How Brains Screw Up …Almost Everything
When you meet with people, including your family, best friends, I want you to know that they are FEELING LOTS of things right now. Good, bad, good, evil. And when you ask, “how are you?”….well you only get a bread slice of truth.
The real questions for today though are…
WHY don’t people predictably like the best of the good people on this planet?
What is it about great performance at the office that brings looks of derision and disgust from people?
Why do people say bad stuff about people who try or succeed in doing so much good for friends, family and/or the world?
Why So Many People Not Like those who excel and those who are good?
Perhaps one of the most important questions where everyone wants to know the real answer. And here it is… (to turn the page click on “2”)
What you think other people are thinking and feeling is likely at least 50% wrong, 80% of the time. By the end of this article you’ll understand this and reconsider HOW you live and WHY you live the way you will choose going forward. In fact you’ll be able to “read people” much better and not 1% of this has to do with nonverbal communication. It’s all in THEIR MIND.
By extension you get to look at some of the other questions you’ve always wondered about.
Can someone love you and hate you at the same time?
Can fellow employees like the person at the office who does a pretty good job, better than the person who does a great job?
Can someone like the person who helps another in a small way vs. helping them in a big way? (If you hear that someone donated $100 might someone watching appreciate that more than watching you donate $1,000)
Before we get to the answers about THEM let’s talk about you.
If you’re reading this, you already cause people to make a change in their life, every day.
You donate to a charity,
you give a person a loan to help them get by during a tough time,
you set the plan for them to lose weight,
get a great mentor,
invest their portfolio,
help them with a problem,
do business with them,
help them with their cool project,
pay their bills,
give them a place to live,
pay some or all of their expenses or even
listen to a problem they have at work and offering ideas on what’s next.
Perhaps you even have caused them to get better grades…
Your first reaction to even one or two items on the above laundry list of good stuff, is “yep that’s me and I imagine people appreciate it.”
After all, everyone likes a good guy right?
Sadly that’s a “should” statement and not reality. In other words, that’s neither your experience nor is it scientifically correct.
To be sure, many people do like the good guy, but never think that it’s the majority. Research shows us, it is not.
In several contexts many people are VERY upset with you and your good deed(s).
How is that possible?!
No one EVER thinks of the real answer. Now we know. Check it out…
And of course as you’re finding out, there are times when the emotions of the moment are paradoxical. For example…
People can appreciate and resent in the same moment about the same action they see.
People can admire and be irritated by the same acts of kindness.
Let’s get specific. Imagine that you donated to a worthy charity in significant amounts for 3 consecutive years. In year four, you simply weren’t able to do it. The charity will understand, right? Nope. Charities budget based on the previous years numbers. Your being AWOL can cause a lot of nasty conversations about you.
Could you be seen as a traitor if you fail to “come through” this year?
Research show the speed of which the majority of people FORGET what was done for them, but you as the “giver” or “benefactor” remember very well.
The fact is that the majority of people love pretty good guys who help a LITTLE, donate a LITTLE, give LITTLE gifts, help out around the house or the office, and when they are in the proximity of the guy who helps/performs a little AND the guy who helps/performs a lot.
Why?
Research has the answer:
When a group of people watch a person perform in an almost ideal fashion, like researching a project for the team, cleaning the office, staying until 8 PM instead of 5 PM, going more than an extra mile…they like that person LESS than the co-worker who stays until 5:15 PM or cleans his own office space.
What happens is the group feels INFERIOR to the person’s excellence. You got it, they resent the achiever. They think something like this, “Now after THAT performance what will be expected from everyone else here?”
It makes sense actually. Imagine the boss works typically until 8 PM. John stays til 8 doing an 11 hour day a few times per week.
EVERYONE else in the office knows this, sees this and instead of appreciating John, he is possibly seen as a “suck up” (one who seeks a favor from someone else).
The social equivalent of this is that many people resent and even hate the 1%. The 1% are those that cumulatively have half of the net worth of a country or of the planet.
I was in a deep conversation with another friend in Sofia in 2017 and he told me through an interpreter told me that the only way a person could have a million dollars is if they had committed crimes. This was a common belief in their culture. And the person REALLY believed it and his discomfort reconciling me and what I was saying, with his current belief structure, was a moment I’ll never forget.
People who don’t have x quite often resent those who have x.
