Most people think of trustworthiness as a “character trait.”
And like most character “traits,” it really is most often not.
Someone who is trustworthy in your experience and mind is likely perceived differently by a number of people.
We trust people who we personally experience as dependable.
We trust people who we personally experience as the one who gets the job done.
We trust people who we personally experience as safe in a way that is important to us.
We also trust people we’ve never met because someone we do trust has told us that this new person is trustworthy!
That of course means the person believes the person has been trustworthy for and to THEM.
In baseball, trustworthiness is not about whether the person is safe to hold your wallet but who is most likely to perform in a given situation. The manager selects the person with the best track record to pinch hit in that critical moment.
Trust isn’t a trait, it’s a context dependent thermometer.
An excellent predictor of trust is a credit report which is easily accessible by banks, insurance companies and employers to objectively gauge someone’s level of trust.
You and I can’t pull a credit report on friends and family or even the people we do business with. And your clients and potential clients can pull yours.
This makes redemption possible for those who have habitually screwed up in trust situations in the past. It also means that trust is not easily measured or perceived in an accurate fashion.
First thing you want people to consider is their EXPERIENCE with you.
I’ve seen David work for my audiences before.
I’ve seen people like and learn from him on more than one occasion.
I’ve seen him be timely, intelligent, wise, loyal, effective.
Each of those things determines how much trust I have in David or someone like David as the context changes. In some contexts, intelligence doesn’t matter much. In others the whole ball game rests on it.
I’ve done JV’s with him and his company fulfills products in a timely fashion.
The breadth of his knowledge on what I wanted to have him present would allow him to speak for DAYS even though I only asked for 4 hours.
That’s not a LOT to base “trust” on, but it’s more than most people objectively have.
In truth, dependability (will they be on time, every time, i.e. are they PREDICTABLE) is a critical factor in who trust is assigned to by another. Which brings up back to the Amsterdam researchers who wrote, Trust and Self Control for The Journal of Personality.
Trust is NOT a one way street.
If you want someone’s trust, you must know that both people come into the ultimate equation of trust.
The trusting person, (me in this case) has to …first have the ABILITY to trust. That means the trusting person has to have the ability to influence.
…second have the BENEVOLENCE to trust. The trusting person has significant attachment to the trusted person.
There is a high degree of certainty in the friendship.
…third have the INTEGRITY to trust. This is my BELIEF that David/Deb have the integrity to come through. They have principles and values that are acceptable to me, the trusting person. In my mind, I have already declared them holy and I believe that my mind matters to them. That’s what I believe.
It could all be an illusion. I could easily be wrong. But you don’t put your event on the line with someone who is not holy in your mind. You can’t.
The Flip Side of Trust
On my side of the coin, it all comes down to their knowing my BELIEF they will perform brilliantly and I see their MOTIVATION as high, to act favorably toward me over other options.
Trustworthiness is not just about them. It’s about US.
Trusting that person means that I believe they will act MORE in my favor than Self Interest in reference to this event.
Are They Worthy?
Most people are worthy of trust by some people and not others.
SOME people are worthy of trust by most people. They are individuals who are focused on the opinions and beliefs of others while expecting a specific set of behaviors from themselves. They want to be predictable.
No one is worthy of trust by everyone in every context. Not even you and me and you and I are both more than a little attentive to the needs of others and the perception of ourselves in others!
Ultimate Decision Factor
The ultimate decision factor in whether I will TRUST that person is the same factor most people measure with.
No one is consciously aware of it, but people trust those who predictably exhibit self regulation.
If they can self regulate on your behalf and BECAUSE of you, they can very likely be trusted.
You and I have evolved to believe that the person who you have seen repel outside influences in favor of taking care of your best interest is the best choice to trust.
Trusting someone without behaviorally predictable self control is obviously dangerous.
That’s a lot of holy.
How to Be Afforded More Trust
The researchers in the study found that people who were observed as having achieved a goal, offered forgiveness or had been reliable were afforded more trust by most people.
