex thinks about it. No intelligent, thinking woman consciously says, “I’m going to find a jerk and marry him.” Quite the opposite is true.
She is signaling all the time. I call it advertising. Either the woman is advertising or she isn’t. What’s absolutely fascinating is the research is clear that mated women (married or partnered in the 21st Century) advertise consistently when they are ovulating, then return to the biology of monogamy immediately thereafter.
Male advertising is not as predictable.
If the male is advertising his “niceness,” he’s asking for lots of female friendships, which can be rewarding, but generally not in terms of Reproductive Success.
Does it make sense she’d be biologically driven to a DISagreeable guy…?
The Agreeableness Factor
Women will tell you to a person that they’d prefer an agreeable guy vs. the disagreeable guy.
It’s common sense.
But “prefer” is a conscious mind consideration.
The nonconscious brain doesn’t “prefer” anything. It is driven. It is driven to eat, get out of pain, experience pleasure, seek independence, seek the safety of the larger group, have sex, be secure, be altruistic…the drives.
Meanwhile the part of the brain that “thinks” says, “I’d prefer a nice guy, what did you think I’d say, you idiot?”
The phrase, “Driven to Reproductive Success Potential,” just doesn’t come up in conversation often. A guys genes might assure her genes through signals. What’s going on deep inside of a woman? The genes of her immediate family (the siblings kids, her kids) are programmed to make sure they carry on to future generations. That’s a gene’s JOB.
Genes say, “Look good in those Jeans or we are finished.”
Genes tell men and women to SIGNAL just how valuable they are!
So why do women end up with the…well…jerk?
And, why in the world does the disagreeable guy, on average, make more money?
Isn’t the agreeable guy getting ripped here?
I like to think I’m a pretty nice guy. And I pride myself on that.
Hardly. I mean, I can be but I have to be thinking about it…
Agreeable is wishy-washy.
Agreeable is, “whatever works for you, honey.”
Agreeable is, “you pick, Sweetie.”
Agreeable is as stable as a wet bar of soap in her sleepy hands.
Dang. It dropped on the floor.
There is nothing there to grab onto.
The disagreeable guy stands up and out against the crowd. A lot of people see him as a jerk and he very well might be just that. He might also simply be disagreeable.
But he is definitely not agreeable. And that guy “gets paid”…and well…ends up with the cute girl…
Women are Driven to Men with Intrinsic Motivation
How does she gauge whether he’s an agreeable kind of guy?
And what does it mean?
There are two kinds of important Intrinsic Motivation that women are drawn to.
For the long-term, the alpha woman wants to see at least one of these two things in a guy.
- Power Motivation
- Achievement Motivation
One of those two things will likely lead to SOME KIND OF SUCCESS and that means RESOURCES and that means tangible Reproductive Success Potential.
Power Motivation is something that could lead to political/interpersonal success (leadership positions in some field).
Achievement Motivation is something that could lead to accomplishment.
Achievement can lead to power. Power can lead to achievement, but they aren’t the same thing.
The drives for the two things are also different.
If a guy runs for office and he has the AM (Achievement Motivation), he could win, and because he’s going to find out that an elected representative doesn’t have the kind of CONTROL over things that the Achiever thought, the Achiever is going to go nuts inside in that kind of job.
If a guy runs for office and he has the PM (Intrinsic Power Motivation) he could win and he’ll find out that LACK OF CONTROL doesn’t impact him as much as it does his Achieving counterpart. He HAS the power. He was driven by the Power Drive and he ended up with the manifestation of the power drive.
Here’s something most people don’t know: The AM (Achievement Motivation) PREDICTS SUCCESS in one’s own business. (But not politics.)
Women intuitively “know” this. They are driven, in part, by this.
There is a catch.
If the guy doesn’t have self CONTROL, then Achievement Motivation doesn’t predict success.
You aren’t going to tell me women are drawn to control freaks!…right…?
