Today is NOT New Years Eve so you CAN make a resolution right now that you will be able to keep. I want your next 12 months to be vibrant!
Will you tomorrow be just like today?
The last 7 people you had a meal with twice in the last 60 days. The sum of these 7 people will essentially be your future as far as accomplishment and fulfillment are concerned. If that excites you, then you are way ahead of the game. If not, it’s time to make some changes.
You’ve been here and read many times about the influence others have on you.
Sure, today you’ll learn how to really deal with the people in your life, because this really will drive your world and most people don’t understand what “in your life” means. But you can’t walk around thinking, “It’s all them changing me.” Yeah… they are a BIG part of the math problem but there are other parts. And you are the biggest element of them all. Specifically how you look, think, feel, navigate, negotiate, decide, love…
Wow! So how do you take YOU and break it into 12 SIMPLE things you can actually do that are sure to give you a better life?
1) Be Resilient By BEHAVING RESILIENTLY
You can screw up almost everything in life…and still WIN …IF… you BEHAVE RESILIENTLY.
Most people of course don’t…instead…they… Whine.
I hate whining, with ONE important exception.
When I hear someone whining AND they step up and bust their butt to work even harder to defeat the problem they are whining about, I am IMPRESSED. I make it a habit to tell people, “I love it, getting it done while you whine is just fine with me. Do it!”
I guess that really means I hate whining when the whiner does nothing to get out of the situation they are in. Right?
RESILIENCE GETS the big homerun shot today. RESILIENCE is often the difference between living or not. It’s (almost) always the difference between success and failure.
The ultimate in whining is “I failed, I quit.”
It’s critical to teach yourself to move forward in spite of statements to the contrary!
The ship is sinking, “We are all going to die anyway, so give me some tea.” The guy sits down and goes under.
vs.
“We are all going to die anyway, so give me some tea because I’m going to go and get that damn life boat….”
“I failed. I quit.”
There are times in life that this makes good sense. If something is your dream or your passion then that’s dramatically different than learning to play rugby, go swimming, downhill skiing.
One thing is certain. You WILL fail at every one of these things when you first take them on.
You don’t need 10,000 hours to master most things in life.
You do need 3000 – 5000 hours to master most things in life. So realize that anything you do where you have done less than 5000 hours you probably are performing at a NORMAL level at whatever “it” is.
YOU are a normal human in THIS respect.
Did you ever attempt to start a new business with zero hours of sales and entrepreneurial experience? You hardly had a chance at short term success. Fortunately mastery comes pretty quickly especially in selling and entrepreneurial efforts. Entrepreneurs have families to feed. Long term failure really isn’t a great option.
Why?
If you don’t sell, you don’t eat.
Necessity really is the mother of invention and drive.
If you’re new to selling or being an entrepreneur (less than 5000 hours of actual engagement) then you will almost certainly have to pay the price of “education” while you learn to sell and master it. The entrepreneur has many things she has to become at LEAST good at. Mastery is not necessary but mastery at sales, promotion and/or marketing are the key skills here.
Nothing speaks about a person, as does the way in which he faces adversity.
Take a close look at yourself and think of all those times you were hurt by someone or another problem. What was your reaction? When you got hurt, beat up, ostracized, dealt with tragedy in the family… how did you respond over the next 3 months? How often did you get back on your feet and get back to the situation, to life, to selling or figuring out a better plan?
One of the things you respect and admire about people is watching what they do to overcome crummy circumstances in the face of adversity.
We easily could be coming up on one of the more difficult years of the century. All around the world interests have been low and markets have been good. The qualified are working the underprepared are not. But the business cycle is going to keep going and leave Nirvana and move into Autumn very soon.
I have a couple of questions for you about your own current level of resilience.
a) Would you handle things better if you have some HELP?
You can sell with very little support. You will find it almost impossible to succeed as an entrepreneur without someone’s help. This is why “Mom and Pop” shops have always fared pretty well. Two people working toward the same goal in harmony will invariably win.
Together two dedicated people can do FAR MORE than what one person can. There are exceptions. But as a rule, everyone needs real and active support in their project.
If you’re putting in 10 hours per day on your project, you probably need a partner who will put in 4 hours per day as well. Someone who will take care of details while you sell and market (or vice versa).
What kind of help do you think would make a difference?