We also know that you can only go to the well so many times in life. The Hote One might be easy to brush off the first time, but the second?
Self Regulation means that when you observe a person and evaluate their trust in light of behaviors that showed self control the first time you are more likely to trust them than when Self Regulation Units are used up.
It’s human nature.
It’s a lot easier to say no to snacks early in the day than late at night. Everyone lives it. Everyone knows it.
Knowing all of this, I’m sure you are going to identify with the notion of not being a completely trusting individual!
The question is, “is that a smart choice?”
If trusting others is part of the trustworthiness equation in others it seems counter intuitive to not being trusting.
What’s the answer?
Should “Trust” Be In Your Vocabulary?
People with a great deal of real world experience with many people over many contexts tend to not be as trusting as people without real world experience in many different contexts.
People who travel don’t even bother putting the word trust in their vocabulary. The point is moot.
- Rental Car Company
- Hotel Event Staff
- Hotel Event Promoter
…and you have to ask?
Travelers, more than just about anyone, know that to trust is often similar to begging for a bad experience.
BUT, the research shows that if you don’t trust, the person won’t come through.
This doesn’t mean if you do trust they will, it just means that your odds increase.
Therefore, you trust…with a back up plan.
Key to Trust
So WHO do you and I trust, for real?!
The results of research show that you and I will trust people who SELF REGULATE.
If you want people to trust YOU, then you better start Self Regulating NOW.
You are the person who gets stuff done, always makes it happen, is there in the clutch.
That image is not maintainable except by the person who actually Self Regulates. And as we have often discussed, most people don’t self regulate well or wisely.
Getting people to trust you is a function of causing people to see you as someone who self regulates.
David, in retrospect wasn’t the right choice, he was the obvious choice.
You want to have as many people like David Garfinkel and Deb Cole in your life as you can.
And you want to be able to show your public that YOU are (like) David and Deb and that YOU come through in spite of stiff competition when real life arises.
Discover a System of Decision Making That Will Clear the Way to Success
Course begins: November 1, 2020
If you’ve ever taken one of my Course Intensives, yes, it’s like them!
The Decision Point Course lasts 7 weeks and has more than 20 modules. You set your own schedule – you don’t have to be “in class” at any particular time each day. You get VIP access to a secret members-only section of the KevinHogan.com site and can log in at any time.
Registration today for the course that begins this week allows you to save $700 off the $1,995 price to the public.
If you could point to one word, to one factor, to one element or cause of what happens to you in your life, it is decision.
Which one of these have you been experiencing in the last year?
Moving is always tough but when there are more than one person’s job or one person going to a school that they love and the possibility of leaving friends behind makes for what many consider an impossible decision. What do YOU decide? How do you decide?
Your investments have done OK but your total income saved for your future is not enough. There are a lot of options you’ve been told about but you really don’t know what to do. What will you decide? How will you decide?
You are a manager at your company and only have enough budget to pursue one product line. You can choose between an almost sure thing with a very modest return or a riskier proposal that could make you a superstar. What do you decide? How do you make the decision?
You’re on your way home for the holidays. You get stuck in bad weather and are put up at a local hotel. In the bar that night a beautiful woman strikes up a conversation with you and she has offered you the key to her room. What will you decide?
A relative lives with you. They take advantage of you but you can’t let them go because you don’t know what will happen to them. What is the right thing to do and will that thing be what you decide? How will you decide?
An elderly relative lives with you. They can’t take care of themselves anymore. You hate the idea of a nursing home or “worse.” You also want “a life.” What will you decide to do?
Your wife is two months pregnant. A test reveals the baby is going to be born with a disease that will require your 24/7 care for the rest of your life. She decides she wants to keep the baby. But you haven’t made your decision. What will you decide to do? How will you make the decision?
Your home has a horrible defect that you can cover easily in the selling process and the defect almost certainly won’t be discovered for years. Revealing it will reduce the price of your home $100,000. What will you decide to do? How will you decide?