The Risk Factor
Now listen carefully:
Alpha women are driven to the Semi Control Freak side of the spectrum.
They’ll write a book about it later indicating their bad choice and encouraging others to not make the same mistake.
But Reproductive Success is much more about drive, not conscious mind choosing.
Women intuitively are drawn to a guy who takes MODERATE RISKS. She knows inside, that if a guy won’t take on risk, he will have no resources. i.e He will live from paycheck to paycheck.
Pay check to pay check, means zero security for her genes. And her neurobiology will struggle with that until it’s no longer pay check to pay check.
Women also intuitively “know” that mating (long-term) with a guy who takes BIG RISKS will bring no resources to the table.
That big risk guy can be a toy in the short run.
Big risk certainly doesn’t mean she won’t find that guy fascinating or compelling…he’s simply not gene-friendly.
So the woman who CAN choose is turned off by the guy who does not RISK andand arguably more importantly for long term mating…by the guy who RISKS too much or everything.
Risking everything can include being the artist who won’t do anything but his art to generate resources. He gambles everything, though he seems relaxed and calm. She will love the calm. She intuitively knows that a guy on either extreme is fraught with problems.
What Does This Radar Pick Up?
Her radar is looking for RATIONAL RISK.
It’s a radar. It’s not a thought conversation, among one’s selves.
Ask her to quantify this and it’s something most people can’t pull off without a lot of reflection.
Ultimately, the woman who can choose, wants the guy who will take rational risks. The guy who takes no risk and the guy who risks it all, behave differently, but they both end up in the same place five years from now. They produce no resources.
This radar women have serves them remarkably well.
Does She Ever Drop Her Radar?
Women can of course, consciously shut the radar off. They can fight it.
They can say, “I prefer the artist. He’s laid back, relaxed, calm and at peace.”
“I’m not an idiot. I’m not going to go out with that guy who is a jerk when I could hang out with an agreeable, easy going dude.”
And without inheritance… he will be out of resources shortly.
She could say, “I want the excitement of the guy who will jump the cars with the motorcycle. I want the guy who will gamble it all on # 17 in Vegas.”
And part of her is drawn to that for the in-the-moment fling.
But her instincts will kick back in when he crashes and burns literally or figuratively.
I’ve played in the biggest casinos in Sydney, Prague, Amsterdam, Las Vegas, Reno, Tahoe, Atlantic City. I’ve observed the behavior of men for a long time.
The Motorcycle Jumper, (he doesn’t really jump motorcycles), the guy who will gamble beyond his means, loses. Always. He might sit with me for three or four hours. But they are always the same. They lose what they don’t have. They are absolute losers. They bet twice as much as they can afford and often five times as much.
It’s tragic, to be frank.
They have no comprehension of what risk is and they are simply caught up in the adrenaline of the moment. It’s a rush.
The guy crashes and yells at the dealer.
The girl watching knows he’s lost his mind for not taking responsibility for his own results. The guy essentially has no Resource Potential. He could be a well cut body builder but for the long term…the answer is intuitively obvious to the woman.
The Power Plug In for Radar (only for women)
Women definitely have a Power Radar Plug In that keeps The Blamer at bay no matter how good-looking he is…
Me? I play with my friend, Rob. Rob is a rational player, he doesn’t make mistakes. He takes intelligent risks, is smart about money management and has a great wife.
There is no upside for a girl to be with a guy who takes no risk. There is no upside for a girl to be with a guy who risks beyond risk/reward.
Women see the guy who is in control of himself and his environment. It is this control that dovetails with Achievement Motivation that generates success as an entrepreneur, drives one up a ladder, makes for an excellent salesperson.
Intrinsic Motivation, power or achievement, is magnetic.
Key: If a guy has EITHER Motivation in high quantity and a strong sense of control (matched with real-life control) he will have a high probability of Reproductive Success. He is attractive as a mate because of those signals, typically independent of his physical appearance.
