Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
Confidence and power, in large part, is about solving problems and then solving the problems that the solutions will cause.
Anyone can solve a problem.
Being able to solve a problem and the problem the solution causes is another matter altogether.
Each time you succeed, you build confidence in yourself. Unfortunately, the confidence and the success can be very short-term. Solving big problems in no way causes long-term success.
Not a chance.
Solving problems, no matter how big they are, is related to SHORT-term success and TYPICALLY causes future LONG-term problems. If you don’t solve the SHORT-term problem, you often lose it all, but to solve a problem and forget about it?
One of the most amazing hidden facts of life is that solving big problems often causes other problems.
Hypothetical: Countries that have starving masses might get money and food to feed the people. People now live longer, but the environmental and weather conditions stay the same. With far more people living, yet another food shortage occurs…a direct cause of saving lives and improving a nation.
Real life: Legislate the company to reduce pollutants and invest in environmentally friendly manufacturing processes. Makes the world cleaner. A very good thing. For each $1,000,000 in expense you have to fire roughly 20 employees.
Real life: Stay home and spend more time with kids. They are safer and have a better living environment. A good thing. When they go to college, you can’t help them…probably not at all as there was no money earned or saved.
Real life: Using antibiotics saves millions of lives and extends life when fighting bacterial infections. The long-term problem caused by this? Millions and millions of people are becoming immune to antibiotics to the point where eventually they will not work…and people will simply die of the same things they would have died from 75 years ago.
Real life: The development of the Social Security system (completely taking care of those over 65 at taxpayer expense) was a welcome solution to an enormous problem 60 years ago. By taking taxpayer money and establishing this program, we helped millions of people live a much more comfortable life than would have been possible. Countless millions were precluded from living on the streets and becoming homeless. 10 working people could easily share the burden of supporting a modest but sustainable living for the elderly across the nation through the FICA tax.
Today, there is a new problem caused by the old solution. It now takes 5 people to support the non-working elderly person and the system is 100% broke. There are ZERO dollars in the “fund.” And, the government isn’t taxing people who work to take care of those who don’t at a higher rate. This puts an unbearable stress on our children and grandchildren, who in just 20 years, when your child or grandchild is working…will need to pay 40% of their NET income… over and above their current income tax and FICA…why? Because only 2-3 workers will support the elderly person who doesn’t work.
Why? Simple. Their will be 1/2 as many workers. Twice as many nonworkers. You can do the math. It isn’t rocket science.
That will cause a generational rift of unimaginable problems in the United States. The young and the old will be at war. The old will feel entitled to “their money.” (There is no such money.) The young will believe that their money is theirs to keep. And even by paying over 50% of net income in taxes, the “system” will still be broke.
There are no plans in place to solve this growing crisis because what politician wants to tell you and me what is really happening? Not a one.
Even if we were able to pay our past debts as a nation, we would still go bankrupt. And, there is no palatable solution. The only workable solution will be to keep the benefit at about 1/2 of the current payouts and only double the tax on workers. You think the baby boomers will vote for that option? No. They will vote for the candidate who will bankrupt the nation.
By the time the average American “gets this,” it will be far too late for them.
The Confident Person
The confident individual will develop plans and then implement them to double their annual income and invest enormous amounts of money over the next 20 years.
Real life: About 25 years ago, the USA helped the Afghan rebels fight the Soviet Union. One of their leaders? Osama Bin Laden. A problem of substantial proportion.
About the same time, we helped a new leadership stabilize and fight Iran to keep a stable balance of powers in the Middle East. A very good thing. The leader? Saddam Hussein. A problem of substantial proportion.
Solving Old Problems Causes New Problems
The problems we had were significant and the solutions did work. But as you can see bigger problems ultimately emerged.This is true in MOST cases where we solve problems.
How to Build Confidence
The way to build confidence is to get good at solving problems and the long-term problems that will stem from the short-term solutions. It’s rare that you can do both at the same time, but you can prepare for the follow-up bigger problems by devising plans now.
This kind of thinking breeds unyielding self-confidence.