Envy or Resentment or is it something else?
Envy makes sense!
But, RESENTMENT?!?!?! Because one person has x and another doesn’t? Legendary Point: THIS is how the world works and that resentment is THE KEY MOTIVATOR IN human behavior.
Let’s bring this to a common experience that a lot of families deal with.
Imagine your Mom was being taken care of (physically/financially) by you for a significant amount of time, say 5 years and then you simply couldn’t do it any more for any of many reasons. The rest of the family along with Mom, would appreciate what they HAD been given, right?? Perhaps, but they’d more often resent you for your goodness AND ceasing your goodness.
Imagine covid hit and you were paying someone’s monthly living expenses (rent/food) for 9 months and then stopped. They’d be eternally grateful? No. In real life this rarely turns out well. Resentment and anger eventually come to the front.
And now that you’re reading this in text you’re thinking, “oh man I’ve been there and done that.”
Many people actually look for a reason to resent the person who helped them so much. The desire to punish the giver by the receiver, can be significant.
People often do appreciate the help they are receivING but it’s not long before they are resentING your inability to help once you have no choice but to turn off the financial stream.
“He’s got it, he can afford it.”
Sound familiar? Because someone can afford to do something, they are ridiculed for not doing something specific for John or a charity. Meanwhile, they were also ridiculed when they were working until 8 PM and not 5 PM like the rest of the team.
And this person who secretly gives or quietly adds to someone’s life, simply doesn’t understand why everyone doesn’t like her. After all she works more than anyone, she saves more than anyone, she’s always helping everyone else, and she then has the assets to live a quieter life with fewer problems later.
The Explanation Rests in The Favor Paradox
This image makes me feel very good. But it doesn’t have the same impact on everyone else. You might remember research I’ve shared with you where people who had favors done for them forgot about them over time, feeling no sense of need to repay the favors as time passes.
How could ANYONE not like that image? What are people so upset about??
Meanwhile the giver of the favor grows in their resentment over time having not been repaid in some way.
Alice asks Bob for a favor, “Can you loan me $500 and I’ll pay you back in 90 days?”
“Of course. No problem.”
90 days passes, then 100, then 120, then 9 months. Then one year. What happens?
At that one year mark Alice doesn’t believe she has to pay the loan back any longer.
And it’s very likely she rarely if ever has thought of it in the last several months. Meanwhile, Bob feels more resentment and disgust as Alice continues to fail to do what she said she’d do… “maybe she’ll give me my money back this month.” And only once in a life time will she do so.
It struck me last year that the answer is not always to solve someone’s problem but to let a long term life lesson be learned by them. And lessons to be learned require the person experience pain. And that means someone can look at you as someone who could be perceived as causing pain because in their you could stop the pain.
What’s the solution? Is there an answer to solving the world’s problem?
How about fixing it in your own world of friends and family?
We’ll come to that in a minute.
First you need to understand the impact of your friends…their friends and your family’s friends, ON YOU. All 3 groups.
Humans typically believe other humans can only experience one emotion at a time. “Are you happy honey?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t KNOW? How can you not know?!” I actually asked that question once years ago.
Then I learned. I understood. Emotions, feelings aren’t that simple and they are notoriously difficult for individuals to self-reflect, causing people to be more inept at making decisions based on feelings and even harder to understand another person’s feelings.
Brains can be a big glob of complex gook.
Because people feel NUMEROUS emotions at any given moment.
This is part of the reason why people can both “love” and “hate” other people so easily. Love and hate don’t operate on opposite sides of the same continuum. They are two mostly unrelated emotions and evaluations. There’s no “dimmer switch,” here that causes one emotion to fade as the other rises.
When you persuade someone who weighs 325 pounds to lose weight and then they set out to do so, that person will experience a wide variety of feelings about the process, the result, you and other people.
They will also have diverse feelings about their own decision and their own behavior.
People have a LOT of FEELINGS and EMOTIONS towards and about you. Even when you have changed their life for the MUCH better. Here’s how that works…
They are going to have a wide variety of feelings toward you for being the person who convinced them (in this case) to lose weight. Some of that glob of emotion will include feelings of resentment, hostility, disgust and on and on. You put them through pain. You put them through a lifestyle CHANGE. You changed how people respond and react to them. A lot of that is better than good. Some of it is not easily processed by the individual.
