When anyone tells you that something is impossible for you to accomplish, especially when you see others like you already doing it, how do you feel inside? What is your instant reaction to their judgement of you and your ability?
Whatever it is, I probably want you to make an adjustment in your reaction and response.
“That’s interesting. Let me think about it. Thanks, but be careful not to underestimate me.”
End of that conversation. In the next second…
I want your trigger reaction to become, “I can too,” even if you can’t. It’s important to develop an “I will do it,” mentality which really is simply, “If anyone I know can do it, I can do it if I CHOOSE to.”
Just because you can do something is a lousy reason to do something. Do what you need and want to do when appropriate and believe that if indeed you have the capabilities to do X that you can indeed do it.
The problem with listening to too many people, is that a lot of people communicate lousy information. And a lot more people communicate it with authority.
Do you accept their diatribes and go on thinking to yourself, “Yeah! It’s probably too hard, too…” or “They’re right. That could never work.” Or do you just passively go on with your existence, say “ah well,” and then never to give it another thought?
Well, listen. S T O P thinking that way. Before you accomplish anything that you think may be even a little difficult, you do a little research to figure out if it is possible for YOU and then YOU MUST own the belief that it is not only possible, it is probable, if you choose. Then, owning that belief, ask yourself some very focused questions.
- What do I want?
- What is the first step I should take to be one step closer to achieve what I am after?
- Who can clear up any lack of knowledge that I need to achieve this?
- What is my plan to get from Point A to Point B?
The genesis of achievement is to believe. Without belief, there is nothing.
Beware of the idiots. I have a friend who has a brilliant outlook on life. He is an entrepreneur and has a lot of great ideas. Not only are they great ideas, they actually make him money.
There are plenty of people who would look at him and his ideas and tear down any effort he would make at trying to achieve.
Here’s the part you need to adopt and adapt to your way of life.
The people who tear down or do not support the vast majority of his workable ideas are automatically dismissed as idiots. Those who support him and his ideas are always brilliant. That’s a great way to win! Develop your genius tribe. Totally ignore and dismiss the idiot pool.
Now you don’t have to be so raw about calling people idiots (although it may help). You can still apply the same principle. Beware of the nay-sayers. Embrace those who encourage.
Surround yourself with geniuses.
Few things will kill a million-dollar idea faster than idiots telling you it can’t work, and you believe someone whose sum knowledge about the subject is their scan of your plan.
Another thing that will kill a million-dollar idea faster than anything is not being yourself.
Being yourself is the most unique thing you can offer anyone. Why would you want to rob yourself of the most valuable asset you can offer?
Trying to be someone else is a nasty habit that is so transparent it turns off everyone who sees it. Don’t do it. This doesn’t mean be rude or act like an idiot. It means put your life focus on your creations, things you want to learn and love.
People are attracted, on average, to those who are glad to be themselves and are confident in who they are. These people understand that they are valuable being the only person they can be. Be yourself and unless there is a reason…don’t be ashamed of you. Assuming there is a reason to be proud of your Self, then please do.
Once you have accepted that you are valuable and are sure in who you are, you will begin to notice in a very short time that people will begin to be attracted to you. They will want to be around you and unconsciously want what y
Breakthrough The Barrier
A lot of people I’ve talked to have said they feel like there is a barrier around them that is keeping them from succeeding. Most of these barriers are only real in your mind. They are generally constructed after consulting the “rolodex in your mind.”
The rolodex in your mind is a massive stadium full of people in your mind that watch you, limit you (not necessarily in real life but in your mind). These people are at your school, your church, your office, in your neighborhood, your home, among your relatives, and on and on. ANYONE and EVERYONE who you allow to have an OPINION in your mind, without having intentionally selected that person as a personal advisor (in your mind!) needs to be booted from the stadium. When you boot the 99% of the people in the stadium in your mind then the next two points become workable.
- Do not compare yourself with others. They may have a different road to travel than you. Your life is significant in its own right. Live your own life.
