I had a HUGE AHA moment this week.
The question in the email in reference to a You Tube video I have on Kevin Hogan Channel was roughly, “what technique do I use to clinch the relationship?”
And I haven’t responded to the email yet.
Techniques are specific behaviors that you adopt that can be used in numerous contexts and eventually become part of your personality and habitual way of doing something.
You don’t buy a technique at a store, use it once and go buy it again in a 3 months.
You buy the technique, inject it into the structure of YOU and THEN you will use this technique hundreds of times over the course of life.
A tactic of course is something specific you will do today. It will be generated from various techniques you have have adopted.
For example. You learn the techniques that create the structure of confidence and then tactically use them until they become part of your nature, part of who you are.
The first time you use a new technique it is clunky. You have no real way of guesstimating whether “it” will “work” or not because you’ve never used it.
Lasting confidence is built in the human from hundreds of techniques. Some techniques detract from your confidence and some techniques add to your confidence. Confidence tends to have a wide arc. That means once you feel confidence about X, you often feel confident about Y and Z.
Sometimes this is a good thing! (It depends on what techniques you have adopted into the structure of your behavior.) Remember specific behaviors can be effective in some contexts and a disaster in others.
Power and confidence are overlapping qualities. On average they work in tandem and are generally found in close proximity to each other. Sometimes they overlap completely where confidence is power or power is confidence.
Power is about movement, action, acquisition, completion, targeting, potential and concentration of effort.
Confidence is the certainty you feel that you are competent and capable to accomplish something, general or specific.
Power in part is about solving problems and then solving the problems that the solutions will cause.
Anyone can solve a problem. After all, on average, trial and error will get to the answer if everything else fails.
Being able to solve a problem and the problem the solution causes is another matter altogether.
Each time you succeed you build confidence in yourself. Unfortunately both the confidence and the success can be very short term. Solving big problems doesn’t create long term success. It’s a puzzle piece. It’s an important puzzle piece!
Solving problems, no matter how big they are, is related to SHORT term success and TYPICALLY causes future LONG term problems. If you don’t solve the SHORT term problem you often lose it all, but to solve a problem and forget about it?
Legend Point: One of the most amazing hidden facts of life is that solving big problems often causes other problems.
Some relatively easy examples:
Hypothetical Situation: Countries that have starving masses might get donations of food to feed the people. People now live longer but the environmental and weather conditions stay the same. With far more people living yet another food shortage occurs…a direct cause of saving lives and improving a nation.
Real life situation: Legislate the company to reduce pollutants and invest in environmentally friendly manufacturing processes. Makes the world cleaner. A very good thing. For each $1,000,000 in expense you have to fire roughly 15 employees.
Real life: Stay home and spend more time with kids. They are safer and have a better living environment. A good thing. When they go to college you can’t help them…probably not at all as there was no money earned or saved.
Real life reverse: Two parents both work and put away money for children’s education. Money is there come college but the kids have not fared as well as the parents wished and don’t qualify to go to University.
Real life life or death: Using antibiotics saves millions of lives and extends life when fighting bacterial infections. The long term problem caused by this? Millions and millions of people are becoming immune to antibiotics to the point where eventually they will not work…and people will simply die of the same things they would have died from 75 year ago.
…worse? Bacterial illnesses like staph infections and MRSA are deadly and people die all because they (and others) used antibiotics liberally over the course of the last 50 years.
Real life in detail: The development of the Social Security system (completely taking care of those over 65 at taxpayer expense) was a welcome solution to an enormous problem 60 years ago. By taking taxpayer money and establishing this program, we helped millions of people live a much more comfortable life than would have been possible. Countless millions were precluded from living on the streets and becoming homeless. 10 working people could easily share the burden of supporting a modest but sustainable living for the elderly across the nation through the FICA tax.
Today there is a new problem caused by the old solution. It now takes 5 people now support the non-working elderly person and the system is 100% broke. There are ZERO dollars in the “fund.” And, the government isn’t taxing people who work to take care of those who don’t at a higher rate. This puts an unbearable stress on our children and grandchildren, who in just 20 years, when your child or grandchild is working…will need to pay 40% of their NET income… over and above their current income tax and FICA…why? Because only 2-3 workers will support the elderly person who doesn’t work.
Why? Simple. Their will be 1/2 as many workers. Twice as many non-workers. You can do the math. It isn’t rocket science. By 2033, the Social Security Trust Fund will have depleted the remainder of its extra cash, and benefits will have to be slashed by 23% (assuming Congress makes no changes to the program) so that eligible beneficiaries can continue to receive payments.
That will cause a generational rift of unimaginable problems in the United States. The young and the old will be at war. The old will feel entitled to “their money.” (There is no such money.) The young will believe that their money is theirs to keep. And even by paying over 50% of net income in taxes, the “system” will still be broke.
There are no plans in place to solve this growing crisis because what politician wants to tell you and me what is really happening? Not a one.