When Person A helps Person B, quite often it is predictable that Person B will have feelings of resentment toward Person A. Gratitude will often be there as well… at the same time.
Life is not easy to understand…but today it gets easier.
Look,
- You go to the game and you behave pretty much like everyone else at the game.
2. G0 to the office and your behavior completely changes. It’s like you are a different person…now behaving like everyone at the office!
3. Hang out with your friends at the park or a bar and once again, it’s like you are a different person…now behaving like everyone at the bar…
4. Then there is the person you spend most of your life with… and your behavior changes again….behaving like the spouse/partner of the other person in the room.
Legendary Point: If you just pause and think about your behavior and how it changes with different people all around you, you finally stumble upon the realization that you are a much better person in the presence of some people than others.
Sad but real truth? Hang out with those guys in group A …and you don’t say or do a bunch of stupid stuff.
Sad but real truth, pt. 2? Hang out with that other group of guys in B… and you say and do some pretty regrettable stuff.
More often than not, you become your environment.
So what is the big deal? I mean really… so you do dumb stuff with some people. Some people ARE more FUN than others, yes? Who cares? You have some fun, you go home.
And that’s the challenge. You really did bring home “the gang” with you.
Because you morph into the group’s identity and then you bring them all home with you at the end of the night, you really do give the family quite a challenge.
Here’s what most people don’t know…
Success, failure, wealth, poverty, health, sickness, saving and spending are all contagious.
But there CAN BE a HUGE problem with contagion.
People are most typically reduced to the lowest common denominator in a group.
In a group of two, the person with the lowest self discipline (self regulation) determines the success or failure of the group or pair.
Surely your family’s behavior won’t change because you come home after being with “the gang!”
But it does.
“KEV, I’VE NEVER EVEN MET THEM, How could they possibly be THAT BIG of an influence OVER ME?”
If you go to Bill’s house for a visit tonight, you don’t just become more like Bill, you become more like Bill’s friends, family, neighbors and co-workers.
Your WAIST LINE will go in the direction of Bill’s friends and family whom you have never met. (It seems ludicrous but it is how reality works.)
Your HEALTH will become more like the friends and family of Bill. (Same thing. You don’t know the folks, but Bill is your good friend and this is his group that changes you without ever having said “come on in for a drink.”
The likelihood of success or failure in life becomes more like the friends and family of Bill… and you have NEVER MET THEM. The research is extensive and certain. Clusters of people you don’t know personally (friends of your friends and friends of your family members) are changing your behavior today.
Friends, Family, Neighbors, Co-Workers
Do I have your attention?
Let’s look at how we opened this article through a different lens.
Some people ARE pure gold.
They work hard. They work hard at being good to others. They are charitable. They are wise. They are successful. They literally make the world a better place.
Legend Point: Hang with gold… and you WILL become gold.
And some other people are a disaster.
So what do you do?
Let’s get specific:
The evidence is clear.
The person and people you spend the most time with influence your income, your work ethic, your sense of humor, your health, your body weight, and your value as a human being.
And remember it’s NOT just the person, but the people they spend the REST of their time with that CHANGES you knowingly or unwittingly.
Test: Think about the last time you were quite generous or kind. Who were you spending your time with? (Online counts)
With a sample of ONE person, I am comfortable betting that person is a desirable and net positive influence in your life.
There is nothing (on average) that has a greater influence on your success or failure than the people you hang out with.
Every time I meet with my Inner Circle group in person, and covid has temporarily blocked this… I feel LUCKY because I know the environment I’m in is PURE GOLD.
Just being around these people changes my life for the better. I can feel it when I’m there and I can feel it for WEEKS after I get home.
I can also think of when I’ve made absolutely stupid mistakes in life, I know precisely who I was with… and do everything I can do avoid contact with these people.
Let me take you to a place you didn’t expect today.
CONTAGION For Better and More Typically Worse, Begins with What You Don’t See
If your best friend has a criminal for a wife, even though you’ve never met her and don’t know her real background, she not only influences you to be more like her, she does so more dramatically than your other friends.
That’s one type of contagion through connection.
There is also Direct Contagion.
Did you completely miss the last person who was irresistibly attracted to you?
Did you completely miss the last person who would have made a great partner and wanted to do a deal with you?
Because you don’t see it, you become oblivious to something that could be very GOOD.
