A number of bad things can happen after they say “yes.”
They brought it home. They liked it. And yet, they brought it back the next day, canceled the order, canceled the date … the words ring out … “I changed my mind…”
Who knows, maybe it was YOU they brought home, canceled and you were the recipient of those words.
The First “Reason” Given is “Regret”
Everyone knows about regret. We’ve talked about it 10 times in the last decade here at KevinHogan.com.
“Geez I shouldn’t have bought the jewelry. I could have used that money for school or have given it to the kids as a gift. I’ll take it back in the morning.”
The husband thinks she is absolutely nuts. In fact, he KNOWS she is. There’s no way they can afford jewelry when the kids don’t even have clothes that fit for school!
The problem, of course, is that the wife didn’t actually buy the jewelry. It was her body, her signature, her mouth – from which the words, “I’ll take it!” were heard … but it really was a “part” of her nonconscious self that said, “yes.” That part of her could have had any set of motives for buying the jewelry.
Perhaps she felt like it made her look more attractive and she wanted to draw her husband’s attention. Or perhaps she has been upset with her husband and this part of her nonconscious self wanted to draw a different man into her life.
Perhaps it was a part of her that decided that she deserved the jewelry and this was her way of showing appreciation to her Self.
All of these are partial and likely scenarios.
This is why most people need guards … sentries … to protect themselves … from themselves.
But, she got home and a different part of her, perhaps the Mother or Wife part kicked into drive realizing that this was indeed foolish and she instantly regretted the purchase as soon as she WALKED IN THE DOOR.
That’s usually all it takes to trigger a different part to the control panel in the nonconscious brain.
A change of environment. A change of context. A change of WHO is in the environment. Any of these things can bring a different part of the nonconscious brain into the forefront and today, that part FEELS REGRET.
The part that bought the jewelry … feels no different than 3 hours ago when the woman was at the counter. This part would do it all again. Nothing has changed.
But, regret is now the experience.
In order to preclude regret in advance one needs to gain confirmation from many parts of the nonconscious. It requires a simple but carefully honed strategy.
But this isn’t the only thing that can “go wrong” for you when you have asked someone else to make a decision.
Option Attachment: Decision Purgatory
This is different. Very different.
Here you presented options to someone and after they chose “A” they now have decided that “B” is better. “B” could be something you have, or who you are. “B” could also be the other guy, the other product.
You have almost complete control over precluding this problem.
Today we understand the psychological principle of Option Attachment more thoroughly than ever in history. And this mysterious experience that all of your clients and customers feel … is something that you can take charge of.
The guy at the computer is smiling but the girl with the coffee is all eyes on the gentleman you don’t see.
Here’s how that happens and what you have to do about it…
Option attachment is the phenomenon where the DECLINED CHOICE grows MORE DESIRABLE after you have chosen something else.
Scenario 1
Imagine you’ve put a great detail of thought, careful comparison and tons of homework into a big decision.
You finally decide to choose X instead of Y. You experience relief. But then something happens that might change the course of your future with your decision.
You signed the purchase agreement on the house. As soon as you put the offer down on the new house, two things happen simultaneously in your brain. You begin to have competing thoughts about your agreement.
The first results in the behavior of justification. Over and over you prove to yourself all the reasons for picking this house above all others was the right choice.
The second line of thinking you experience is a paradoxical response. It nags you. You instantly question your sanity about your decision.
What’s interesting is that you are not likely to actually tell anyone about these feelings. They will think you are nuts if you have just bought an expensive house and then 8 hours later you’re wondering if you aren’t just crazy for making the decision.
What you don’t know is that everyone is just like you when it comes to complex or difficult decisions where you have pitted A against B or X against Y. You carefully analyzed, contrasted, compared, made your decision and then you feel this!
Unfortunately, the nagging after-thoughts typically don’t go away. In some cases it will stay for years or the rest of of your life! Today you find out how (and why) these things will dramatically reduce your income, screw up your relationships and cause you to experience all kinds of problems if you continue as you have.
When influencing others, you need to know how to stop others from feeling remorse, regret and this bizarre thing called Option Attachment.
Your goal? Keep the relationship, make a customer or client evangelical, and cause people to be ecstatic that they have said “yes” to you.
Scenario 2
There she is.