The women with the sharpest intuitions have this nailed. They biologically know who their best options are for Reproductive Success.
Just how does her radar work? Can it be jammed?
How Does Her Radar Work?
And what does the research tell us about how these signals are observed in real life?
- Are the guy’s stories “expansive?”
- Is he intense when engaged?
- Is he expressive?
- Is he emotionally intelligent (influential, empathic)
- Does he show evidence of delayed gratification?
- Does he freak out at potential loss of control? (If he does, he has greater potential for Reproductive Success)
And all of this is picked up on the radar of the intuitive girl. She doesn’t give tests….
And now we return to the guy being like “a buddy.”
Men and Women’s Brains are All Run Unconsciously
Meanwhile, because the guy is a guy; he rarely sees girls as his friend. Most girls… if they fall into their Hot and Attainable categories are simply and predictably viewed as possible mates…or at least someone who would want to practice a lot in preparation for the future.
Back up. There could be a catch here.
What if the guy is really good looking, has a Masters Degree and is going to be promoted to CEO of Apple?
She’d change for that, right? She wouldn’t hold true to the pattern.
The friendship never would have developed. She would have had a very different Coffee Filter in the machine as she looked at the guy on day One.
In this case, the two people connect and no “friendship” develops. Instead it’s about sex/romance/love et al. You pick the words… they are NOT friends.
But wait just ANOTHER MINUTE.
There’s another problem between the facts…
Where is All This Heading?
FACT: The more often people SEE each other, the more likeable they become to each other.
FACT: The more often people INTERACT with one another, the less interested at least one person will have in developing a romantic relationship.
Think about it.
When was the last time you had an argument with the cute girl three doors down from your place?
Love Hate the One You’re With?
Love Hate the One You’re With?
What was the last time you called the neighbor three doors down a total b….witch?
Well, you never have. Now the girl YOU LIVE WITH is a different story.
As you approach the moment the relationship is “over”, she is going to become known as a “PscyhoB…witch.” Every guy knows this. When the two divorce/breakup/split-up/whatever, she officially is a PB ….and he… is a four letter word…a Jerk…which is a euphemism for a……seven letter word.
So you get around someone you are willing to romantically connect with you. You move in/get married. Doesn’t matter which. You were never friends or almost certainly she wouldn’t have married you.
Soon thereafter, you argue, bicker, fight, throw stuff, she hits the guy and it usually doesn’t hurt but, you know…you can hear it all two doors down.
Yet…neither of you would EVER yell at the people up the block about …well…anything.
Am I trying to tell you that if you LIVE WITH someone you love/ have sex with/are romantically involved with/whatever with – that you are likely to end up disliking this person?
Yep…that’s what happens in the real world for most people.
Of course not.
Nothing is always. Just the vast majority of the time.
Being aware of this predictable propensity could help you avoid the big pitfalls of course, but for most people “awareness” and a $5 bill gets you a cup of coffee…
But human behavior will remain consistent regardless of the bad days we all experience, the challenges relationships have.,p.
The Not Rational Reaction
So, given that this is the case, it should be simple to resolve. If you’re the guy and she has blasted you out of her mind and life, then you, the guy, feel the same way…right? The girl would now “be free to go do as she will” with the one down the street and (if you’re the guy in this scenario) you’re going to be OK with this because she’s one step away from being a PsychoB (see above) anyway, right?
Of course not.
You’d be obligated to be hostile to the guy up the street and, on any given Tuesday that you weren’t worried about sharing a cell at the State Penitentiary for life, you’d happily delete the guy.
Each day goes by, and they both start to see a different person than they met. Some of those differences are a welcome relief. Others need to go out with Monday’s garbage.
What does this mean people should do if they are attracted to someone on Day One?
A Last Shot when all is going to hell?
Strike While the Iron is Hot
In general, each time the guy interacts with the girl, her level of interest will diminish because she will learn the flaws.