Here’s what happens… you are in charge of putting the right people in your vicinity.
Being in charge means you will make mistakes.
Not making any choices means you will always lose.
Out of fear of making a mistake, do you, at times, become clueless to all the real lives around you that could matter a lot to you?
Why do some people dislike you so much that when you inquire from an objective person, that OP says, “they should not just love but appreciate you and all you have done for them”?!
Sofia, Bulgaria; Tuesday, October 2018.
How people love then hate you…or hate then love you…or love and hate you is an interesting thing. Today we’ll look at this from a few perspectives. You’ll get it by the time you’ve seen all the “sides.”
My mind immediately went to October 2018…
I almost randomly had left in the spur of the moment from Krakow for Sofia on Monday morning, knowing full well that this will likely be my last trip to Bulgaria, (spur of the moment as it absolutely was) perhaps in my life, so Veselin had convinced me to look at a couple things I haven’t seen yet. This restaurant/bar was one of them.
I had arrived the previous day, and for the first time in Sofia, I went to a hotel on my own, negotiated meals on my own, and then Veselin picked me up at noon for a 1 PM lunch date where we would meet his wife. Monica is an elegant woman and I can’t see her wanting to be here. We walked in from the cold and immediately I recognized all the Soviet propaganda that dotted the walls. (And of course I’m more than aware that propaganda from Nazi Germany, The U.S. and Great Britain often dwarfs Soviet propaganda. None the less, the images made me uncomfortable.
It is certainly a cute place for 1978 Moscow, except I’m in Sofia…2018.
Sofia had been good to me for the last two years. I first arrived here in 2016 and it took me TIME to get to be comfortable in Bulgaria. I did travel a big chunk of the country and in different seasons. In 2017 I’d have an apartment and spend a lot of time in the city. Sofia is like nothing you will ever see in life. It has archaeological remains from a first or second century Christian Church immediate outside the former(?) communist held shopping mall which is immediately adjacent to the Hilton. (Really)
The archaeological digs in Sophia are NOT well protected and it disturbs me…and thrills me because I DO get to walk around the foundation of a church dated about 50 – 100 years after Jesus lived. That’s pretty cool. A significant part of me didn’t believe the signage about the dig because I didn’t really think believers got this far that fast. But I wasn’t certain and later I determined I was likely wrong. The church dig was legit, but probably closer to 150 AD. Either way it’s cool as heck.
Sofia in an everyday life is a complete paradox city. I wondered every time a took a walk about all kinds of statutes dedicated to old ideology and Soviet icons all pointing to the 1960’s and 1970’s Soviets… but this was 2018…fascinating. It felt strange but I’ve certainly seen this clash in other countries in Eastern/Southern Europe.
“I knew you’d love this.” Veselin pushed the button.
Veselin was my interpreter and had traveled the world. Somehow he got this gorgeous wife and he had raised a beautiful family. (Hi V!) He knew that when I went to the cultural center and the 1970’s communist shopping center by the Hilton that I’d feel awkward and uncomfortable. And I had been just that. This place we’re having lunch at appears to be a real Soviet bar…sort of. What the heck is this stuff doing here? The old Soviets hurt these people like no one has a clue….But he qualified as a certified button pusher. Monica would arrive in about a half hour.
“Right.”
A guy sits down with us. He’s the owner of this place! He speaks Russian and Bulgarian which are not the same thing, no matter what they tell you elsewhere. No english. Had I been here alone, I probably would have walked. No…I WOULD have walked. The mafia is an ever present part of life in Sofia even though it remains one of the safest cities from violence in the world. I was REALLY uncomfortable.
The guy speaks through Veselin. I was so transported to 1978.
He tells me his restaurant is IRONIC.
He spoke THAT word in perfect English. He’s had this conversation before I’m guessing. In other words the place is decorated both as sweet little restaurant with portable heaters next to a few tables AND as a tribute to his personal, dislike let’s say, to the former domineers of Bulgaria. It’s a STRONG statement to support the riddance of all the Sofia statues and other interesting erections of a devastating past from 40 years earlier.
It’s interesting that to this day, some people I met in Bg., love their memories, experiences and stories from the last century. Other citizens appreciate their current independence and have nothing but disdain for the past. (I had over time learned to appreciate all of their experiences, REALLY!) And now I get the restaurant and why Veselin brought me here.
