2021 Guide to Changing Habits

There are a dozen articles about habit change on this website. The content remains all valid and reliable. This new series is not a supplement but an upgraded approach to habit change. No politically correct nonsense. Here’s a taste of what I have for you today.

1. You’re going to see how money as a reward or threat of losing what you have can be used as a viable tool of habit change.

2. Too fat is not good and in fact kills as we’ve seen with covid. Let the politically active talk all they want about “loving your body.” Here you get real. Use applied science to get results. 3. Not having enough money is madness. Living off the government in some socialistic scheme is a recipe for disaster. Here you get real on what triggers habits and what causes them to STICK. 4. Cigarettes kill people and often in masse. This is not a series about stopping smoking. It is about the science and APPLICATION in YOUR LIFE to habit change. This series is not a clinic being given on specific habits though we will use examples related to smoking cessation, weight loss, using money as an instrument of leverage and on and on, all from reams of cutting edge research about habit change. There are dozens of bad habits people have and there are dozens more you need.

Some other Habits People Have

• Act like a jerk to loved ones.
• Absolute laziness.
• Not getting important things done every single day.
• Behavior unbecoming of a human being.
• Political Thinking (We/They mentality)

Some Habits People MUST Develop

• Listening and caring about the concerns of others.
• Critical thinking that finds accurate information and living accordingly.
• Parenting to raised independent, thinking, caring children.
• Making decisions that help you and others at the same time.

If it hasn’t become blatantly obvious over reading the hundreds of articles on this website, persuasion and influence skills come into full force in changing habits with others and for your Self. Changing habits is never easy. People tell you it is. They lie about other things as well.

You’ll find out exactly why in just a minute. Finally, before we begin, everyone has bad habits and most people have a lot of bad habits. Old habits like smoking cigarettes, drinking too much, eating too much, being unproductive, etc.  are tough to change.  Good news? People can and do change, even if the changes take a long time. Let’s look at what I consider to be FAST cultural change. In 1965, 42.6% of American adults smoked cigarettes. Today, 13.7% of American adults smoke cigarettes. That’s light speed.

A nation of people didn’t need an organization or government or coalition to get them to stop smoking. This is about cultural change to the tune of MILLIONS of people. In just over 40 years the U.S. is largely a non-cigarette nation. They didn’t attend Cigarette’s Anonymous. They didn’t have to join a cult or demonstrate in public for change. They changed by helping themselves and those they love. But there’s more. The height of teenagers (13-17) smoking was 1997 when a whopping 36% smoked regularly.

Today, 8.5% of teens smoke cigarettes. In just 20 years cigarette smoking has been largely eradicated by teenagers as a national culture. 20 years and the cultural change in the United States shifted dramatically. To be sure, E cigarettes may be influencing the reduction of cigarette smoking. The government policies toward marijuana in the 90’s probably increased the massive cigarette consumption of the day, but clearly people are smoking fewer packs of cigarettes in the U.S., today in 2021.

Of course some of those numbers in fewer smokers happened because people died over time who smoked and perhaps their kids didn’t want their parents fate to be theirs. But that would only account for a portion of this dramatic change of habit in a society like the U.S. What happened to life expectancy in the U.S.? If someone was born in 1950 they could expect to live to 68. Born in 2000? They can expect to live to 77. Change happens because habits can be changed.

But the results could be even better. How DOES one get people to change habits which are arguably bad for them, or, simply do stuff that is BETTER for them? Smoking cigarettes often helps curb appetite and when people smoke they look in the mirror and see a skinnier self, because it’s true. The price of stopping smoking in the U.S. was eating more. When people are used to putting something in their mouth all day, you can bet THAT will continue for a long, long time. Instead of sticking cigarettes in their mouths those who stopped smoking changed that habit.

But habits are notoriously difficult to stick if they aren’t replaced with something OR rewarded by something very valuable. Habits can change from good to bad at a rate similar as bad to good. In the early 1960’s the average American man weighed 166 pounds.