She has a choice between two good options. This is what Option Attachment is all about. Things aren’t always as easy as competing against an obviously poor choice.
The girl has a couple of guys very interested and she’s ready to commit to someone. She’s been on the fence long enough.
Guy #1 is attractive. Quiet. Not that sharp. Not an idiot. Goes hunting and fishing whenever he can. Plays pool out of season. Knows a lot of people especially from the bar and hunting. Average income. Doesn’t spend a lot of time at the house. Survives the job.
She thinks if she “picks” him, she’ll have time for herself, time with her girlfriends, and probably only an occasional party at the house with all of his friends over. Not a bad deal. And the freedom will be nice. Perhaps ideal. The lack of income will be a drawback but so what. It’s not like he hates his job.
Guy #2 is also attractive. Sharp as a tack. Doesn’t go play with boys. He has a few close friends that come over to the house fairly regularly. He likes to be at home. Has a high income. Likes his work.
She thinks that means he’ll be home with her a lot. They’d spend lots of time together. They’d have lots of time to get to know each other. There would be plenty of time for playing, talking, and so on. Nice not have to worry about money. Just able to have no major stress is very good and he actually likes his work.
What does she do? And what happens to her FEELINGS about her decision and the good guy she leaves behind? Now she thinks her choice was not so good. Now the guy seems like a jerk.
She ponders the dilemma every day for weeks. Months. No matter who she chooses, one thing is certain, although she is currently oblivious to this fact: As soon as she chooses, the OTHER guy will appear to be a MUCH better choice than he appeared just days ago!
You’d think that she’d feel GOOD about her decision. Relieved. Happy. Comfortable.
Nope.
What’s just happened?
She’s made her decision. Does she feel good about it?
The answer will surprise you…
The opposite is the case. She’s torn inside. She thought she’d feel relieved. Externally, her behavior may be the same. The projection of certainty about the decision that has been made. Internally, it’s an entirely different story.
And this is what happens with your customers when they think about your product or service.
You’ve never been shown this information by anyone anywhere in the world of psychology, marketing or sales. So I will.
Of course, you’ll want to observe carefully to learn how to overcome it!
She has FINALLY made a choice, and now she feels that the guy she turned away was actually BETTER than she ever thought.
Ugh!
Option Attachment has set in.
Think about this sentence: Your customer who thinks too long will feel that CHOOSING IS LOSING!
To some degree that is true. It’s human nature to want as many choices as possible. It’s human nature to not want to have choices taken away from us as they limit our freedom to choose! Therefore when whittling a myriad of choices down to ONE choice the person can hardly feel anything other than loss.
Not a good thing.
This Post Choice Option Attachment is NOT the same as buyer’s remorse OR even regret. (I’ll come back to this later.)
No matter WHAT the outcome of the choice, the woman (even if her guy is nice, treats her well, she likes him and vice versa … and so on) the OTHER guy looks better than he did immediately before making the choice.
This is true in buying cars, making investments and just about everything else in life. The reduction of choices that were experienced is the same as losing freedom.
And you can imagine the trouble that can come …
The woman has, for months, thought and thought about her decision. And this is indeed one of the core elements of the problem. The more someone has possessed something in their mind (imagination) or in real life (an actual external physical experience) the more they will be feel disappointed when they realize they have let that other option go.
The woman is now imagining the guy she dumped as far more attractive than she ever thought! Her emotional response, her feelings inside, are proving to her that she may have made a mistake!
Oh boy …
And just what is this feeling she feels?
Loss.
She feels loss because she possessed both internally for a great deal of time. Think of the feeling you get when someone you love dies or a pet dies. It’s in that arena.
Research studies show that it doesn’t make that much difference as to whether our woman friend has imagined these two relationships in detail or experienced them both. When she chooses Guy #1, Guy #2 becomes more valuable in her mind.
It makes no difference whether any of this is logical or not. Obviously (?) she isn’t going to end up with both guys. And remember, the guy she chose turns out to be a good choice!
But it doesn’t matter. The other guy still looks much better than he ever did because she owned him in her mind and maybe in reality for MONTHS.
Now she has lost him because of her decision.
Her feelings today reveal that her other guy option was better than she had thought. And it’s “proven” by her feelings.
The other factor in the potency of the disappointment and feeling of loss?