Most people have strengths in a few areas that others don’t. Some things are a lot easier to learn to do than others. Entrepreneurs on average need someone to pay the taxes, return the calls, do customer service, answer customer questions, while they sell and market. This match seems to work best. AS A RULE: The entrepreneur shouldn’t be answering the phone. That has to be the job of the person not moving 100 miles per hour. This kind of 10/4 team can succeed…
Try and identify all those factors that are or could prove detrimental to your taking successful steps towards achieving your goal. Resilency is often similar to getting hit in the face 247 times while publishers reject you around the country…until you finally find ONE that will publish your book.
More importantly, be better prepared for similar adversities. The better prepared you are for handling problems, the easier it will be for you to deal with them and overcome them.
Preparation and planning are two core skills of all good salespeople and successful entrepreneurs.
Without P & P you have ZERO chance at being resilient.
There are three things that will cause you pain in the next year.
a) Other people will say bad things about you and do bad things to you.
b) Random bad stuff happens in life…often and sometimes in streaks.
c) You often cause your own problems.
Prepare now for all three!
Literally write those three things down on a piece of paper and ANSWER how you will plan to fight those problems off and prepare to recover. People who do THIS are likely to succeed and be highly resilient.
2) Be a Tracker
How would you know precisely where you stand in terms of achieving your goals if you do not keep track of your successes and failures.
Failing is a good thing, by the way…REALLY!…it means that you attempted full out and simply didn’t get the book published with the first 247 publishers. (You know that story right?!)
Each time you learn that something didn’t work. What was it? It might be as simple as framing.
“You can know I will sell this book because I have attempted 247 times and failed getting a book contract but I never quit. I just realized I didn’t know how to write a proposal. Then I learned to do that and voila, here I am. You already know I do not give up.”
Make a schedule and project list and keep recording your progress compared to this schedule. Keep a journal and record what you managed, what you missed, why you missed and what you are going to do about it.
Feel free to write any other thoughts that you are having related to that outcome, feedback that you have received or just some encouraging words to yourself.
I like seeing hand written journals because they never go down with the computer… People who journal in a computer… well good luck with that…
3) Find the Other Smart and Successful People and Hang Out with Them
Engage with people who are on a similar course, that have an unyielding work ethic, strong personal and business ethics, and understand how they are going about achieving their outcomes.
They are probably facing the same problems as you are and you can ask them and find out what they are doing to overcome them.
However: Don’t ask people who have not competed at an Olympic level in SOME part of life, for advice in winning the Olympics.
There are people that can help you but most won’t have a clue and you can’t afford to hang out with the ignorant in life or business.
If you want to be a millionaire, hang out with millionaires. Want great kids? Hang out with people who are astute parents.
If you can speak to people who have been down your road already, you will be able to find tons of support and encouragement. You will also find different perspectives, which often make even the biggest of problems manageable.
Be on purpose to make other people’s life better. If you do just this one thing, life is MUCH easier for you.
4) Keep Moving….Until….
“Move along.”
It’s a simple sentence I share with most people often enough. You cannot dwell on how she screwed you over. You can’t be upset for too long because you got fired. You can’t go crazy for more than a few days because your child got in trouble.
Take care of the problem INSTANTLY and MOVE ALONG.
Easier said than done? You bet. You can only do this instantly where others are involved IF you have a prior agreement with them to do so!
Most people find it familiar to wallow in the most recent life drama that ran into their life path.
Move along…
Life is all about learning and moving forward. As you try to achieve, you will learn new things. Move forward quickly as NOTHING gets BETTER while you wait. All that happens when you wait is that you get several other dramas piled on your current drama that has been thrust in your path. It becomes overwhelming to fight off 10 dragons.
Life is also all about moving backward, then redoubling your efforts and getting back to it again…and moving along.
Sometimes you discover you need to learn a new skill. Do it.
Sometimes you realize you need help. Ask for it NOW.
Sometimes you get discouraged. Call the RIGHT person and ask for 10 minutes of lashing to get you MOVING.
Anyone can move when the wind is at your back. It’s what happens when you’re walking into the wind that matters to me most.
5) Be a Vital Part of the World
Whatever may be the case, there will be hundreds like you who are trying to understand how to deal with similar problems as you are facing or at least understand ways in which they can be dealt with. Try to help them out. Give back to the community that had helped you and supported you as you went around trying to achieve your goals.