You can stay at your present job which you really don’t like that much and live on a predictable but very modest income or you can pursue a venture that has about a 70% chance of success and if it succeeds, you would double your income. What do you decide to do? How do you decide?
I feel great about the timing in my life now…
Just wanted to thank you. I took your Decision Point Course earlier this year, and have put the ideas into practice. I knew I wanted to leave my job but didn’t seem able to decide when, how, etc. Well, using what I learned from you, I was able to make a very definitive decision about NOW being the time. I feel great about the timing in my life now and at peace with the decisions, I made. This means so much to me! Mahalo nui loa (thank you so very much).
You’ve been thinking of getting a divorce but you're just not sure. There are other fish in the sea but you wonder if you can still compete? Can you do better? What about the kids? What do you DECIDE? How do you decide?
You are involved in a custody battle for your children. One of the kids is misbehaving terribly and you don’t know whether you should spank them or discipline them firmly. The result could easily affect the results of the custody hearing. What do you do? How do you decide?
Two women have taken a liking to you. You date them both for some time. They both begin to talk about moving in and a permanent relationship. One is the kind of person you feel comfortable with and would be easy to love. The other is 10 years younger and is celebrity beautiful. Unfortunately, she knows it and enjoys being the center of attention. What do you decide? How do you decide?
And those are just a few of the decisions that face real people every day. Decisions that people are forced into and have no idea what to do or how to do it.
THIS COURSE shows you how to make ALL of the decisions above.
And it’s important to note, that the right decision easily can be different from person to person. Knowing how to evaluate THAT is crucial to everything you will do…but no one ever does it….
Kevin is always ahead of the game…
As a psychotherapist, I work in the minefield of decision-making and I can tell you that making good decisions is critical to happiness, success, and relationships. Kevin Hogan’s course covers the terrain of decision-making with his usual thoroughness, candor, and relevance. Kevin is always ahead of the game because of his extensive research, vast and varied connections and sharp mind. His thinking about ‘high noon’ and light a fuse, if applied, would save many relationships and learning the concept alone is more than worth the price of admission.
This is not like other online courses you've taken. With me, you will have instruction in several media forms. Video, audio, and text. There is NO specific time you must meet with me every day, but you will have special VIP email access to me throughout the course. And you will have access to the members' only discussion group.
About 50% of the people who take my courses collect all the materials and work at their own pace later. The other half work with me and sometimes with other participants when necessary, on projects that are necessary to learn how to make the RIGHT DECISIONS.
My Courses are universally known to be challenging, results-oriented, pragmatic and show you EXACTLY how to get where you want to go.
It's the Decision Point
Decision making is a function of thinking that almost 90% of people do very poorly. Most people think that if something turns out well, they made a good decision. If something turns out poorly they made a bad decision.
And that conditioning is one of the biggest reasons why people are poor decision makers.
Decision making is first and foremost about MAKING DECISIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Every day, people vacillate on making changes in their lives that they KNOW are absolutely necessary, but they decide to do nothing and hope for the best, only to live a life where nothing ever changes.
This is where we begin.
Elimination of PROCRASTINATION and VACILLATION.
You will learn how to recognize situations where you are about to commit acts of self-sabotage. I’ll show you how to identify it long before it becomes an issue. I’ll show you how to crush self-sabotage so you can make a CHOICE instead of only having the ability to stay with the Status Quo.
This first week’s module alone will be worth the investment in the course.
How would you like to NEVER procrastinate again?
What would happen if you could actually MOVE in the DIRECTION that you want to, even if it is ONLY AWAY FROM WHERE YOU ARE TODAY?!
By the end of week one, you will have daily projects to do for several weeks that will almost literally beat the habits of self-sabotage and procrastination from your life.
Most people don’t know that procrastination is a habit you picked up, but it is NOT your fault.
The same is true of self-sabotage.
I will explain why, where it all started, why it happens to everyone and why it must be eradicated intentionally and with no little effort. By the END of the course, IF YOU FOLLOW the Decision Point Plan, you will have eliminated procrastination and almost all forms of self-sabotage.