If she says she wants to get to know the guy, then her biology is saying, “Friends.”
And guys, on average, don’t want friends.
Reality. The more times the girl sees the guy without …consummating the relationship, the more flaws and defects she will find with him.
Isn’t this equally true with guys and how they view the girl?
Yes…except one thing.
A guy doesn’t care if she’s a Soviet spy, that she dribbles her food on her shirt when she eats. None of that even registers…if…she is cute.
If she’s not cute, of course, he wouldn’t be pursuing in the first place.
The more often two people SEE each other the more they are attracted to each other. The more two people INTERACT with each other, the more differences and flaws they find in each other.
With women, these flaws matter. Generally speaking, each time she talks at length with the guy, the flaws become more glaring.
Exceptions? Yes (for another time) but not a lot of them.
Doesn’t this really all happen only when one of the people is a Narcissist? You know…charming until you get to know them?
Not really. Some people might have further to fall than others, but the vast majority of people will begin to see differences fairly soon and it really doesn’t matter if the person is a narcissist or not.
What about in Business Settings?
This is only relevant to personal relationships, right?
Not on your life.
In general, the more minutes you spend with most people, the more traits and characteristics you dislike about them.
So what does this MEAN a person should do in a business relationship?
The saleswoman…the moment she makes the sale, should get out of Dodge as soon as the paperwork is signed. Don’t take the client out to eat after the paperwork is done. Don’t do anything but go process the file.
A Last Shot – Persistence
In a (potential) relationship, the woman will decide quickly whether she is going to choose to be intimate with a guy. If she chooses yes, he still has to take the RISK to move forward and she’ll as often as not look for that opportunity to say “no.” Then she discovers the trait of persistence.
And persistence will get you everything you want in life as a guy IF you take moderate risks.
[Sources: Norton, M.: Frost, J.; Ariely, D; Less Is More: The Lure of Ambiguity or why Familiarty Breeds Contempt. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 92, 2007.
Winter, David; Why Achievement Motivation Predicts Success in Business but Failure in Politics: The Importance of Control. Journal of Personality 78:6 , December 2010.
And also brand new research just published by Beth Livingston of Cornell University in New York, Timothy Judge of the University of Notre Dame in Australia and Charlie Hurst of the University of Western Ontario in London, Ont., which will be published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology]
Your Mentor – Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
Decision Point–Discover a System of Decision Making That Will Clear the Way to Success
See Application for Course Start Date
If you’ve ever taken one of my e-courses, yes, it’s like them! This E-course lasts 7 weeks and has more than 20 modules. You set your own schedule – you don’t have to be “in class” at any particular time each day. You get VIP access to a secret portion of the web site, and can log in at any time.
Maybe you have been experiencing one or more of the following:
You’ve been thinking of getting a divorce but your husband does bring in a decent income. There are other fish in the sea but you wonder if you can still compete. Can you do better? What about the kids? What do you DECIDE? How do you decide?
Moving is always tough but when there are more than one person’s job or one person going to a school that they love and the possibility of leaving friends behind makes for what many consider an impossible decision. What do YOU decide? How do you decide?
Your investments have done OK but your total income saved for your future is terrible. There are a lot of options you’ve been told about but you really don’t know what to do. What will you decide? How will you decide?
A relative lives with you. They take advantage of you but you can’t let them go because you don’t know what will happen to them. What is the right thing to do and will that thing be what you decide? How will you decide?
An elderly relative lives with you. They can’t take care of themselves any more. You hate the idea of a nursing home or “worse.” You also want “a life.” What will you decide to do?
You are a manager at your company and only have enough budget to pursue one product line. You can choose between an almost sure thing with a very modest return or a riskier proposal that could make you a superstar. What do you decide? How do you make the decision?
You’re on your way home for the holidays. You get stuck in bad weather and are put up at a local hotel. In the bar that night a beautiful woman strikes up a conversation with you and she has offered you the key to her room. What will you decide?
