And she went right back to the course she was getting ready for release, for the month. It would turn out to be one of the most popular courses we ever did, The Professional Speaker Course.
“Kev I’m out of here. I printed out two emails you need to respond to, tonight. They are on the coffee table. Anything you need before I call it a day?”
“Get me up at 9:40 tomorrow. I have a client at 10 and 11:15.”
She wrote it on her hand as she already had her purse and scarf on.
“No prob. I’ll come for you at 9:40.”
I looked up from my computer, exchanged real smiles and she was gone, and I was back to work.
We worked off of raw trust. Before, then, and even today I still propose, “We’ll all take care of each other.” You can predict that sometimes that notion will crash and sometimes it will produce a lifetime connection.
Trust has been and continues to be necessary in my work as is true in yours. She had a key to my house, as did my ex. That was it. I trusted her. I might only see her 30 minutes out of an 8 or 9 hour day. There were no concerns. I work a very long day and don’t have time to distrust the people around me. Energy and time for such a thing is a disaster. Trust emerged through a number of factors.
- Safe environment for someone.
- Consistent arrival time.
- Typically leaves a little late as I’m hitting my second wind for the day.
- Gets my mind just in tune enough to get moving for the day.
- I know she took care of everything she was supposed to. When I checked my email at “lunch time” about 3PM, there were only a few unopened emails. Personal stuff mostly. She left all that alone. A few complicated issues she saved for me to respond to late at night after I had finished all my work for the “day.”
Trust. When she found the man of her dreams to start a family, and she told me they were moving to the west side of the cities, I was ridiculously happy and a little freaked out. How would I find another person I knew it would be hard to find someone like her. Replacing people is easy. Replacing someone you trust and believe in, is very difficult.
The only way to test for trust is to trust the other person. If you don’t trust them, they won’t trust you. If you do trust them, statistically speaking, you probably will regret it later, but you will also be surprised often enough that you won’t lose faith in all of humanity.
If you trust but verify then move to a more sweeping trust to where verification can happen far less often the odds improve.
It begins with being on time, at least that’s what market researchers have discovered.
Every day 8:40. Predictable. I assumed she was “on time” and never saw anything to believe otherwise. I didn’t test her. I trusted her. There was no way to not. I write books, articles, Coffee, courses, programs, events, research, see clients, do teleconsults, and had two kids that were there part time every day.
It made for fascinating and very long days, none of which I regretted. I found what I wanted to do everyday and did it. The schedule would shift over the years depending on parenting related stuff. I felt and feel nothing but fortunate to have lived this specific life.
Predictability is a major predictor of trust.
What I do this month is the best predictor of what I’ll do next month.
When you go through periods of change, the predictor of trusting yourself or others is observing what a person says they will do in 30 days vs. what they actually do in 30 days.
Your clients, customers, and loves need to trust you, to be certain about you, and they need it faster than “trust and verify.”
Some of my favorite forever clients talked with me on day x and became very long term clients on day x + 1.
Trust means that you will watch out for the other person like you watch out for your Self.
That’s the gentle movie. What about strategic trust? That could be devious! It could be ill intended. Or… it could be on purpose with intention and results of intention that prove more than a little good.
Now we turn the page to Strategic Trust…