The degree to which she was attached to the other guy in her mind in the deliberation stage of her decision.
The scenario above is one that makes it easy to understand the concept of Option Attachment and sheds great light on some facts that you must know to retain customers and make decisions easier for your prospective customers.
What follows are some ways you become in-charge of their Option Attachment.
To fix this problem:
- Do not allow time for your customer to develop a sense of attachment or ownership in the deliberation stage. The deliberation should be fast. The sense of loss will happen if you don’t.
- If you must explore more than one option with your client, then rapidly move the client from the option that is the poorer choice to the option that is the better choice. Do NOT let the person begin to feel a sense of connection with an option that they will not ultimately get. Discuss an option then make it obvious why it needs to be dismissed … and dismiss it.
Of course, there is much more about Option Attachment that costs you thousands of dollars per year in business … and yes … in the coming months I’ll have much more to share with you about Option Attachment … and how it will impact you!
Time Matters
For now you can see why time matters when proposing or presenting. The longer apples is compared to oranges, the more viable both options are. The more viable both options are, the more likely the person will have experienced ownership in their mind. The longer they have experienced ownership in their mind, the greater the attachment.
And it is that great Attachment that must be avoided if you are suggesting apples and someone else is suggesting oranges!
Decision Point: The Right Decision, Every Time
Discover a System of Decision Making That Will Clear the Way to Success
Begins May 24, 2024
If you’ve ever taken one of my Course Intensives, yes, it’s like them!
The Decision Point Course lasts 7 weeks and has more than 20 modules. You set your own schedule – you don’t have to be “in class” at any particular time each day. You get VIP access to a secret members-only section of the KevinHogan.com site and can log in at any time.
Registration today for the course that begins this week allows you to save $700 off the $1,995 price to the public.
If you could point to one word, to one factor, to one element or cause of what happens to you in your life, it is decision.
Maybe you have been experiencing one or more of the following:
Moving is always tough but when there are more than one person’s job or one person going to a school that they love and the possibility of leaving friends behind makes for what many consider an impossible decision. What do YOU decide? How do you decide?
Your investments have done OK but your total income saved for your future is terrible. There are a lot of options you’ve been told about but you really don’t know what to do. What will you decide? How will you decide?
You are a manager at your company and only have enough budget to pursue one product line. You can choose between an almost sure thing with a very modest return or a riskier proposal that could make you a superstar. What do you decide? How do you make the decision?
You’re on your way home for the holidays. You get stuck in bad weather and are put up at a local hotel. In the bar that night a beautiful woman strikes up a conversation with you and she has offered you the key to her room. What will you decide?
A relative lives with you. They take advantage of you but you can’t let them go because you don’t know what will happen to them. What is the right thing to do and will that thing be what you decide? How will you decide?
An elderly relative lives with you. They can’t take care of themselves anymore. You hate the idea of a nursing home or “worse.” You also want “a life.” What will you decide to do?
Your wife is two months pregnant. A test reveals the baby is going to be born with a disease that will require your 24/7 care for the rest of your life. She decides she wants to keep the baby. But you haven’t made your decision. What will you decide to do? How will you make the decision?
Your home has a horrible defect that you can cover easily in the selling process and the defect almost certainly won’t be discovered for years. Revealing it will reduce the price of your home $100,000. What will you decide to do? How will you decide?
You can stay at your present job which you really don’t like that much and live on a predictable but very modest income or you can pursue a venture that has about a 70% chance of success and if it succeeds, you would double your income. What do you decide to do? How do you decide?
You’ve been thinking of getting a divorce but you’re just not sure. There are other fish in the sea but you wonder if you can still compete? Can you do better? What about the kids? What do you DECIDE? How do you decide?
You are involved in a custody battle for your children. One of the kids is misbehaving terribly and you don’t know whether you should spank them or discipline them firmly. The result could easily affect the results of the custody hearing. What do you do? How do you decide?
Two women have taken a liking to you. You date them both for some time. They both begin to talk about moving in and a permanent relationship. One is the kind of person you feel comfortable with and would be easy to love. The other is 10 years younger and is celebrity beautiful. Unfortunately, she knows it and enjoys being the center of attention. What do you decide? How do you decide?
And those are just a few of the decisions that face real people every day. Decisions that people are forced into and have no idea what to do or how to do it.