Your wife is two months pregnant. A test reveals the baby is going to be born with a disease that will require your 24/7 care for the rest of your life. She decides she wants to keep the baby. But you haven’t made your decision. What will you decide to do? How will you make the decision?
Your home has a horrible defect that you can cover easily in the selling process and the defect almost certainly won’t be discovered for years. Revealing it will reduce the price of your home $100,000. What will you decide to do? How will you decide?
You can stay at your present job which you really don’t like that much and live on a predictable but very modest income or you can pursue a venture that has about a 70% chance of success and if it succeeds, you would double your income. What do you decide to do? How do you decide?
“Just wanted to thank you. I took your Decision Point E-Course earlier this year, and have put the ideas into practice. I knew I wanted to leave my job, but didn’t seem able to decide when, how, etc. Well, using what I learned from you, I was able to make a very definitive decision about NOW being the time. I feel great about the timing in my life now and at peace with the decisions I made. This means so much to me! Mahalo nui loa (thank you so very much).”
Stephanie Smedes, Seattle, WA
You are involved in a custody battle for your children. One of the kids is misbehaving terribly and you don’t know whether you should spank them or discipline them firmly. The result could easily effect the results of the custody hearing. What do you do? How do you decide?
Two women have taken a liking to you. You date them both for some time. They both begin to talk about moving in and a permanent relationship. One is the kind of person you feel comfortable with and would be easy to love. The other is 10 years younger and is celebrity beautiful. Unfortunately she knows it and enjoys being the center of attention. What do you decide? How do you decide?
And those are just a few of the decisions that face real people every day. Decisions that people are forced into and have no idea what to do or how to do it.
THIS COURSE shows you how to make ALL of the decisions above.
And it’s important to note, that the right decision easily can be different from person to person. Knowing how to evaluate THAT is crucial to everything you will do…but no one ever does it….
“As a psychotherapist, I work in the minefield of decision-making and I can tell you that making good decisions is critical to happiness, success and relationships. Kevin Hogan’s course covers the terrain of decision-making with his usual thoroughness, candor and relevance. Kevin is always ahead of the game because of his extensive research, vast and varied connections and sharp mind. His thinking about ‘high noon’ and light a fuse, if applied, would save many relationships and learning the concept alone is more than worth the price of admission.”
Bob Beverley, psychotherapist, www.findwisdomnow.com
If you haven’t taken an e-course with me: an E-course with me is not like an E-course as thought of by the rest of the world. With me an E-course means you will have instruction in several media forms. Video, audio and text. There is NO specific time you must meet with me every day.
About 50% of the people who take my courses collect all the materials and work at their own pace later. The other half work with me and sometimes with other participants when necessary, on projects that are necessary to learning how to make RIGHT DECISIONS.
My courses are universally known to be challenging, results-oriented, pragmatic and show you EXACTLY how to get where you want to go.
Decision making is a function of thinking that almost 90% of people do very poorly. Most people think that if something turns out well, they made a good decision. If something turns out poorly they made a bad decision.
And that conditioning is one of the biggest reasons why people are poor decision makers.
Decision making is first and foremost about MAKING DECISIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Every day, people vacillate on making changes in their lives that they KNOW are absolutely necessary, but they decide to do nothing and hope for the best, only to live a life where nothing ever changes.
This is where we begin.
Elimination of PROCRASTINATION and VACILLATION.
You will learn how to recognize situations where you are about to commit acts of self-sabotage. I’ll show you how to identify it long before it becomes an issue. I’ll show you how to crush self-sabotage so you can make a CHOICE instead of only having the ability to stay with the Status Quo.
This first week’s module alone will be worth the investment in the course.
How would you like to NEVER procrastinate again?
What would happen if you could actually MOVE in the DIRECTION that you want to, even if it is ONLY AWAY FROM WHERE YOU ARE TODAY?!