Today he weighs 196 pounds.  American women have gained a lot of weight too. And it’s also constructive to know that over-eating is not a disease. It’s a choice.

Over in Asia the woman of 2020 weighs 127 pounds. In Europe she weighs 156 and in America she comes in at 177 pounds. That means in 2020, three Asian women weigh the same as 2 American women. Choices You and I have choices.

What happens when someone tries to change from X to Y, whatever the change.

Someone who has been doing something habitual for 21 years is asked to make a change in 21 days. What’s real? That habit of 21 years has Billions of neural connections supporting it, making it all but an unconscious and AUTOMATIC behavior.

In other words, the brain is literally wired to do the age old habit X. Someone comes along and says you can change it in 21 days. The fact is that you CAN get a start in that direction, changing a habit in 21 days, but you can’t change BILLIONS of neural connections in 21 days. Even if you could somehow knock out 1000 connections per day it would take a million YEARS to “change the habit” in the brain where the habit is locked in.

Yet women in Europe weigh 156 pounds, 127 pounds in Asia and cigarette smoking has been cut by 2/3 in the last 50 years in America. As you would guess Asians outlive Americans by a longshot, largely because of their choice to not overeat. Habits do change, choices are made. The difference between continents and nations is fascinating, as is the difference over time as far as weight and cigarettes are concerned.

Culture and through time are both important in societal changes but what about you and the people you deal with. Knocking out old habit tracks from the brain is very, very difficult and requires time. In fact, the notion of “eliminating old habits” really means creating atrophy for those billions of connections In the brain and it’s not going to happen. That means you will now forge NEW connections with thousands then millions of new highways in the brain.

That doesn’t mean that the old highway system will disappear in 21 days or 21 years. Wiring does atrophy with time in general but causing highways to atrophy is quite the specialization. How can you get people who have failed at everything to actually succeed at changing difficult to change habits? Enter Money

Money means something to almost everyone. Money is something you can ethically use in behavioral research. You can’t use sex, chocolate and other stuff. You have to guess if chocolate and sex are more effective or less effective than money in changing a habit. (And you can guess that sex and chocolate go a long way in changing habits.)

Money is often stronger than the “pull” of billions or neural pathways wired together in the brain. One study in the Netherlands in 2019 was set up like this: Two groups would get 7 week smoking cessation program weekly for 90 minutes. Group Two of the two also got an incentive of 50 Euros at the end of the 7 week program if they were tobacco free. Then again at 6 and 9 months and finally 200 Euros after 12 months if tobacco free.

Group One yielded a 26% smoking cessation rate. (That’s pretty impressive at the one year level btw) Group + Money yielded at 41% smoking cessation rate. 350 Euros for one years worth of cigarettes brought a tobacco free result.  In the research biz that is a HUGE difference. (The net result for companies is that they get fewer sick days used by employees, lower insurance costs and other net/net that make programs like this a no brainer at a corporate level) As you might have guessed the six month numbers for the control group were very similar but it was 46% tobacco free at 6 months and 41% at 12 months.

So quite a few people dropped that final six months even though they would have received MORE money in the second half but would have had to WAIT another few months to get the bigger reward. 350 Euros is $400 and $400 bought a tobacco free result at 1 year in 41% of people.

Change the context. A big study, way too big and broad for a full discussion here today. This massive study compared small group (6 people) vs. individual results with two different kind of reward structures. Some people were assigned to “deposit-based programs” and some were based on straight reward programs. Deposit programs are a very interesting creation where the individual has to put in $150 of his own money (in the case I will show you here) with the promise of getting it back and an additional $650 reward if he stays tobacco free.The first thing these researchers found was 90% assigned to the reward of $800 took the offer but only 13% of those who were offered $650 for their own $150 (deposit which they lose if they don’t stay tobacco free) took on a part in the study. 13.7% of those in groups vs. 12.1% of those individuals made it a year and got their $800 Far MORE than twice as many in the deposit groups were abstinent at one year but because such a tiny number of people accepted the deposit offer, researchers considered this to be less valuable, and in fact that is true in this context, but imagine if you could triple a client’s success rate at some OTHER HABIT by having “skin in the game”? Want continuous compliance? Get people to put SKIN IN THE GAME.