THIS COURSE shows you how to make ALL of the decisions above.
And it’s important to note, that the right decision easily can be different from person to person. Knowing how to evaluate THAT is crucial to everything you will do…but no one ever does it….
If you haven’t taken a Course Intensive with me: this is not like other online courses you’ve taken. With me, a Course Intensive means you will have instruction in several media forms. Video, audio, and text. There is NO specific time you must meet with me every day, but you will have special VIP email access to me throughout the course. And you will have access to the members’ only discussion group.
About 50% of the people who take my courses collect all the materials and work at their own pace later. The other half work with me and sometimes with other participants when necessary, on projects that are necessary to learn how to make the RIGHT DECISIONS.
My Course Intensives are universally known to be challenging, results-oriented, pragmatic and show you EXACTLY how to get where you want to go.
It’s the Decision Point
Decision making is a function of thinking that almost 90% of people do very poorly. Most people think that if something turns out well, they made a good decision. If something turns out poorly they made a bad decision.
And that conditioning is one of the biggest reasons why people are poor decision makers.
Decision making is first and foremost about MAKING DECISIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Every day, people vacillate on making changes in their lives that they KNOW are absolutely necessary, but they decide to do nothing and hope for the best, only to live a life where nothing ever changes.
This is where we begin.
Elimination of PROCRASTINATION and VACILLATION.
You will learn how to recognize situations where you are about to commit acts of self-sabotage. I’ll show you how to identify it long before it becomes an issue. I’ll show you how to crush self-sabotage so you can make a CHOICE instead of only having the ability to stay with the Status Quo.
This first week’s module alone will be worth the investment in the course.
How would you like to NEVER procrastinate again?
What would happen if you could actually MOVE in the DIRECTION that you want to, even if it is ONLY AWAY FROM WHERE YOU ARE TODAY?!
By the end of week one, you will have daily projects to do for several weeks that will almost literally beat the habits of self-sabotage and procrastination from your life.
Most people don’t know that procrastination is a habit you picked up, but it is NOT your fault.
The same is true of self-sabotage.
I will explain why, where it all started, why it happens to everyone and why it must be eradicated intentionally and with no little effort. By the END of the course, IF YOU FOLLOW the Decision Point Plan, you will have eliminated procrastination and almost all forms of self-sabotage.
I’ll explain in detail why self-sabotage is a little trickier and lurks in EVERYONE’S backyard waiting to strike. I’ll show you how to get rid of it and then prevent it so you never have to deal with it in the future.
And that is only week one! How we doin’ so far?!
Decision IS Destiny
You make decisions all the time. Generally speaking, the more decisions a person makes, the more successful they are.
The better a person is at making decisions, the more successful they are.
When you move from your old home to the home you are in now; maybe you moved because you wanted a bigger house, or to put the kids in a better school district. Maybe it was just closer to where your job is…more convenient.
And of course, in the case of uprooting and moving your family, you’re talking about a lot of variables, a lot of things to consider. You’re going to find out how to make the right decision in which house to buy and where to move.
What about leaving your job for some other opportunity?
FEAR enters the picture quite clearly and because the future is seemingly unpredictable, you feel frozen or stuck as to what to do, so you immediately default to stay in your same job. But there is a way to make this decision much easier. And you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you do….
But there are also the smaller decisions of life.
- Which movie to go see…
- Which show to watch on TV….
- What to make for dinner…
- Whether to go to the game or stay home….
- Whether to take a vacation with or without the kids…
- Whether to wear blue or black…
There is a simple method that takes little thinking at all to make these day to day decisions.
And then there are decisions that you make that influence other people’s lives like taking a new job, going into business for yourself, moving to a new area, having a surgery that has risks involved….
How do you know what to do? Don’t worry, most people haven’t got a clue as to how to make the right decision every time, and there is a right decision to make.
Then there are Destiny Decisions…those decisions that you make that will literally determine where you are going to be in three years or five years.
These are REALLY IMPORTANT decisions. Every day I see people screwing them up as if they are no big deal.
You’ll find out a methodical system that might take a very short amount of time or significantly longer, depending on circumstances. Nevertheless, you will find out exactly what to do every time.
Obviously, there are plenty of Black Swan’s (unexpected random events like hurricanes and terrorism) out there to get in the way of what you want in life, but nothing you can control impacts your life more than a decision).
