Option attachment is the phenomenon where the DECLINED CHOICE grows MORE DESIRABLE after you have chosen something else.
Imagine you’ve put a great detail of thought, careful comparison and tons of homework into a big decision.
You finally decide to choose X instead of Y. You experience relief. But then something happens that might change the course of your future with your decision.
You signed the purchase agreement on the house. As soon as you put the offer down on the new house, two things happen simultaneously in your brain. You begin to have competing thoughts about your agreement.
The first results in the behavior of justification. Over and over you prove to yourself all the reasons for picking this house above all others was the right choice.
The second line of thinking you experience is a paradoxical response. It nags you. You instantly question your sanity about your decision.
What’s interesting is that you are not likely to actually tell anyone about these feelings. They will think you are nuts if you have just bought an expensive house and then 8 hours later you’re wondering if you aren’t just crazy for making the decision.
What you don’t know is that everyone is just like you when it comes to complex or difficult decisions where you have pitted A against B or X against Y. You carefully analyzed, contrasted, compared, made your decision and then you feel this!
Unfortunately, the nagging after-thoughts typically don’t go away. In some cases it will stay for years or the rest of of your life! Today you find out how (and why) these things will dramatically reduce your income, screw up your relationships and cause you to experience all kinds of problems if you continue as you have.
When influencing others, you need to know how to stop others from feeling remorse, regret and this bizarre thing called Option Attachment.
Your goal? Keep the relationship, make a customer or client evangelical, and cause people to be ecstatic that they have said “yes” to you.
There she is.
She has a choice between two good options. This is what Option Attachment is all about. Things aren’t always as easy as competing against an obviously poor choice.
The girl has a couple of guys very interested and she’s ready to commit to someone. She’s been on the fence long enough.
Guy #1 is attractive. Quiet. Not that sharp. Not an idiot. Goes hunting and fishing whenever he can. Plays pool out of season. Knows a lot of people especially from the bar and hunting. Average income. Doesn’t spend a lot of time at the house. Survives the job.
She thinks if she “picks” him, she’ll have time for herself, time with her girlfriends, and probably only an occasional party at the house with all of his friends over. Not a bad deal. And the freedom will be nice. Perhaps ideal. The lack of income will be a drawback but so what. It’s not like he hates his job.
Guy #2 is also attractive. Sharp as a tack. Doesn’t go play with boys. He has a few close friends that come over to the house fairly regularly. He likes to be at home. Has a high income. Likes his work.
She thinks that means he’ll be home with her a lot. They’d spend lots of time together. They’d have lots of time to get to know each other. There would be plenty of time for playing, talking, and so on. Nice not have to worry about money. Just able to have no major stress is very good and he actually likes his work.
What does she do? And what happens to her FEELINGS about her decision and the good guy she leaves behind? Now she thinks her choice was not so good. Now the guy seems like a jerk.
She ponders the dilemma every day for weeks. Months. No matter who she chooses, one thing is certain, although she is currently oblivious to this fact: As soon as she chooses, the OTHER guy will appear to be a MUCH better choice than he appeared just days ago!
You’d think that she’d feel GOOD about her decision. Relieved. Happy. Comfortable.
What’s just happened?
She’s made her decision. Does she feel good about it?
The answer will surprise you…
Turn the page here…