That said, just a few months earlier I had been to a Holocaust Museum in Gdansk, Poland. My mind is very much still set in “good and bad” mode, not “oh that’s an interesting ironic strategy.”
The owner stayed with us until Veselin’s wife arrived. She and I had met a couple times. I’d met their kids briefly and so on. Good people.
She asked me, “What do you think?”
I found the truth I searched for. My feelings were really mixed.
“I bet the food is great and I see they have Rakia so I don’t have to drink beer. Love it.”
I didn’t actually THINK anything, I had this MIX of FEELINGS that were loving these guys meeting me, taking time from work just because I said I was in town and hating because of what the USSR did to so many people back in the day, and this place LOOKS like, it supports that period… to an ignorant U.S. citizen.
Legendary Point: Even AFTER I found out this guy is a REALLY GOOD GUY and that he had bought this place to make a VALUABLE POINT to the city, which I happened to support 100%, I STILL HAD MIXED EMOTIONS!
What’s even worse?
I recognized that and I wanted those mixed feelings to go away and just be inspired by this restaurant owner. Veselin was right, I loved the place. Feelings and emotions can take TIME TO CLEAR.
This image lays the foundation for what I want to give you today.
Now we bring this to YOU and YOUR FEELINGS and the FEELINGS people have about you.
Decision Point: The Right Decision, Every Time
Discover a System of Decision Making That Will Clear the Way to Success
Begins May 24, 2024
If you’ve ever taken one of my Course Intensives, yes, it’s like them!
The Decision Point Course lasts 7 weeks and has more than 20 modules. You set your own schedule – you don’t have to be “in class” at any particular time each day. You get VIP access to a secret members-only section of the KevinHogan.com site and can log in at any time.
Registration today for the course that begins this week allows you to save $700 off the $1,995 price to the public.
If you could point to one word, to one factor, to one element or cause of what happens to you in your life, it is decision.
Maybe you have been experiencing one or more of the following:
Moving is always tough but when there are more than one person’s job or one person going to a school that they love and the possibility of leaving friends behind makes for what many consider an impossible decision. What do YOU decide? How do you decide?
Your investments have done OK but your total income saved for your future is terrible. There are a lot of options you’ve been told about but you really don’t know what to do. What will you decide? How will you decide?
You are a manager at your company and only have enough budget to pursue one product line. You can choose between an almost sure thing with a very modest return or a riskier proposal that could make you a superstar. What do you decide? How do you make the decision?
You’re on your way home for the holidays. You get stuck in bad weather and are put up at a local hotel. In the bar that night a beautiful woman strikes up a conversation with you and she has offered you the key to her room. What will you decide?
A relative lives with you. They take advantage of you but you can’t let them go because you don’t know what will happen to them. What is the right thing to do and will that thing be what you decide? How will you decide?
An elderly relative lives with you. They can’t take care of themselves anymore. You hate the idea of a nursing home or “worse.” You also want “a life.” What will you decide to do?
Your wife is two months pregnant. A test reveals the baby is going to be born with a disease that will require your 24/7 care for the rest of your life. She decides she wants to keep the baby. But you haven’t made your decision. What will you decide to do? How will you make the decision?
Your home has a horrible defect that you can cover easily in the selling process and the defect almost certainly won’t be discovered for years. Revealing it will reduce the price of your home $100,000. What will you decide to do? How will you decide?
You can stay at your present job which you really don’t like that much and live on a predictable but very modest income or you can pursue a venture that has about a 70% chance of success and if it succeeds, you would double your income. What do you decide to do? How do you decide?
You’ve been thinking of getting a divorce but you’re just not sure. There are other fish in the sea but you wonder if you can still compete? Can you do better? What about the kids? What do you DECIDE? How do you decide?
You are involved in a custody battle for your children. One of the kids is misbehaving terribly and you don’t know whether you should spank them or discipline them firmly. The result could easily affect the results of the custody hearing. What do you do? How do you decide?
Two women have taken a liking to you. You date them both for some time. They both begin to talk about moving in and a permanent relationship. One is the kind of person you feel comfortable with and would be easy to love. The other is 10 years younger and is celebrity beautiful. Unfortunately, she knows it and enjoys being the center of attention. What do you decide? How do you decide?