“In standard per-protocol analyses, 52.3% of those who accepted deposits versus 17.1% of those who accepted rewards had sustained abstinence through 6 months (P<0.001), and similarly large differences were observed at all time points” https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1414293 STOP HALF of people who were awarded with $650 of the researchers dollars plus $150 of their own dollars being returned stopped smoking. 1/6 of those who were awarded $200 at 2 week, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year were tobacco free.

Both situations the amount of money was $800. The difference was nothing short of. Skin in the Game… dramatic.

It’s not necessarily pretty, it just works. Staggered rewards over time. In February, I was in Santiago, Chile. I was shopping and didn’t realize that I needed to pay for a plastic bag to put the groceries in. Each one was about 25 cents.

I hate plastic bags as they are hard to carry though these were better than a lot I get in the states. But more interesting was that you can buy your own cloth grocery bags. Price: 100 RCP (100 Chilean Peso’s = $1.25) I grabbed a couple of them. I learned that you could bring them back and use them forever.

I also walk two blocks and didn’t see myself (or anyone else in this upscale neighborhood  carrying plastic or cloth bags to the store. When I’d go shopping with Bianca I always bought new cloth bags. “You are throwing money away.” “I’m buying a bag.” “Bring it with you next time.” I knew that wasn’t going to happen and ALMOST said, “why don’t you?” but that would have been silly and I’ve learned that lesson over time.

In Europe, I’ve observed that people hate spending that money for a grocery bag. You already have one or two at home! IT FEELS like a waste of money to buy more at the store, again and again and again. A LOT of people brought in their own bags they had used before. For me it was about convenience to get the bags at the store each time we’d go.

For most people it was about losing the money to pay for the bag. They simply didn’t want to lose that money. One metaprogram I discovered 25 years ago was the Cost/Convenience Metaprogram. (See Mind Access) Some people will do that which is cheapest. Others will do that which is convenient. All contextual and all predictable. Money, allocated WISELY can be a valuable tool in creating habit change and increasing performance.

Dividing rewards up over time is generally more effective than offering a reward at the end of a long period, say one year, for example. Another tool for habit change is PRECISE LANGUAGE. A couple of years ago at Influence: Boot Camp in Las Vegas, I explained at dinner one night with VIP’s that I don’t eat pork, shrimp, crab or any other animals that fell into those categories. Someone asked, “why, are you Jewish?” Their guess was in the ballpark but I don’t like the conversation as I’ve had it so many times since I was a kid. (It goes like this so you don’t have to ask later) It’s about the Bible. It’s not “important to me,” it is who I am.  Some Jews follow the principles/laws in the Bible.

Many others don’t. I’m not Jewish per se and the birth of Jesus was very important to me, though I’m not really a Christian or part of any other organized religion. Long story short, I don’t eat “unclean meats,” and that means no pork, shellfish and a host of other stuff. After my explanation, however brief the conversation invariably goes like this, next… “You don’t know what you’re missing, Kev.” “Ah, I don’t care. I’m good to go, thanks.”

See, it’s the word, “DON’T” I said, “Look at Scott and Brian, they don’t drink. It’s not that they can’t, they are humanly capable of drinking alcohol, but it’s not going to happen.” That got the attention off me. “Scott, you ever gonna drink wine?” “Huh? I don’t do wine.” I have a sip of my wine. “Brian?” He laughs. “No Kev.” I told our small group, if you want to get what you want use the few words that actually do matter and DON’T is one of those words. “Look, if you ever hear anyone say, “I can’t do that, it’s not on my diet (for example),” they’ll do it. I promise.

That got everyone thinking. “Can’t just means you didn’t do it yesterday but you have already given yourself permission for today or tomorrow.” You want a habit that will stick? “DON’T choose otherwise, ever.” Part TWO next week.