By the end of week one, you will have daily projects to do for several weeks that will almost literally beat the habits of self-sabotage and procrastination from your life.
Most people don’t know that procrastination is a habit you picked up, but it is NOT your fault.
The same is true of self-sabotage.
I will explain why, where it all started, why it happens to everyone and why it must be eradicated intentionally and with no little effort. By the END of the course, IF YOU FOLLOW the Decision Point Plan, you will have eliminated procrastination and almost all forms of self-sabotage.
I’ll explain in detail why self-sabotage is a little trickier and lurks in EVERYONE’S back yard waiting to strike. I’ll show you how to get rid of it and then prevent it so you never have to deal with it in the future.
And that is only week one!
How we doin’ so far?!
Decision IS Destiny
If you could point to one word, to one factor, to one element or cause of what happens to you in your life, it is decision.
You make decisions all the time. Generally speaking, the more decisions a person makes, the more successful they are.
The better a person is at making decisions, the more successful they are.
When you move from your old home to the home you are in now; maybe you moved because you wanted a bigger house, or to put the kids in a better school district. Maybe it was just closer to where your job is…more convenient.
And of course in the case of uprooting and moving your family, you’re talking about a lot of variables, a lot of things to consider. You’re going to find out how to make the right decision in which house to buy and where to move.
What about leaving your job for some other opportunity?
FEAR enters the picture quite clearly and because the future is seemingly unpredictable, you feel frozen or stuck as to what to do, so you immediately default to stay in your same job. But there is a way to make this decision much easier. And you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you do….
But there are also the smaller decisions of life.
- Which movie to go see…
- Which show to watch on TV….
- What to make for dinner…
- Whether to go to the game or stay home….
- Whether to take a vacation with or without the kids…
- Whether to wear blue or black…
There is a simple method that takes little thinking at all to make these day to day decisions.
And then there are decisions that you make that influence other people’s lives like taking a new job, going into business for yourself, moving to a new area, having a surgery that has risks involved….
How do you know what to do? Don’t worry, most people haven’t got a clue as to how to make the right decision every time, and there is a right decision to make.
Then there are Destiny Decisions…those decisions that you make that will literally determine where you are going to be in three years or five years.
These are REALLY IMPORTANT decisions. Every day I see people screwing them up as if they are no big deal.
You’ll find out a methodical system that might take a very short amount of time or significantly longer depending on circumstances. Nevertheless, you will find out exactly what to do every time.
Obviously there are plenty of Black Swan’s (unexpected random events like hurricanes and terrorism) out there to get in the way of what you want in life, but nothing you can control impacts your life more than decision.
Write that down.
Put it on the refrigerator.
That alone is worth $10,000, yes?
Nothing you can control impacts your life more than decision.
How would life be different if you knew you were going to make the right decision, every time?
Did you know that in life, there is almost always a best decision?
What would happen if you had the method for decision?
What would it be worth to have a simple systematic approach to decision making where the guidelines are from your head and heart?
Most people are paralyzed with uncertainty about whether they should:
- Ask the girl to marry them.
- Make a purchase.
- Move from one place to another…
- Quit their job…
- Decide between committing one person or another.
- Start a business…
- Ask the girl to go out with them…
- Send the letter or not…
- Decide between hiring one person or another.
- Get a divorce….
- Send your kids to public or private school….
- Choose between a new car, a used car or no car….
- Go back to school to get more education….
- Fire the person or not.
- Invest in stocks, bonds, real estate and not screw up.
- Accurately plan for their future in all areas.
Why Do People Make Bad Decisions?
And…they make bad decisions because…we all have about 8-10 areas of failure in our brain….similar experiences where you make the wrong decisions over and over again.
(Like marrying the same guy five times, dating jerks, working for idiots, saying the wrong thing at the worst time, etc. Sound familiar?)
We’ll repair all of that. (If we don’t, life will be the same tomorrow as it has been in the past….)
