Stress is a big part of generating a successful and happy life.
Stress is also paradoxically a big part of reducing life satisfaction. Stress causes you to perform better and be better in general. Too much stress if, interpreted as unhealthy, can be very unhealthy. What research just released tells us is that the opposite is also true!
I’m not even approaching the notion to live a stress free life. That exists six feet below the surface.
Begin here: If you (or someone you care about) gets stressed out every time something doesn’t go your way, you will find it tough to get what you want out of life. You need to fail every day…a few times each day. Failing can’t be stressful. It has to be anticipated.
Men and Women Respond to Stress Differently
WOMEN are generally overwhelmed when experiencing too much stress. They begin to look for emotional cues in others.
MEN tend to be driven by stress, generally excluding external cues and focus solely on the task at hand.
On average when a man and woman are stressed at the same time, they are not on two different pages….they are in different books, on different shelves, in different houses.
Know who you are and how you react under stress and duress.
Difficult experiences are something to be anticipated.
The higher you go on the success ladder, the more challenging the obstacles become.
No one bothers anyone else at the bottom of the pyramid….
So prepare now psychologically for challenges at every level.
For every day overwhelm, it is worth learning self-hypnosis for a quick five-minute break every day. Although I prefer a 20-minute power nap, (That means my face is in a pillow and my mind is empty…) you might prefer to spend time every day doing a brief and simple relaxation exercise in order to learn how to control stress better.
If you’re doing 12-14 or so hours each day, don’t let anyone make you feel bad for taking a 20-minute nap. Learn how to navigate and work with stress.
Remember, if you get stressed out every time something doesn’t go your way, it will make it very difficult for you to achieve…in fact, it’s not possible.
Do Not Let Fear Control Your Life…
There’s nothing special about emotions. They are reactions to your environment triggering your past life experiences. That’s it.
Fear is one of those reactions. Every now and then fear actually is a logical feeling/emotion to experience.
Far more often, fear is a junk emotion that is plugged in through experiences and even genetic gunk.
When you feel fear coming on, ask yourself is this a RATIONAL fear?
If you see a rattle snake or a coral snake slither four feet in front of you the amygdala will kick in a body full of cortisol that is very RATIONAL for you to have in that moment.
If you get a “feeling” or a “hunch” or an “instinct” about someone and you “can’t quite put your finger on it”, good or bad, fear or love, WHATEVER…grow up and EVALUATE the situation.
If it is not LOGICAL to be experiencing fear, then the chances are incredibly high that the fear is unwarranted.
Don’t expect the fear to “go away” because you know it’s not necessary. It won’t.
Determining a specific fear is irrational, will help you act rationally in moments you would have followed “your gut” and done something incredibly stupid.
Tell yourself to MOVE THROUGH IT and get on with life. Then, the most important thing to do is to MOVE THROUGH IT NOW.
Fear is more often than not an obstacle to reaching your goals.
It can stop you from achievement by making you afraid to take the next step. Do not let it control you.
Your body by default MUST pump in fear chemicals when something UNKNOWN and UNFAMILIAR is about to be experienced.
That is how Cave Mom and Cave Dad survived.
However, there aren’t as many tigers as there used to be in your neighborhood. There are far fewer creatures in general, that are ready to pounce on you for the kill today.
So realize that sometimes when you “fear”, you are experiencing Cave Dad fear and not “real” fear.
You control fear if you determine that there is or is not something that needs to be feared.
For the FOURTH tactic on how to regain control in your life…
Accept Your Growing Self And Realize Your Uniqueness
If you’re like many other people, you try to please others, sometimes with the intention of being accepted.
I respect that. It’s a smart and logical thing to do. I do the same thing. My career is in large part, about giving people what they want and need.
There are lots of people who intentionally try to displease other people. That I don’t respect. Look at this life filter as not being necessary. Here’s your new filter. Determine what is most efficacious long-term, for your life.
If making someone happy is efficacious for your long-term happiness or wealth, then do it.
But if making someone happy comes at the cost of your own long-term happiness or wealth then DON’T do it.
Just because society WANTS you to conform to all their rules doesn’t mean you have to. It’s at this point where you make some decisions about your self.
If you move too far away from who you are today, as your “self” that will make you uncomfortable.
If you do this because you are evolving in some way, that discomfort is good. You have left your comfort zone on purpose and for good reason.
If you’re leaving your zone because society/community/church/job is pressuring you to feel badly about BEING YOU and that feeling is unwarranted, then screw the society, community, church or job.
How do you know what the line is?
Can I suggest that you do no harm to others?
Take other people’s feelings into consideration and still take care of yourself. You just need to find the right line and if person or group X doesn’t like you, so be it. There are lots of people and groups out there.
By being yourself, you are allowing yourself to be empowered. This will help you in every aspect of your life.
Do understand that “being yourself” is not an excuse to letting yourself hang out foolishly in every situation.
And “yourself” is something that you probably want to change various aspects of, at least I hope you do!
But in general, “being yourself” with the given caveats is a very healthy thing to do.
You deserve to develop your potential and be your Best Self. The person YOU CHOOSE to be.
To discover how to get to know your Self…