Why is it that people can get something going, then all of a sudden they stop doing something that would have been OBVIOUSLY successful?
- What is it that causes us to RECOGNIZE when opportunity knocks, then we fail to say, “YES!”
- Why can we KNOW all the right things to do…and still blow it?
- Do you know someone who met their quota by Wednesday and took the rest of the week off?
- Have you ever heard of someone have a job interview Thursday but seemed to feel sick on Wednesday so canceled the interview?
- A man doesn’t ask a woman out because he thinks she is too pretty for him.
- You know as well as I do that the stock market over any 30 year period returns 12% per year average return but we still keep our money in a bank where it currently returns…1%. (You can double your money at 1% in approximately 76 years!)
- You know as well as I do that being 30 pounds overweight will take 4 years off of your 80 year life but who do you know that actually followed through on their weight loss goal set on January 1…which is…not that many days ago? That’s what I thought!
- You are almost to the point of buying the house you really love and you find out your credit is bad.
- You know as well as I do that the first 45 hours of work you perform each week pays your bills and keeps your employer in business. How many people do you know who actually have another venture they are dedicating their life to outside that 45? Right…not many.
- You know as well as I do that the most important thing you can do every month is invest in your SELF. How many people do you know who actually invest in themSELF every month by investing in an IRA or something that will grow (ie your own business) that will take care of YOU when you no longer can?
We’ve all been there. I have. Yes. On many occasions I have had the gold in my hands and failed to close my palms and keep it. It happens a lot less often in 2009 than it did in 1982 though, and here’s the story…
The answer lies in the brain…
The Emotional Brain and the Thinking Brain
Without getting too darned sophisticated…the older animal part of the brain, also thought of as the emotional brain, is prewired at birth. As the first couple of years of human life happen, most of the connections in the brain atrophy while those regularly used strengthen. (This is true of the evolutionarily newer brain on the top of the older brain but we’ll get to this in a moment.)
The emotional brain is an almost instinctive and “unconscious part” of the total brain network. It simply does stuff and reacts in ways that seem to be survival oriented for the self and for the future gene pool of the self. Not too much conscious “thought” goes on. It just happens…
The newer part of the brain is the stuff on top. We’ll call it the cortex. The stuff on top developed last in the history of evolution and it develops last as the baby grows in the womb and ultimately continues growing after birth. This part of the brain loves to be inspired to do new things, to change, to consider possibilities, is moral, thoughtful and wants to do the right thing. It actually can be a pretty “conscious” part of who you are as a person.
The connections from the emotional brain to the thinking brain are very strong and many. The connections leading back down to the emotional brain from the thinking brain are weaker and fewer.
This causes a problem in humans: We can get lots of good ideas but whatever is programmed both from nature and particularly the first couple of years of nurture will usually “run” the person. Significant change is very unlikely in the average person because our environments generally discourage change. Let’s look at an example:
- Why don’t people invest more in themselves as far as education and less in entertainment? The reason is simple.
It takes mental effort to learn anything more than currently fits into our current beliefs (all of which were programmed in by others and nature long ago). Therefore it’s much easier to simply go with the flow and be in the moment…doing what feels good now instead of learning new information that could change our lives. The instant reward of food, drink, anything that feels pleasant is far more compelling to the human animal than to save for the future, educate for future.
KEY: Learning anything NEW that conflicts with current programming or significantly modifies it is generally rejected in favor of doing that which is familiar and has instantly predictable results.
- Why don’t people go apply for the new job? Why don’t they ask the girl for a date? The answer is the same.
There are no neural connections for these new experiences. In other words, the brain has no familiarity with the unfamiliar environments. I’ve talked with prisoners inside of penal institutions and do you know what they fear? That’s right: Leaving. Years of new neural connections have re-wired the brain to where getting OUT of jail becomes unattractive at the limbic/emotional level. The person KNOWS that getting out SHOULD be a GOOD thing but the emotional brain has gone through years of rewiring to make it a fearful event.
KEY: (REPEAT) Learning ANYTHING new that conflicts with current programming or significantly modifies it is generally rejected in favor of doing that which is familiar and has INSTANTLY predictable results.
12% doesn’t make any sense to my neural pathways if it hasn’t been trained since birth to make sense. But having an ice cream cone makes perfect sense. It tastes soooooooo good!
Self-sabotage is most often the conscious/unconscious acts of the limbic brain overcoming the wiser, more thoughtful thinking brain.
How to Stop Self Sabotage Now! Forever!
