Quantum Confidence in Tough Decisions and Love
Question: What matters more BIG MASSIVE GIFTS (Cars, diamonds, trips around the world) or daily or almost daily thoughtful things you remembered, you did randomly or on purpose but it looks random?
Friends, your wife, family, the office. No matter what, you want to do cool things. What’s REALLY cool is that there’s a lot of inexpensive stuff you can do in life that don’t cost but a few dollars. Because Quantum means tiny, little, sometimes, way below microscopic! Life is about having faith in the quantum, based on hard research that in “gifts” and some experiences in business it is the small the matters? Not always. I’ll get there next week. But sometimes.
Look, so many gifts costs little or nothing. Quantum to be sure.
Give people a good book that you liked.
I was asked if I wanted to see what may be the worlds oldest, most complete active, Eastern Orthodox Church underground. I was very skeptical such a thing existed in my geographical location but I was wrong.
Total cost? $5
Most people who know me know I am working on a massive book of historical fiction on the beginning of the church. A story of Jesus, his wife, and good friend John the Baptist.
Imagine you and yours are in a Tourist Trap area but instead she says, “hey did you know there is a monastery about an hour from here?” That’s no tourist trap. You will take them there. It costs nothing and it’s a meaningful experience. DO IT. (This is the Rylan Monastery in Eastern Europe
Imagine you are walking around London and your partner asks you, hey you want to see my favorite piece of at in the world? It’s outside. No cost.
“Hey Kev, let’s go in town square with the kids. You can play in the water with them.” (Wroclaw)
That always works with me.
How about just giving a small gift that will trigger positive behaviors in the recipient every day?
I like taking big actions in most aspects of life.
I definitely like giving huge gifts.
But I’ve learned that what matters more is a card, your thoughts framed in a simple 8×11 frame, which will be kept by someone else forever.
If that’s you too, great but did you know that sometimes and often most of the time, people would appreciate the smallest of costs and the coolest of experiences.
Quantum does not mean “BIG.” It means insanely small, super tiny.
I loved it when coaches in baseball and football made BIG CHANGES in spite of possible criticism, threats, jeers and risk of being fired the last three years.
What happened that triggered that list of bad things??
Part 1: Quantum Football
Pete Carroll, Coach of the Seattle Seahawks took more grief for running 4th and 1 in a recent Super Bowl, than almost any decision in sport I’ve ever observed. The thing is he was criticized by idiots. He was criticized by fans and media people. i.e. idiots.
What happened?
I had bet again the Patriots, 2015 Super Bowl. Generally betting against the Patriots is INSANE. The Patriots have made me a lot of money over the years. Today I’m betting against Tom Brady and I’ll probably pay the price (that’s a feeling not a statistical likelihood, but the FEELING IS HUGE).
Back to the Super Bowl 2015…
There’s 1:31 to go in the game and The Patriots were up by 4 (not 3) and I was in the process of losing my investment in the game. (I had the money line bet on the Seahawks) Carroll was on the goal line faced with a 4th down.
I vocalized to my television and said, “my god, don’t think about this, go for it!!” Few people were using any kind of analysis on football games by 2015.
I had.
The decision was made by hundreds of real life, NFL 4th and 1 results and there is only ONE answer: “go for it.” If you go for this you get the touchdown well over half the time. I didn’t know the exact number as Football Analytics was in it’s infancy but I knew if they went for it, they’d likely get it and likely get a touch down. I KNEW he had a 75% chance of WINNING this specific GAME, if he goes for it.
And then went for it and they did not get the TD. They lost. I lost. Damn.
And the football world turned on him like HE was the idiot. And this re-affirmed that people don’t know how to think or calculate either simulations OR probability of success of the play itself (in this case winning).
Since then every time YOU see a 4th and 1 at midfield or closer to scoring, NOW we know that the numbers have been crunched and with rare exceptions, you MUST go for it, 4th and 1 and often 4th and 2.
I’m watching the Baltimore Ravens play last week. Coach Harbaugh, is very smart and takes average teams and make them look better than they are by GREAT coaching decisions.
The Ravens had just scored a touchdown and the Ravens are down by 1 now with one second on the clock. To me and everyone who gets math, you already know you’re very very likely to win the game if you go for the extra point PLAY (run or pass) worth two points, instead of the traditional extra play (kick). I’ll save you the math, the ONLY choice a coach should make in this situation when the game is one second from being over and you can force over time or score far more often than not, is go for it. Baltimore doesn’t succeed, (I do win my bet anyway) they lose and the football fans freak everywhere. You have to make this decision and do it pretty much every time.
I show you these two situations because you need to know that sometimes your little things simply won’t work out and it is NOT YOUR FAULT. Most of the time if you do the correct action you will improve your life dramatically. You can NOT get mad at yourself EVER for making the RIGHT, GOOD, INTELLIGENT decision. You just do it.
The funny thing is these are Quantum Decisions, super tiny decisions, all about one or two yards on a football field. Quantum Decisions in the right context are huge.
Other times you aren’t faced with Quantum Decisions (small) and you have to make HUGE big home run hitting decisions.
I’ll come to a few of these later. First let’s stick in quanta.
Love Quanta
Research into love relationships shows that doing small things, tiny things, every single day for your spouse, your partner, and for those you work for and with at the office are dramatically improved. Yes simple actions every day are more important to quality of a relationship where someone does big things twice a year. In relationships, in general, Daily Quantum Actions are the answer.
Offer to do little things. “Honey would you like to go to the arboretum?”
You’re in yet another place visiting friends that live near tourist traps where you can spend your life savings. “Hey Kev, would you like to visit the medieval church?”
Offer to help with something that takes 20 minutes.
Your spouse wants to have a meet and greet with a girl that has a killer smile.
Bring home flowers.
Bring home at Teddy Bear!
Frame a poem you wrote for your spouse.
Send a handwritten letter to someone you love even if they live in your house and get it POSTMARKED.
Do things that are small for the people you love that others don’t do very often, for those that they love.
Make the bed, especially if you typically don’t.
Set the table if you typically don’t.
One of my favorites is “Hey Kev, would you like to go to hell?”
When something difficult comes up that really makes your spouse nervous is to do it yourself.
One of the things which stops people in their tracks when they come against an obstacle is the lack of self confidence or low self esteem.
Life confidence in relationships can be built when your spouse knows you are there in case they need your support.
Choose not to regret any of the decisions that might not have
worked out for you. That’s prat of making decisions.
Successful people make a LOT of decisions and a LOT of them are wrong.
It makes no difference. (You should upgrade the decision making process
if it’s defective!)
Use the bad decisions, or, the good decisions that turned out bad (NOT the
same thing) as the proverbial stepping stones.
In large part, who you are is the result of your decisions.
They are the reason that you are who you are today.
Look around you at people you see as successful, in what way
are they different to you?
We breathe the same air, we have the same opportunities. Some
of us choose to take them, others choose not to. Where would
you rather be?
Let successful people inspire you> they can achieve great
things and so can you.
What inspires you?
Think about the things that inspire you.
Is it the idea of having fame, acceptance, money, family, inspiration?
Let them continue to be an inspiration to you and be thankful that these
things are there to guide you.
Know that you have the potential to make your dreams come true.