- Do NOT fall into the victim vacuum. That is the place where every thing is, “whoa is me” or, “I can’t get a break.” Or, “why doesn’t anyone love me?” Basically it is a very severe and chronic case of being a whiner.
Here’s a rule you can borrow. As long as you are working hard on solving a problem, then complaining about the problem is not whining and it is fine. When you stop working on the problem, you stop complaining.
Keep pressing on and evaluating your state of mind by asking what would be the first obstacle I need to overcome. Then overcome it. After that, start the next obstacle.
Your Decision, Your Life
You are responsible for you.
You may not be where you want to be in life. You may be. Either way, you are in large part responsible for where you are.
The decisions you made in the past were your decisions, even if you were pressured into them. Today you may feel trapped. You feel that way because of the decisions you made to get there. You may feel you’re in a helpless situation. You feel that way because of the decisions you made. You will continue to feel that way if you decide to stay where you are.
The good news is you can make different decisions to get out of that situation and experience some new feelings. Feelings that will empower you. Feelings that will inspire you. Feelings that will enable you to further your successful life.
In the other article in this weeks edition of Coffee with Kevin Hogan, you learned about what a ‘comfort zone’ really is. There are a couple of other daily challenges you face beyond the CZ.
Habit can be an enemy of success OR it can be the foundation of trusting yourself and the backbone for achieving success. In this context we are talking about the enemy. You can probably answer this question before you even finish hearing it.
Question: What are some habits that destroy any chance of achieving success?
Potential Answers: Laziness, Complacency, Procrastination, Lack of Self-Control, Jealousy
Do any of these look familiar? Are you where you want to be? Perhaps a couple of the above habits need to be banned from your life?
One of the most difficult things to do is to stop a bad habit. Another extremely difficult thing to do is to start a good habit. Now combine those and try to stop a bad habit and start a good habit at the same time. At first, that may seem next to impossible. It may be . . . if you think that way.
Here’s a good way to overcome that. Get angry enough at your current circumstance that you D-E-C-I-D-E to make a change. The most effective tool for change is a concrete decision. There is a common attribute that almost all successful people have. That attribute is habit. But not just any habit. The habits of the successful will bring success in your life.
Don’t believe the lie, “it takes 21 days to change a habit.” I have no idea who created that virus. The fact is that habits vary significantly in how much time it takes to “create” and even then you don’t instantly replace the bad habits the new one is to offset. The bad habit doesn’t vanish from the brain. The mind has taken control, you hope, after a few months, but the neural network of the bad habit itself is there for years.
The good news is the mind can choose over the brain’s choices. The bad news is the brain will do what it is most hardwired to do if the mind drops it’s guard.
Resistance can be a good thing; but it’s not when you are trying to achieve something. Resistance can be seen through behaviors such as procrastination and just negative thinking in general. Resistance can cripple any potential successes or be a blockade to keep successful living from exploding.
How do you know if you’re resisting successful living?
Are you in the same place now you were in 3 months ago? 6 months ago? 1 year ago? If so, chances are you are resisting successful living.
Why would anyone want to resist successful living?
People are too busy doing what is familiar to change. There’s a question of the unknown element of success. At a nonconscious level, there is a fear of success. (Sometimes that IS the fear of failure.) Which brings us to fear.
Fear can be the most crippling, unrelenting, paralyzing, scary emotion you will ever experience, if you let it. Fear plays a part in our every day lives and it can keep you from failing. It will keep you from taking risks. It will keep you safe. And a fully fear based creature will accomplish nothing and simply survive.
So how do you overcome and reduce the useless fears?
Are you afraid of heights?
Begin by sitting on an overlook point in a national park or more realistically go on the London Eye in London and The Linq in Las Vegas.
Are you afraid of meeting a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Go strike up a conversation with interesting people every chance you get.
Do you fear public speaking?
Sign up for a public speaking course.
You see, dealing with fear is a decision. You can decide to be a person of fear or you can decide NOT to be. Fear can be your end or it can be your beginning.
Fear = Limitations
No Irrational Fear = Endless Opportunity
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