And those are just a few of the decisions that face real people every day. Decisions that people are forced into and have no idea what to do or how to do it.
THIS COURSE shows you how to make ALL of the decisions above.
And it’s important to note, that the right decision easily can be different from person to person. Knowing how to evaluate THAT is crucial to everything you will do…but no one ever does it….
If you haven’t taken a Course Intensive with me: this is not like other online courses you’ve taken. With me, a Course Intensive means you will have instruction in several media forms. Video, audio, and text. There is NO specific time you must meet with me every day, but you will have special VIP email access to me throughout the course. And you will have access to the members’ only discussion group.
About 50% of the people who take my courses collect all the materials and work at their own pace later. The other half work with me and sometimes with other participants when necessary, on projects that are necessary to learn how to make the RIGHT DECISIONS.
My Course Intensives are universally known to be challenging, results-oriented, pragmatic and show you EXACTLY how to get where you want to go.
It’s the Decision Point
Decision making is a function of thinking that almost 90% of people do very poorly. Most people think that if something turns out well, they made a good decision. If something turns out poorly they made a bad decision.
And that conditioning is one of the biggest reasons why people are poor decision makers.
Decision making is first and foremost about MAKING DECISIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Every day, people vacillate on making changes in their lives that they KNOW are absolutely necessary, but they decide to do nothing and hope for the best, only to live a life where nothing ever changes.
This is where we begin.
Elimination of PROCRASTINATION and VACILLATION.
You will learn how to recognize situations where you are about to commit acts of self-sabotage. I’ll show you how to identify it long before it becomes an issue. I’ll show you how to crush self-sabotage so you can make a CHOICE instead of only having the ability to stay with the Status Quo.
This first week’s module alone will be worth the investment in the course.
How would you like to NEVER procrastinate again?
What would happen if you could actually MOVE in the DIRECTION that you want to, even if it is ONLY AWAY FROM WHERE YOU ARE TODAY?!
By the end of week one, you will have daily projects to do for several weeks that will almost literally beat the habits of self-sabotage and procrastination from your life.
Most people don’t know that procrastination is a habit you picked up, but it is NOT your fault.
The same is true of self-sabotage.
I will explain why, where it all started, why it happens to everyone and why it must be eradicated intentionally and with no little effort. By the END of the course, IF YOU FOLLOW the Decision Point Plan, you will have eliminated procrastination and almost all forms of self-sabotage.
I’ll explain in detail why self-sabotage is a little trickier and lurks in EVERYONE’S backyard waiting to strike. I’ll show you how to get rid of it and then prevent it so you never have to deal with it in the future.
And that is only week one! How we doin’ so far?!
Decision IS Destiny
You make decisions all the time. Generally speaking, the more decisions a person makes, the more successful they are.
The better a person is at making decisions, the more successful they are.
When you move from your old home to the home you are in now; maybe you moved because you wanted a bigger house, or to put the kids in a better school district. Maybe it was just closer to where your job is…more convenient.
And of course, in the case of uprooting and moving your family, you’re talking about a lot of variables, a lot of things to consider. You’re going to find out how to make the right decision in which house to buy and where to move.
What about leaving your job for some other opportunity?
FEAR enters the picture quite clearly and because the future is seemingly unpredictable, you feel frozen or stuck as to what to do, so you immediately default to stay in your same job. But there is a way to make this decision much easier. And you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you do….
But there are also the smaller decisions of life.
- Which movie to go see…
- Which show to watch on TV….
- What to make for dinner…
- Whether to go to the game or stay home….
- Whether to take a vacation with or without the kids…
- Whether to wear blue or black…
There is a simple method that takes little thinking at all to make these day to day decisions.
And then there are decisions that you make that influence other people’s lives like taking a new job, going into business for yourself, moving to a new area, having a surgery that has risks involved….
How do you know what to do? Don’t worry, most people haven’t got a clue as to how to make the right decision every time, and there is a right decision to make.
Then there are Destiny Decisions…those decisions that you make that will literally determine where you are going to be in three years or five years.
These are REALLY IMPORTANT decisions. Every day I see people screwing them up as if they are no big deal.
You’ll find out a methodical system that might take a very short amount of time or significantly longer, depending on circumstances. Nevertheless, you will find out exactly what to do every time.