Did you know there is a proven way to make the right decision in each of the above choices?
For the sake of discussion, let’s assume that is correct. There IS a method you can use to make the RIGHT decision just about every time.
It doesn’t take a genius to think, “I decide to make more money,” “lose weight,” “get a better job,” “get married to perfect person x”.
KEY: Learning the process of making the right decision involves making that decision STICK, be UNYIELDING and barring a Black Swan, guaranteeing you will follow through.
Over the last 15 years we’ve been fortunate to have studied the raw information about how to make laser beam accurate decisions. Complex software programs have shown scientists how to simplify the decision making process using some mostly simple (sorry, it’s not ALL instantly easy!) rules.
And now, you don’t need the software or the computer any more…
And, by the way, in the last 15 years there has been an incredible amount of research done about decision making that teach and use VERY FAULTY processes, that can’t and don’t work.
KEY: You’ll experience FIRST HAND, how what seems to be an obvious decision, is almost always the wrong one….the costly one…(often the disaster one….)
If you follow that teacher’s advice, you’ll flat out screw up.
You’ll end up with next to nothing and headaches and heartaches to boot.
People, including a lot of authors, are lazy.
They don’t do the research.
They don’t test.
Why should they?
They get paid the same no matter what and when YOU screw up, they just say, “you did it wrong.”
Play along for just a moment.
Can I ask you a question?
Have you ever read that it’s been proven that 93% of all communication is body language?
Of course, lots of times. Everyone has read that.
And of course, it’s not true.
(It’s not even close to accurate.)
How could that be, it’s common knowledge…isn’t it?
There was one study done by a brilliant communication researcher 35 years ago that evaluated people saying one word to another, with the other person only being able to see the person from the neck UP. (that leaves about 90% of the body out of the study.) In this one specific instance, Dr. Mehrabian found that about 93% of the communication sent was at a nonverbal level. Obviously when people communicate with more than one word and people can see below the neck, all kinds of factors change the percentages.
Problem is people read something in a book written by Goofball X and they believe what she writes because she says it’s “scientific.”
People look at their lives and think, “I did everything I was told…”
Yep and look at that life. It didn’t work.
The guru didn’t do the research. They went with the party line and taught that.
I don’t care about the party line because I don’t like the people at the party.
Remember when Benjamin Franklin did his famous experiment about testing each of the virtues (temperance and so forth) for a month so he could eventually become adept at all of them? I’ve heard most motivational speakers talk or write about this. I’d name them, but it would take an entire page…
Anyway…You remember… but he gave up the idea after the first week …he never did the experiment. He wrote early in his biography that he was going to do the project and then soon after decided not to. Basically he said it was impossible to do such a thing.
I’ve never heard ANYONE get that right, either.
But THEY TEACH YOU TO DO IT…
And because you trust them YOU TRY IT and FAIL.
Franklin’s personal challenge didn’t work for all kinds of reasons I’ll show you later.
Question: Why did you believe he actually did the project?
Only one reason: …because someone you trusted or believed, an author, a teacher….told you that it was true.
Want a quick way to filter a crummy guru out?
If they tell you that story, they didn’t get very far in Franklin’s biography. If they tell you that, they’d tell you anything.
By the way…what did Franklin do instead?!
I’ll show you that at Decision Point, too.
The point is that MOST of the stuff people tell you to do…. that is “scientific,” that is based on laws of the universe or proven techniques is nothing more than their imagination having run wild.
…and following their advice will get you the same ultimate destination, every time…
Back to Start. (If you don’t go into foreclosure first.)
So why don’t the vast majority of people make good decisions?
Why are people AFRAID to make decisions at all?
They’ve been given crummy information and worse methods for how to choose and what to do.
It’s that simple.
(OK, there are eight other core reasons people make crummy decisions every day, but to pick on your neighbor here is so not cool…)
And what does the Power of Decision Point give you in life?