I’ll show in detail why self-sabotage is a little trickier and lurks in EVERYONE’S backyard waiting to strike. I’ll show you how to get rid of it and then prevent it so you never have to deal with it in the future.
And that is only week one! How we doin’ so far?!
Decision IS Destiny
You make decisions all the time. Generally speaking, the more decisions a person makes, the more successful they are.
The better a person is at making decisions, the more successful they are.
When you move from your old home to the home you are in now; maybe you moved because you wanted a bigger house, or to put the kids in a better school district. Maybe it was just closer to where your job is…more convenient.
And of course, in the case of uprooting and moving your family, you’re talking about a lot of variables, a lot of things to consider. You’re going to find out how to make the right decision in which house to buy and where to move.
What about leaving your job for some other opportunity?
FEAR enters the picture quite clearly and because the future is seemingly unpredictable, you feel frozen or stuck as to what to do, so you immediately default to stay in your same job. But there is a way to make this decision much easier. And you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you do….
But there are also the smaller decisions of life.
- Which movie to go see…
- Which show to watch on TV….
- What to make for dinner…
- Whether to go to the game or stay home….
- Whether to take a vacation with or without the kids…
- Whether to wear blue or black…
There is a simple method that takes little thinking at all to make these day to day decisions.
And then there are decisions that you make that influence other people’s lives like taking a new job, going into business for yourself, moving to a new area, having a surgery that has risks involved….
How do you know what to do? Don’t worry, most people haven’t got a clue as to how to make the right decision every time, and there is a right decision to make.
Then there are Destiny Decisions…those decisions that you make that will literally determine where you are going to be in three years or five years.
These are REALLY IMPORTANT decisions. Every day I see people screwing them up as if they are no big deal.
You’ll find out a methodical system that might take a very short amount of time or significantly longer, depending on circumstances. Nevertheless, you will find out exactly what to do every time.
Obviously, there are plenty of Black Swan's (unexpected random events like hurricanes and terrorism) out there to get in the way of what you want in life, but nothing you can control impacts your life more than a decision).
Write that down.
Put it on the refrigerator.
That alone is worth $10,000, yes?
Nothing you can control impacts your life more than a decision.
How would life be different if you knew you were going to make the right decision, every time?
Did you know that in life, there is almost always the best decision?
What would happen if you had the method for decision making?
What would it be worth to have a simple systematic approach to decision making where the guidelines are from your head and heart?
Most people are paralyzed with uncertainty about whether they should:
- Ask the girl to marry them.
- Make a purchase.
- Move from one place to another...
- Quit their job...
- Decide between committing one person or another.
- Start a business...
- Ask the girl to go out with them...
- Send the letter or not...
- Decide between hiring one person or another.
- Get a divorce...
- Send your kids to public or private school...
- Choose from a new car, a used car, or no car...
- Go back to school to get more education...
- Fire the person or not.
- Invest in stocks, bonds, real estate and not screw up.
- Accurately plan for their future in all areas.
Why Do People Make Bad Decisions?
And...they make bad decisions because...we all have about 8-10 areas of failure in our brain….similar experiences where you make the wrong decisions over and over again.
(Like marrying the same guy five times, dating jerks, working for idiots, saying the wrong thing at the worst time, etc. Sound familiar?)
We’ll repair all of that. (If we don’t, life will be the same tomorrow as it has been in the past….)
Did you know there is a proven way to make the right decision in each of the above choices?
For the sake of discussion, let's assume that is correct. There IS a method you can use to make the RIGHT decision just about every time.
It doesn't take a genius to think, "I decide to make more money," "lose weight," "get a better job," "get married to perfect person x".
KEY: Learning the process of making the right decision involves making that decision STICK, be UNYIELDING and barring a Black Swan, guaranteeing you will follow through.