Obviously, there are plenty of Black Swan’s (unexpected random events like hurricanes and terrorism) out there to get in the way of what you want in life, but nothing you can control impacts your life more than a decision).
Write that down.
Put it on the refrigerator.
That alone is worth $10,000, yes?
Nothing you can control impacts your life more than a decision.
How would life be different if you knew you were going to make the right decision, every time?
(Every time?!)
Did you know that in life, there is almost always the best decision?
What would happen if you had the method for decision making?
What would it be worth to have a simple systematic approach to decision making where the guidelines are from your head and heart?
Most people are paralyzed with uncertainty about whether they should:
- Ask the girl to marry them.
- Make a purchase.
- Move from one place to another…
- Quit their job…
- Decide between committing one person or another.
- Start a business…
- Ask the girl to go out with them…
- Send the letter or not…
- Decide between hiring one person or another.
- Get a divorce…
- Send your kids to public or private school…
- Choose from a new car, a used car, or no car…
- Go back to school to get more education…
- Fire the person or not.
- Invest in stocks, bonds, real estate and not screw up.
- Accurately plan for their future in all areas.
Why Do People Make Bad Decisions?
And…they make bad decisions because…we all have about 8-10 areas of failure in our brain….similar experiences where you make the wrong decisions over and over again.
(Like marrying the same guy five times, dating jerks, working for idiots, saying the wrong thing at the worst time, etc. Sound familiar?)
We’ll repair all of that. (If we don’t, life will be the same tomorrow as it has been in the past….)
Did you know there is a proven way to make the right decision in each of the above choices?
Now STOP.
For the sake of discussion, let’s assume that is correct. There IS a method you can use to make the RIGHT decision just about every time.
It doesn’t take a genius to think, “I decide to make more money,” “lose weight,” “get a better job,” “get married to perfect person x”.
KEY: Learning the process of making the right decision involves making that decision STICK, be UNYIELDING and barring a Black Swan, guaranteeing you will follow through.
Over the last 15 years, we’ve been fortunate to have studied the raw information about how to make laser beam accurate decisions. Complex software programs have shown scientists how to simplify the decision making process using some mostly simple (sorry, it’s not ALL instantly easy!) rules.
And now, you don’t need the software or the computer anymore…
And, by the way, in the last 15 years, there has been an incredible amount of research done about decision making that teaches and uses VERY FAULTY processes, that can’t and don’t work.
KEY: You’ll experience FIRST HAND, how what seems to be an obvious decision, is almost always the wrong one….the costly one…(often the disaster one….)
If you follow that teacher’s advice, you’ll flat out screw up.
You’ll end up with next to nothing and headaches and heartaches to boot.
Why?
People get emotional.
People are lazy.
They don’t do the research.
They don’t test.
Why should they?
They get paid the same no matter what and when YOU screw up, they just say, “you did it wrong.”
Play along for just a moment.
Can I ask you a question?
Have you ever read that it’s been proven that 93% of all communication is body language?
Of course, lots of times. Everyone has read that.
And of course, it’s not true.
(It’s not even close to accurate.)
How could that be, it’s common knowledge…isn’t it?
There was one study done by a brilliant communication researcher 35 years ago that evaluated people saying one word to another, with the other person only being able to see the person from the neck UP. (that leaves about 90% of the body out of the study.) In this one specific instance, Dr. Mehrabian found that about 93% of the communication sent was at a nonverbal level. Obviously when people communicate with more than one word and people can see below the neck, all kinds of factors change the percentages.
Problem is people read something in a book written by Goofball X and they believe what she writes because she says it’s “scientific.”
People look at their lives and think, “I did everything I was told…”
Yep and look at that life. It didn’t work.
The guru didn’t do the research. They went with the party line and taught that.
I don’t care about the party line because I don’t like the people at the party.
Remember when Benjamin Franklin did his famous experiment about testing each of the virtues (temperance and so forth) for a month so he could eventually become adept at all of them? I’ve heard most motivational speakers talk or write about this. I’d name them, but it would take an entire page…
Anyway…You remember… but he gave up the idea after the first week …he never did the experiment. He wrote early in his biography that he was going to do the project and then soon after decided not to. Basically, he said it was impossible to do such a thing.
I’ve never heard ANYONE get that right, either.
But THEY TEACH YOU TO DO IT…
And because you trust them YOU TRY IT and FAIL.