- Personal freedom
- No limits
- The Ability to Succeed When Most Others Fail
- The Ability to Make Big Changes in Life with Easeand…
- Wealth if You Want It
- A LOT Better Life If You USE The Power of Decision
- Success when you use The Power of Decision.
You’re going to learn it ALL in this 7 Week E-Course.
If you’ve been in an E-Course with me, you know that although they are always convenient, they are also densely packed with practical, real life application as the end result. That is the same here. Everything you learn will be immediately applied to a crucial part of your life because there is a LOT going on in your life right now and a LOT of it has to change but you don’t know WHAT.
Each week you’ll receive a number of emails or documents from me. You’ll have homework assignments that are all real-life based…your life. You’ll be given audio’s to listen to or video to watch. You will once again, find out what “over delivery” means!
You’re going to discover:
- How People Decide
- Why Most People Make Almost All Bad Decisions
- How to KNOW What to do…
- The Four Factors of Luck and How to Tilt the “Luck Factor” in YOUR Favor.
- How to Beat the Black Swan when Bad Luck Strikes….
- All of the Successful Strategies for Decision Including Decision Point: MY PERSONAL SYSTEM
“You’ll never see a sunset if you keep going east! And you’ll never live the changes you want in life if you exercise your decisions in the wrong way. No matter how positive or determined you are. So, if you want to begin making decisions that will help you take control of your life at a whole new level, then you need to enroll and immerse yourself in Kevin’s new e-decision-making course. It’s packed with fresh, new, exciting information that will help you train your brain, period. Since I completed the course, I have learned to think better and smarter about challenges, enjoy being able to make powerful, timely and well-considered decisions with new secret technology that until recently, only the elite had access to. In the course, besides being presented in a convenient format, you will be able to start and work on your learning curve at your own pace. And, personalized learning means you can contact Kevin at any stage of the course. I strongly recommend this course, it has solutions that really work!”
David Power, London, England
Do you sell something for a living?
[Pay attention- I’m going to show you how to analyze how your client WILL DECIDE on buying your product or service…and I’ll show you WHAT is going to happen next…think that might be worth $10,000?!]
I’ve never given the system for DECISION POINT to anyone.
I’m not going to write about it in Coffee….ever.
But the time is now to experience a truly transformational experience in an exciting and unique E-course.
I PROMISE YOU:
No one else is going to ever show you this information. You’ll never experience these experiences with anyone else. You can’t find anything remotely similar “out there.”
So essentially, you’re stuck spending seven weeks with me. As with all of my E-Courses, I am your PERSONAL COACH and you don’t have to be at any specific place at any specific time. The program is delivered via audio, video, and text.
So what’s going to happen in these seven fascinating weeks?
I’ll personally show you the problems you face when you make decisions.
You’ll find out the impact of other people on your decision.
I’ll show you how to minimize the NEGATIVE impact of other people on your decisions, including the people you might love or work with every day.
You won’t regret your decisions anymore.
You’ll understand how to MINIMIZE RISK and MAXIMIZE RETURN on both business and personal decisions.
I’ll show you EXACTLY what to do when the RIGHT decision you determine, FEELS completely wrong.
Finding out how your beliefs, faith, values and lifestyle factor into your decisions matters a lot to you. No one else shows you how to be true to yourself and others around you while you decide for your Self or for many.
At the end of the course, you will have one cool, big Coffee Table-Sized Manual that you will be able to refer to forever.
Your tuition: See Application Form for current discounts!
A couple things before you apply!
- I reserve the right to reject any application for any reason.
- There may be a few group projects that are necessary for making decisions where two people are involved, instead of just you (as in a marriage, with kids, or at work). If you are unwilling to e-mail one of your fellow participants during these two projects do not apply.
- Everything is yours to keep, but you may not share or give away any of this information to anyone.
- If you’re still here with me, then I look forward to seeing your application!