Over the last 15 years, we've been fortunate to have studied the raw information about how to make laser beam accurate decisions. Complex software programs have shown scientists how to simplify the decision making process using some mostly simple (sorry, it's not ALL instantly easy!) rules.
And now, you don't need the software or the computer anymore...
And, by the way, in the last 15 years, there has been an incredible amount of research done about decision making that teaches and uses VERY FAULTY processes, that can't and don't work.
KEY: You'll experience FIRST HAND, how what seems to be an obvious decision, is almost always the wrong one....the costly one...(often the disaster one....)
If you follow that teacher's advice, you'll flat out screw up.
You'll end up with next to nothing and headaches and heartaches to boot.
People get emotional.
People are lazy.
They don't do the research.
They don't test.
Why should they?
They get paid the same no matter what and when YOU screw up, they just say, "you did it wrong."
Play along for just a moment.
Can I ask you a question?
Have you ever read that it's been proven that 93% of all communication is body language?
Of course, lots of times. Everyone has read that.
And of course, it's not true.
(It's not even close to accurate.)
How could that be, it's common knowledge...isn't it?
There was one study done by a brilliant communication researcher 35 years ago that evaluated people saying one word to another, with the other person only being able to see the person from the neck UP. (that leaves about 90% of the body out of the study.) In this one specific instance, Dr. Mehrabian found that about 93% of the communication sent was at a nonverbal level. Obviously when people communicate with more than one word and people can see below the neck, all kinds of factors change the percentages.
Problem is people read something in a book written by Goofball X and they believe what she writes because she says it's "scientific."
People look at their lives and think, "I did everything I was told..."
Yep and look at that life. It didn't work.
The guru didn't do the research. They went with the party line and taught that.
I don't care about the party line because I don't like the people at the party.
Remember when Benjamin Franklin did his famous experiment about testing each of the virtues (temperance and so forth) for a month so he could eventually become adept at all of them? I've heard most motivational speakers talk or write about this. I'd name them, but it would take an entire page...
Anyway...You remember... but he gave up the idea after the first week ...he never did the experiment. He wrote early in his biography that he was going to do the project and then soon after decided not to. Basically, he said it was impossible to do such a thing.
I've never heard ANYONE get that right, either.
But THEY TEACH YOU TO DO IT...
And because you trust them YOU TRY IT and FAIL.
Franklin's personal challenge didn't work for all kinds of reasons I'll show you later.
Question: Why did you believe he actually did the project?
Only one reason: ...because someone you trusted or believed, an author, a teacher....told you that it was true.
Want a quick way to filter a crummy guru out?
If they tell you that story, they didn't get very far in Franklin's biography. If they tell you that, they'd tell you anything.
By the way...what did Franklin do instead?!
I'll show you that at Decision Point, too.
The point is that MOST of the stuff people tell you to do.... that is "scientific," that is based on laws of the universe or proven techniques is nothing more than their imagination having run wild.
...and following their advice will get you the same ultimate destination, every time...
Back to Start. (If you don't go into foreclosure first.)
So why don't the vast majority of people make good decisions?
Why are people AFRAID to make decisions at all?
They've been given crummy information and worse methods for how to choose and what to do.
It's that simple.
(OK, there are eight other core reasons people make crummy decisions every day, but to pick on your neighbor here is so not cool...)
And what does the Power of Decision Point give you in life?
- Personal freedom
- No limits
- The Ability to Succeed When Most Others Fail
- The Ability to Make Big Changes in Life with Ease and...
- Wealth if You Want It
- A LOT Better Life If You USE The Power of Decision
- Success when you use The Power of Decision.
You're going to learn it ALL in this 7 Week E-Course.
If you’ve been in an E-Course with me, you know that although they are always convenient, they are also densely packed with practical, real life application as the end result. That is the same here. Everything you learn will be immediately applied to a crucial part of your life because there is a LOT going on in your life right now and a LOT of it has to change but you don’t know WHAT.
Each week you’ll receive a number of emails or documents from me. You’ll have homework assignments that are all real-life based…your life. You’ll be given audio’s to listen to or video to watch. You will once again, find out what “over delivery” means!