Franklin’s personal challenge didn’t work for all kinds of reasons I’ll show you later.
Question: Why did you believe he actually did the project?
Only one reason: …because someone you trusted or believed, an author, a teacher….told you that it was true.
Want a quick way to filter a crummy guru out?
If they tell you that story, they didn’t get very far in Franklin’s biography. If they tell you that, they’d tell you anything.
By the way…what did Franklin do instead?!
I’ll show you that at Decision Point, too.
The point is that MOST of the stuff people tell you to do…. that is “scientific,” that is based on laws of the universe or proven techniques is nothing more than their imagination having run wild.
…and following their advice will get you the same ultimate destination, every time…
Back to Start. (If you don’t go into foreclosure first.)
So why don’t the vast majority of people make good decisions?
Why are people AFRAID to make decisions at all?
They’ve been given crummy information and worse methods for how to choose and what to do.
It’s that simple.
(OK, there are eight other core reasons people make crummy decisions every day, but to pick on your neighbor here is so not cool…)
And what does the Power of Decision Point give you in life?
- Choice
- Personal freedom
- No limits
- The Ability to Succeed When Most Others Fail
- The Ability to Make Big Changes in Life with Ease and…
- Wealth if You Want It
- A LOT Better Life If You USE The Power of Decision
- Success when you use The Power of Decision.
You’re going to learn it ALL in this 7 Week E-Course.
If you’ve been in an E-Course with me, you know that although they are always convenient, they are also densely packed with practical, real life application as the end result. That is the same here. Everything you learn will be immediately applied to a crucial part of your life because there is a LOT going on in your life right now and a LOT of it has to change but you don’t know WHAT.
Each week you’ll receive a number of emails or documents from me. You’ll have homework assignments that are all real-life based…your life. You’ll be given audio’s to listen to or video to watch. You will once again, find out what “over delivery” means!
You’re going to discover:
- How People Decide
- Why Most People Make Almost All Bad Decisions
- How to KNOW What to do…
- The Four Factors of Luck and How to Tilt the “Luck Factor” in YOUR Favor.
- How to Beat the Black Swan when Bad Luck Strikes…
- All of the Successful Strategies for Decision Including Decision Point: MY PERSONAL SYSTEM
Do you sell something for a living?
[Pay attention: I’m going to show you how to analyze how your client WILL DECIDE on buying your product or service…and I’ll show you WHAT is going to happen next…think that might be worth $10,000?!]
I’ve never given the system for DECISION POINT to anyone.
I’m not going to write about it in Coffee….ever.
But the time is now to experience a truly transformational experience in an exciting and unique E-course.
I PROMISE YOU:
No one else is going to ever show you this information. You’ll never experience these experiences with anyone else. You can’t find anything remotely similar “out there.”
So essentially, you’re stuck spending seven weeks with me. As with all of my Course Intensives, I am your PERSONAL COACH and you don’t have to be at any specific place at any specific time. The program is delivered via audio, video, and text.
So what’s going to happen in these seven fascinating weeks?
I’ll personally show you the problems you face when you make decisions.
You’ll find out the impact of other people on your decision.
I’ll show you how to minimize the NEGATIVE impact of other people on your decisions, including the people you might love or work with every day.
You won’t regret your decisions anymore.
You’ll understand how to MINIMIZE RISK and MAXIMIZE RETURN on both business and personal decisions.
I’ll show you EXACTLY what to do when the RIGHT decision you determine, FEELS completely wrong.
Finding out how your beliefs, faith, values and lifestyle factor into your decisions matters a lot to you. No one else shows you how to be true to yourself and others around you while you decide for your Self or for many.
Almost forgot…
At the end of the course, you will have one cool, big Coffee Table-Sized Manual that you will be able to refer to forever.
Your tuition: $1,995 but save $700 with this last minute chance to get in today!
A couple things before you apply!
- I reserve the right to reject any application for any reason.
- There may be a few group projects that are necessary for making decisions where two people are involved, instead of just you (as in a marriage, with kids, or at work). If you are unwilling to e-mail one of your fellow participants during these two projects do not apply.
- Everything is yours to keep, but you may not share or give away any of this information to anyone.
- If you’re still here with me, then I look forward to seeing your application!
$1,995 but save $700 today by getting your application in under the wire.!