As you go about solving life’s problems and making decisions, you want to figure out the worst case scenarios of your decisions. To simply attack and move “forward” without looking at all the other options and dealing with them in advance, is a recipe for short and long-term disasters.
Short-term success and effective problem solving also has other very negative ramifications if they aren’t prepared for.
Imagine the employee who is so good at their job…so efficient…so skilled.
As business evolves, they will do anything they can to keep their current “job” and not begin training to do something else…or several other things. They don’t want to hear about innovation. They don’t want anything new coming into the picture. They want to stick with what they know. And what was once confidence in the self is now confidence standing in quick sand. It will disappear very soon when their job is no longer important.
A website designer in 1995 could earn 50-100 dollars per hour. In 2008, they can earn 15-20 dollars hour as there are now templates that do the job of the website designer. The value decreased as the skills became more accessible to more people. Those few who evolved to other applications related to web marketing can still command higher pay. Most cannot, because, they got good at what they were doing and forgot about next year.
Confidence in yourself can be grounded in cement or it can be grounded in quicksand. When you succeed today or tomorrow, you start to develop self-confidence. When you succeed for one year, you maintain your self-confidence at whatever it is you are good at.
But if you stop here, you have built a house of cards. Anyone can be confident when you are winning. It’s when you prepare to lose that you truly succeed.
The Minnesota Twins (a baseball team…though you may not have ever heard of them…) have no budget. They have no money and have never had money. The fan base is very thin here. It’s not New York, Chicago, or Los Angeles where you have large fan bases that can support a sports team.
Each year, the Twins lose their best players to other teams who add them to their teams to help them win.
The Twins have been on shaky footing for years. The franchise almost folded two years ago. It was a year they went to the playoffs. And…they have gone to the playoffs in each of the last three years. You’d think it was impossible because they literally lose their VERY BEST players every year. The left over? Mediocre guys who simply are…average. But because of a good farm system, they have prepared for their lack of money and produce excellent new talent every year.
A team can be great today. You can be great today, but if you rely on only one source of income or anything, you will not develop true confidence but an illusion. Lasting confidence is when you accomplish today and prepare for tomorrow’s problem and have the solution developed for that problem as well.
Then, you have true confidence that will not be shaken. You will succeed long-term because you have planned ahead of time and not simply “gotten good” at one specific skill or orientation.
Confidence: The Foundation of Personal Mastery
Confidence.
It’s the only characteristic you can reliably count on, invest in, bet on. It’s like a money back guarantee in a person.
Confidence is the foundation of personal mastery. Confidence is what people (particularly women) admire most in another person.
Confidence vs. Arrogance
But confidence is often confused with hope…or arrogance. Very different things.
Arrogance is ultimately a defect. It involves certainty while neglecting any errors, weaknesses or mistakes in your self while you pursue a goal. The arrogant person can be beaten because they beat themselves. They will win until they lose big. They are a ramrod. They self-destruct.
Confidence is certainty. The certainty comes with the taught ability to discern personal flaws, personal defects, personal mistakes, personal errors…then adjust, alter, have the flexibility to continue on in spite of the weaknesses.
From a distance, confidence can look like arrogance. Up close, they are easy to tell apart.
The arrogant person never doubts the plan or the actions.
The confident person not only doubts the plan or the actions, but they know that if either is faulty they have the alternate route planned and know how to act on that as they change mid-stream. They plan for the plan to succeed…and fail. That’s why the truly confident person succeeds. They have total flexibility while knowing that they are the person to do the job.
Confidence is the Foundation of Personal Mastery
Confidence is not hope.
Hope implies that you are not in control. If you hope that the weather will be nice next year, that’s fine. If you hope you will do a good job you will have a challenge….you will fail. If not today…tomorrow.
Hope is what you do when you throw the dice at the craps table. It’s what you do when you buy a lottery ticket. You hope because you are out of control of the situation and the odds are against you. Hope. It’s nice. It’s better than fear. With a $5 bill, you can buy a Starbucks coffee with it.
Confidence means you won’t play “craps”, because you can’t win. You play the games you can control or can beat in the long run. The confident person puts themselves in a position where they don’t have to rely on a “feeling” of hope.