Write that down.
Put it on the refrigerator.
That alone is worth $10,000, yes?
Nothing you can control impacts your life more than a decision.
How would life be different if you knew you were going to make the right decision, every time?
(Every time?!)
Did you know that in life, there is almost always the best decision?
What would happen if you had the method for decision making?
What would it be worth to have a simple systematic approach to decision making where the guidelines are from your head and heart?
Most people are paralyzed with uncertainty about whether they should:
- Ask the girl to marry them.
- Make a purchase.
- Move from one place to another…
- Quit their job…
- Decide between committing one person or another.
- Start a business…
- Ask the girl to go out with them…
- Send the letter or not…
- Decide between hiring one person or another.
- Get a divorce…
- Send your kids to public or private school…
- Choose from a new car, a used car, or no car…
- Go back to school to get more education…
- Fire the person or not.
- Invest in stocks, bonds, real estate and not screw up.
- Accurately plan for their future in all areas.
Why Do People Make Bad Decisions?
And…they make bad decisions because…we all have about 8-10 areas of failure in our brain….similar experiences where you make the wrong decisions over and over again.
(Like marrying the same guy five times, dating jerks, working for idiots, saying the wrong thing at the worst time, etc. Sound familiar?)
We’ll repair all of that. (If we don’t, life will be the same tomorrow as it has been in the past….)
Did you know there is a proven way to make the right decision in each of the above choices?
Now STOP.
For the sake of discussion, let’s assume that is correct. There IS a method you can use to make the RIGHT decision just about every time.
It doesn’t take a genius to think, “I decide to make more money,” “lose weight,” “get a better job,” “get married to perfect person x”.
KEY: Learning the process of making the right decision involves making that decision STICK, be UNYIELDING and barring a Black Swan, guaranteeing you will follow through.
Over the last 15 years, we’ve been fortunate to have studied the raw information about how to make laser beam accurate decisions. Complex software programs have shown scientists how to simplify the decision making process using some mostly simple (sorry, it’s not ALL instantly easy!) rules.
And now, you don’t need the software or the computer anymore…
And, by the way, in the last 15 years, there has been an incredible amount of research done about decision making that teaches and uses VERY FAULTY processes, that can’t and don’t work.
KEY: You’ll experience FIRST HAND, how what seems to be an obvious decision, is almost always the wrong one….the costly one…(often the disaster one….)
If you follow that teacher’s advice, you’ll flat out screw up.
You’ll end up with next to nothing and headaches and heartaches to boot.
Why?
People get emotional.
People are lazy.
They don’t do the research.
They don’t test.
Why should they?
They get paid the same no matter what and when YOU screw up, they just say, “you did it wrong.”
Play along for just a moment.
Can I ask you a question?
Have you ever read that it’s been proven that 93% of all communication is body language?
Of course, lots of times. Everyone has read that.
And of course, it’s not true.
(It’s not even close to accurate.)
How could that be, it’s common knowledge…isn’t it?
There was one study done by a brilliant communication researcher 35 years ago that evaluated people saying one word to another, with the other person only being able to see the person from the neck UP. (that leaves about 90% of the body out of the study.) In this one specific instance, Dr. Mehrabian found that about 93% of the communication sent was at a nonverbal level. Obviously when people communicate with more than one word and people can see below the neck, all kinds of factors change the percentages.
Problem is people read something in a book written by Goofball X and they believe what she writes because she says it’s “scientific.”
People look at their lives and think, “I did everything I was told…”
Yep and look at that life. It didn’t work.
The guru didn’t do the research. They went with the party line and taught that.
I don’t care about the party line because I don’t like the people at the party.
Remember when Benjamin Franklin did his famous experiment about testing each of the virtues (temperance and so forth) for a month so he could eventually become adept at all of them? I’ve heard most motivational speakers talk or write about this. I’d name them, but it would take an entire page…
Anyway…You remember… but he gave up the idea after the first week …he never did the experiment. He wrote early in his biography that he was going to do the project and then soon after decided not to. Basically, he said it was impossible to do such a thing.
I’ve never heard ANYONE get that right, either.
But THEY TEACH YOU TO DO IT…
And because you trust them YOU TRY IT and FAIL.