Even if we were able to pay our past debts of the past as a nation, we would still go bankrupt. And, there is palatable solution. (The only workable solution will be to keep the benefit at about 1/2 of the current payouts and only double the tax on workers. You think the baby boomers will vote for that option? No. They will vote for the candidate who will bankrupt the nation. Or they will continue to work well into their 70s and the system will need to adjust to only pay out when they turn 75. If they don’t take care of their health, or are unlucky in that respect, they may be dead before they can draw on their funds.
The Confident Person
Solving old problems causes new problems.
The problems we had were significant and the solutions did work. But as you can see bigger problems ultimately emerge.This is true in MOST cases where we solve problems.
The confident individual will develop plans and then implement them to double their annual income and invest enormous amounts of money over the next 20 years.
How to Build Confidence
The way to build confidence is to get good at solving problems and the long term problems that will stem from the short term solutions. It’s rare that you can do both at the same time but you can prepare for the follow up bigger problems by devising plans now.
This kind of thinking breeds unyielding self confidence.
As you go about solving life’s problems and making decisions, you want to figure out the worst case scenarios of your decisions. To simply attack and move “forward” without looking at all the other options and dealing with them in advance is a recipe for short and long term disasters.
Short term success and effective problem solving also has other very negative ramifications if they aren’t prepared for.
Imagine the employee who is so good at their job…so efficient…so skilled.
As business evolves, they will do anything they can to keep their current “job” and not begin training to do something else…or several other things. They don’t want to hear about innovation. They don’t want anything new coming into the picture. They want to stick with what they know. And what was once confidence in the self is now confidence standing in quick sand. It will disappear very soon when their job is no longer important.
A website designer in 1995 could earn 50-100 dollars per hour. In 2019 they can earn 15-20 dollars hour as there are now templates that do the job of the website designer. The value decreased as the skills became more accessible to more people. Those few who evolved to other applications related to web marketing can still command higher pay. Most cannot, because, they got good at what they were doing and forgot about next year.
Confidence in yourself can be grounded in cement or it can be grounded in quicksand. When you succeed today or tomorrow you start to develop self confidence. When you succeed for one year you maintain your self confidence at whatever it is you are good at.
But if you stop here, you have built a house of cards. Anyone can be confident when winning. It’s when you prepare to lose that you truly succeed.
You can be great today but if you rely on only one source of income or anything, you will not develop not true confidence but an illusion. Lasting confidence is when you accomplish today and prepare for tomorrow’s problem and have the solution developed for that problem as well.
Then you have true confidence that will not be shaken. You will succeed long term because you have planned ahead of time and not simply “gotten good” at one specific skill or orientation.
I’ve identified 12 of the life patterns which cause us to trip up – and make the same mistakes again and again. To discover which of the 12 patterns you have been the victim of and how to eliminate self-sabotage in your life (or those of your clients) you can pick up the CD program and workbook, LIFESTORMS: The Paradox of Overcoming Self Sabotage to Achieve Love, Power, Money and Happiness.
Lifestorms: 12 Obstacles to Achievement: The Paradox of Overcoming Self Sabotage to Achieve Love, Power, Money and Happiness.
by Kevin Hogan
Discover why life often brings you exactly what you don’t want…and how self sabotage can hide around every corner. Some people have guessed at the bizarre nature of self sabotage. Guess no more. Self sabotage is very real in everyone’s life. It is completely devastating and 100% resolvable!
- Do you ever know you should start on a project but don’t?
- Do you have projects that you have started but never finished?
- Do you ever say the one wrong thing at the wrong time?
- Have you ever had things going well in life only to have everything blow up in a day?
- Have you tried to be so careful not to make a mistake that you were shocked when you made a truly costly one?
- Have you ever promised yourself to stay out of trouble in some way only to find yourself in the same trouble or worse again?
Now you can discover your own life patterns so you can eliminate unconscious self sabotage immediately. This program will break the heavy chains that hold you from your dreams and your goals.
This program is the first program ever made public that shows you how to identify specific self sabotaging behaviors and negative life patterns. Better? You can ultimately erase those life patterns and rewrite new “schemas” into your brain that will allow you to meet your goals and experience fulfilling relationships.
Here is what you will learn:
- How to identify which of the 12 negative life patterns you live.
- How to find the triggers of the lifestorms that you just can’t believe you experience.
- How to change the self sabotage into success, happiness or something productive.
- How to remove almost all obstacles between you and your goals.
- How to understand those around you so you don’t push their buttons.
- How to predict your behavior and that of others.
- How to actually achieve your goals so they are more than just a dream.
No one anywhere has ever put such a program on CD. There is not one person anywhere who can’t utilize every minute of this insightful information. These three CD’s are packed with the most powerful tools for getting past life’s roadblocks and personal sabotage ever imagined. Anyone can utilize this information and I personally guarantee that if you follow the instructions you will not experience self sabotaging behavior anymore. Your goals become reality at speeds faster than you ever imagined.