You're going to discover:
- How People Decide
- Why Most People Make Almost All Bad Decisions
- How to KNOW What to do...
- The Four Factors of Luck and How to Tilt the "Luck Factor" in YOUR Favor.
- How to Beat the Black Swan when Bad Luck Strikes...
- All of the Successful Strategies for Decision Including Decision Point: MY PERSONAL SYSTEM
Personalized learning means you can contact Kevin at any stage of the course
You’ll never see a sunset if you keep going east! And you’ll never live the changes you want in life if you exercise your decisions in the wrong way. No matter how positive or determined you are. So, if you want to begin making decisions that will help you take control of your life at a whole new level, then you need to enroll and immerse yourself in Kevin’s new decision-making course. It’s packed with fresh, new, exciting information that will help you train your brain, period. Since I completed the course, I have learned to think better and smarter about challenges, enjoy being able to make powerful, timely and well-considered decisions with new secret technology that until recently, only the elite had access to. In the course, besides being presented in a convenient format, you will be able to start and work on your learning curve at your own pace. And, personalized learning means you can contact Kevin at any stage of the course. I strongly recommend this course, it has solutions that really work!
Do you sell something for a living?
[Pay attention: I'm going to show you how to analyze how your client WILL DECIDE on buying your product or service...and I'll show you WHAT is going to happen next...think that might be worth $10,000?!]
I've never given the system for DECISION POINT to anyone.
I'm not going to write about it in Coffee....ever.
But the time is now to experience a truly transformational experience in an exciting and unique E-course.
I PROMISE YOU:
No one else is going to ever show you this information. You'll never experience these experiences with anyone else. You can't find anything remotely similar "out there."
So essentially, you're stuck spending seven weeks with me. As with all of my Course Intensives, I am your PERSONAL COACH and you don't have to be at any specific place at any specific time. The program is delivered via audio, video, and text.
So what's going to happen in these seven fascinating weeks?
I'll personally show you the problems you face when you make decisions.
You'll find out the impact of other people on your decision.
I'll show you how to minimize the NEGATIVE impact of other people on your decisions, including the people you might love or work with every day.
You won't regret your decisions anymore.
You'll understand how to MINIMIZE RISK and MAXIMIZE RETURN on both business and personal decisions.
I'll show you EXACTLY what to do when the RIGHT decision you determine, FEELS completely wrong.
Finding out how your beliefs, faith, values and lifestyle factor into your decisions matters a lot to you. No one else shows you how to be true to yourself and others around you while you decide for your Self or for many.
At the end of the course, you will have one cool, big Coffee Table-Sized Manual that you will be able to refer to forever.
Your tuition: $1,995 but save $700 with this last minute chance to get in today!
A couple things before you apply!
- I reserve the right to reject any application for any reason.
- There may be a few group projects that are necessary for making decisions where two people are involved, instead of just you (as in a marriage, with kids, or at work). If you are unwilling to e-mail one of your fellow participants during these two projects do not apply.
- Everything is yours to keep, but you may not share or give away any of this information to anyone.
- If you're still here with me, then I look forward to seeing your application!
$1,995 but save $700 today by getting your application in under the wire!
This course is such a huge eye-opener!
I’m finding the Decision Point Course absolutely fascinating. Firstly, because I had totally underestimated the value and effect of decisions on our lives. Secondly, I’ve always been aware of some of my biases – I’m a fairly ardent feminist for example, and I have often stopped and questioned myself if I’m “seeing through a feminist filter” and I do laugh at myself sometimes when I realize. But I had no idea just how prevalent other biases are, and this course is a fascinating voyage of self-discovery. I’m enjoying the course from a learning perspective in general – your other courses that I’ve done have been for the purpose of improving my business, whereas this one, while it will definitely help in that regard too, feels as though it’s more for me personally. I’m also enjoying the learning for learning’s sake as much as for self-development. This course is such a huge eye-opener!