Franklin’s personal challenge didn’t work for all kinds of reasons I’ll show you later.
Question: Why did you believe he actually did the project?
Only one reason: …because someone you trusted or believed, an author, a teacher….told you that it was true.
Want a quick way to filter a crummy guru out?
If they tell you that story, they didn’t get very far in Franklin’s biography. If they tell you that, they’d tell you anything.
By the way…what did Franklin do instead?!
I’ll show you that at Decision Point, too.
The point is that MOST of the stuff people tell you to do…. that is “scientific,” that is based on laws of the universe or proven techniques is nothing more than their imagination having run wild.
…and following their advice will get you the same ultimate destination, every time…
Back to Start. (If you don’t go into foreclosure first.)
So why don’t the vast majority of people make good decisions?
Why are people AFRAID to make decisions at all?
They’ve been given crummy information and worse methods for how to choose and what to do.
It’s that simple.
(OK, there are eight other core reasons people make crummy decisions every day, but to pick on your neighbor here is so not cool…)
And what does the Power of Decision Point give you in life?
- Choice
- Personal freedom
- No limits
- The Ability to Succeed When Most Others Fail
- The Ability to Make Big Changes in Life with Ease and…
- Wealth if You Want It
- A LOT Better Life If You USE The Power of Decision
- Success when you use The Power of Decision.
You’re going to learn it ALL in this 7 Week E-Course.
If you’ve been in an E-Course with me, you know that although they are always convenient, they are also densely packed with practical, real life application as the end result. That is the same here. Everything you learn will be immediately applied to a crucial part of your life because there is a LOT going on in your life right now and a LOT of it has to change but you don’t know WHAT.
Each week you’ll receive a number of emails or documents from me. You’ll have homework assignments that are all real-life based…your life. You’ll be given audio’s to listen to or video to watch. You will once again, find out what “over delivery” means!
You’re going to discover:
- How People Decide
- Why Most People Make Almost All Bad Decisions
- How to KNOW What to do…
- The Four Factors of Luck and How to Tilt the “Luck Factor” in YOUR Favor.
- How to Beat the Black Swan when Bad Luck Strikes…
- All of the Successful Strategies for Decision Including Decision Point: MY PERSONAL SYSTEM
Do you sell something for a living?
[Pay attention: I’m going to show you how to analyze how your client WILL DECIDE on buying your product or service…and I’ll show you WHAT is going to happen next…think that might be worth $10,000?!]
I’ve never given the system for DECISION POINT to anyone.
I’m not going to write about it in Coffee….ever.
But the time is now to experience a truly transformational experience in an exciting and unique E-course.
I PROMISE YOU:
No one else is going to ever show you this information. You’ll never experience these experiences with anyone else. You can’t find anything remotely similar “out there.”
So essentially, you’re stuck spending seven weeks with me. As with all of my Course Intensives, I am your PERSONAL COACH and you don’t have to be at any specific place at any specific time. The program is delivered via audio, video, and text.
So what’s going to happen in these seven fascinating weeks?
I’ll personally show you the problems you face when you make decisions.
You’ll find out the impact of other people on your decision.
I’ll show you how to minimize the NEGATIVE impact of other people on your decisions, including the people you might love or work with every day.
You won’t regret your decisions anymore.
You’ll understand how to MINIMIZE RISK and MAXIMIZE RETURN on both business and personal decisions.
I’ll show you EXACTLY what to do when the RIGHT decision you determine, FEELS completely wrong.
Finding out how your beliefs, faith, values and lifestyle factor into your decisions matters a lot to you. No one else shows you how to be true to yourself and others around you while you decide for your Self or for many.
Almost forgot…
At the end of the course, you will have one cool, big Coffee Table-Sized Manual that you will be able to refer to forever.
Your tuition: $1,995 but save $700 with this last minute chance to get in today!
A couple things before you apply!
- I reserve the right to reject any application for any reason.
- There may be a few group projects that are necessary for making decisions where two people are involved, instead of just you (as in a marriage, with kids, or at work). If you are unwilling to e-mail one of your fellow participants during these two projects do not apply.
- Everything is yours to keep, but you may not share or give away any of this information to anyone.
- If you’re still here with me, then I look forward to seeing your application!
$1,995 but save $700 today by getting your application in under the wire.!