The critical element, as you have already discovered, in self-sabotage is that in order to overcome self defeating behaviors, you must rewire the hard drive of your brain. One session of hypnosis and NLP isn’t going to cut it. In fact, it would be totally impotent on a long term basis. Here is the ONLY way to overcome self sabotage.
- Take out a sheet of paper and write about your ideal life. In other words, 10 years from now, or five years from now what would you like your life to be in a very specific fashion. You must create explicit mental images (including as many senses as possible) first. Take up as many sheets of paper as possible writing about your desired, ideal life. This is the critical step that creates the foundation for change to be permanent. On a neurological level this accomplishes the communication of neurons that haven’t communicated before. You are literally introducing neurons to each other like neighbors that haven’t ever met. It’s a bit awkward and uncomfortable but the beginnings of bonding have begun.
- You must take your current mental picture of who you are and your current behavior, which isn’t necessarily your “fault” and thoroughly write about that. This is your current self.
- Earthquake: Hopefully this will create the earthquake effect. One of two things will happen. You will find what scientists call: Information Gap Theory. The gap is too wide to bridge and you will simply give up and return to your old behaviors. OR You will have an earthquake in your brain that will cause you to see what you can start doing NOW to get you to where you REALLY want to go in life. The earth quakes, it resettles, some damage is done…and then it stops. You forge new trails and create a plan to achieve/acquire/meet the life you want to live at the “thinking brain” level.
Visualization, New Behaviors & Overcoming Self-Sabotage
You must visualize yourself performing the NEW behaviors that it will take to overcome the self sabotaging emotional brain. This overcoming will ultimately rewire the emotional brain and after six months or one year, the old behaviors will be as foreign to you as the freedom of the outside is to a prisoner!
Note: No matter what anyone tells you – this process of rewiring takes massive EFFORT every day to install these new behaviors. It will take an enormous amount of self-discipline and dramatic planning to overcome the more challenging behaviors of self-sabotage. In addition you can’t simply do this as mental rehearsal and have long term success. You must actually get out and DO those behaviors regardless of inertia. You must begin to link up the behaviors to the thoughts of the thinking brain so you can begin to experience new emotions and feelings about yourself.
Self-sabotage is NOT easy to overcome but this plan works and if you implement it now you will change your life and life the life you dream.
I’ve identified 12 of the life patterns which cause us to trip up – and make the same mistakes again and again. To discover which of the 12 patterns you have been the victim of and how to eliminate self-sabotage in your life see LIFESTORMS: The Paradox of Overcoming Self Sabotage to Achieve Love, Power, Money and Happiness.
Lifestorms: 12 Obstacles to Achievement: The Paradox of Overcoming Self Sabotage to Achieve Love, Power, Money and Happiness.
Discover why life often brings you exactly what you don’t want…and how self sabotage can hide around every corner. Some people have guessed at the bizarre nature of self sabotage. Guess no more. Self sabotage is very real in everyone’s life. It is completely devastating and 100% resolvable!
- Do you ever know you should start on a project but don’t?
- Do you have projects that you have started but never finished?
- Do you ever say the one wrong thing at the wrong time?
- Have you ever had things going well in life only to have everything blow up in a day?
- Have you tried to be so careful not to make a mistake that you were shocked when you made a truly costly one?
- Have you ever promised yourself to stay out of trouble in some way only to find yourself in the same trouble or worse again?
Now you can discover your own life patterns so you can eliminate unconscious self sabotage immediately. This program will break the heavy chains that hold you from your dreams and your goals.
This program is the first program ever made public that shows you how to identify specific self sabotaging behaviors and negative life patterns. Better? You can ultimately erase those life patterns and rewrite new “schemas” into your brain that will allow you to meet your goals and experience fulfilling relationships.
Here is what you will learn:
- How to identify which of the 12 negative life patterns you live.
- How to find the triggers of the lifestorms that you just can’t believe you experience.
- How to change the self sabotage into success, happiness or something productive.
- How to remove almost all obstacles between you and your goals.
- How to understand those around you so you don’t push their buttons.
- How to predict your behavior and that of others.
- How to actually achieve your goals so they are more than just a dream.
No one anywhere has ever put such a program on CD. There is not one person anywhere who can’t utilize every minute of this insightful information. These three CD’s are packed with the most powerful tools for getting past life’s roadblocks and personal sabotage ever imagined. Anyone can utilize this information and I personally guarantee that if you follow the instructions you will not experience self sabotaging behavior anymore. Your goals become reality at speeds faster than you ever imagined.