Hope = Out of Control
You can have confidence when you can control all the controllable variables. You can only hope when you don’t have control of all the controllable variable.
Proven Factors of Confidence
There are a number of proven factors in building and MAINTAINING long-term confidence.
Once you have all the factors, I’ll show you how to put them together. I’m going to give you a sequence, a syntax, a recipe so it happens permanently, as quickly as possible.
Confidence is certainty in the plan, which includes the back-up plan, and the back-up to the back-up. It is certainty in the actions and the new actions that you will take in light of the errors one makes on the way to the destination.
An arrogant pilot might fly through the storm at great risk. A confident pilot will probably fly around it…or above it…because it isn’t about the thrill. It’s about the result.
That’s why it’s the trait you can put a virtual guarantee on. If you can build your confidence. If you can build the confidence of those around you…it is very difficult to have anything but a positive result.
Before we go deeper into this concept, I want to give you a powerful tool that you can use starting today. No one else has ever shared this with you. You may have heard something like it on one of my other programs.
Have a Game Plan
Confidence is immediately built and strengthened by a game plan. I’ll give examples later, but let’s look at the basics. I just want you to sketch out an example for yourself now. We’ll sharpen the making of a game plan later.
Pick the area of life or business that you want to build confidence in.
Think about your outcome. What is your goal? What result do you want?
Write out a brief plan about how to get from here to there.
Write out at least 5 ways or obstacles that have a substantial likelihood of happening.
Detail how you will specifically deal with each of the obstacles. Use one paragraph to write your plan from the point of the obstacle.
As soon as you have completed this task, I want you to pause. Just close your eyes and breathe for a second.
How do you feel inside?
Incredible, isn’t it?
And you have only just begun…
I’ve identified 12 of the life patterns which cause us to trip up – and make the same mistakes again and again. To discover which of the 12 patterns you have been the victim of and how to eliminate self-sabotage in your life (or those of your clients) you can pick up the program below.
Lifestorms: 12 Obstacles to Achievement: The Paradox of Overcoming Self Sabotage to Achieve Love, Power, Money and Happiness.
3 CDs in this program – and it comes with a BIG WORKBOOK! And now, get a free Lifestorms DVD presentation with your order!
Discover why life often brings you exactly what you don’t want…and how self sabotage can hide around every corner. Some people have guessed at the bizarre nature of self sabotage. Guess no more. Self sabotage is very real in everyone’s life. It is completely devastating and 100% resolvable!
- Do you ever know you should start on a project but don’t?
- Do you have projects that you have started but never finished?
- Do you ever say the one wrong thing at the wrong time?
- Have you ever had things going well in life only to have everything blow up in a day?
- Have you tried to be so careful not to make a mistake that you were shocked when you made a truly costly one?
- Have you ever promised yourself to stay out of trouble in some way only to find yourself in the same trouble or worse again?
Now you can discover your own life patterns so you can eliminate unconscious self sabotage immediately. This program will break the heavy chains that hold you from your dreams and your goals.
This program is the first program ever made public that shows you how to identify specific self sabotaging behaviors and negative life patterns. Better? You can ultimately erase those life patterns and rewrite new “schemas” into your brain that will allow you to meet your goals and experience fulfilling relationships.
Here is what you will learn:
- How to identify which of the 12 negative life patterns you live.
- How to find the triggers of the lifestorms that you just can’t believe you experience.
- How to change the self sabotage into success, happiness or something productive.
- How to remove almost all obstacles between you and your goals.
- How to understand those around you so you don’t push their buttons.
- How to predict your behavior and that of others.
- How to actually achieve your goals so they are more than just a dream.
No one anywhere has ever put such a program on CD. There is not one person anywhere who can’t utilize every minute of this insightful information. These three CD’s are packed with the most powerful tools for getting past life’s roadblocks and personal sabotage ever imagined. Anyone can utilize this information and I personally guarantee that if you follow the instructions you will not experience self sabotaging behavior anymore. Your goals become reality at speeds faster than you ever imagined.
Learn More About Lifestorms or to order