It is uplifting to be valuable to someone. Even if your project is failing, taking some moments and helping another do something important can give you more energy than any pep talk.
Here’s the deal: Even if you do not know who is going to help or how it is going to help, make sure you spread whatever YOU have figured out in life among as many people as appreciate you.
6) Reward Your Self When You Have Earned It
Biggest disaster in life? Rewarding behaviors in your Self or Others You Do Not Want Replicated
If you go buy the latest phone because you feel the need for retail therapy and you have not EARNED the latest phone, you are SCREWED.
Do NOT reward behaviors you must eliminate or adjust until you have succeeded with the behavior. This may seem like simple psychology and it is, but people train themselves to fail each and every day. And they do.
Most people indulge in self reward far too quickly.
Some people never reward themselves.
Once you have achieved a major outcome, reward yourself.
Make sure the reward is significant.
Include those closest to you in your win.
Make sure you make time to reward yourself, as that is as important as having achieved the outcome itself.
7) After Scoring…. Get Back on the Field
People who get back on the field after a) they score or b) the world scores against you….ultimately *win.*
Once you have finished your first set of projects, you may be tempted to kick back. That’s like swimming part way to shore.
Immediately get moving on the next projects required to meet your short and middle term needs.
You can enjoy every moment in life if you have friends and family you can share them with. And to build healthy relationships, you should have a healthy outlook on life. Starting with you, see how you can improve yourself and relationships that are important to you.
Don’t reward yourself for writing Chapter 1. Reward yourself when the book is completed. Reward yourself when the book is done being edited and is submitted. Reward yourself for BIG ACTIONS and you will train yourself to take and master BIG ACTIONS.
8) Become a Better You
Have an open and curious mind.
Sometimes it’s worth being like a kid again.
Be curious about new things and ask yourself the many questions a child would. Avoid having a rigid approach or a closed mind.
This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Here’s an example of how you can put this into play today. When someone says something and you agree or disagree strongly, ask, the person, “How did you come to think like that?” Instead of thinking you’re both geniuses or that she is an idiot, you find out HOW they came to believe…or at least you have them making up a process that may not have existed. In either case, you validate that person!
Open yourself to the: What? How? Why? Who? When? Keeping an open mind will help you see things differently than what you might have.
We all tend to filter stuff out by our current beliefs, attitudes and experiences.
Every now and then do stuff that makes you uncomfortable because it is unfamiliar.
New experiences cause you to be aware of the world other people live in. It’s not always pleasant or desirable but it allows you to have greater understanding, knowledge and empathy.
Do that and you WILL become a better you.
9) Figure Out WHO You Are and WHO You Want TO BE
Define your values and principles. What are the things that you value most in your life? What bugs you the most? What causes you the most pleasure and what is at the root of the most hurt?
These questions and the answers to these will make you aware of who you are and how you are living in this world. Go through all your answers and see which ones surprise you and which don’t. Is there anything you can do to create experiences and participate in events that cause you less frustration?
Think of possible solutions and work on them.
Discipline yourself to always stick to your WELL CONSIDERED & CHOSEN values and principles, regardless of their consequences.
People are attracted to authentic people with integrity.
Become consistent.
10) Be UP for Change
Be up, ready and prepared to change.
You may want to have a better life; you may even have worked hard on your plan to achieve in life.
There are ALWAYS *comfort sacrifices* when you evolve as a person.
Have what it takes to make those *comfort sacrifices.*
Mentally prepare yourself for the compromises that you will make if you are aiming for better outcomes in your life.
11) Respect Your Self BECAUSE of 1-10 Above
People who do 1-10 are worthy of admiration, adoration and love.
That’s you.
Do it.
As you move through life, respect others, respect yourself. They SHOULD feel the same. (They won’t at first!)
Self respect is earned. Narcissism is not self respect it is an illusion that doesn’t allow for calculating whether the individual has done well or not. Thus it facilitates a sub par human as they have no standards for the self, only the desire to be served.
12) Say, “Good Job!”
This one is for me. In the movie Hancock, he has to learn how to say “Good Job.”
Sometimes I simply assume people will do X because it was obvious and was what needed to be done.
Good job, lets the other person know…that YOU recognized their latent intelligence.
Trust me on this one…
Print the 12 out and put it by your computer for say…12 days.
Cool?
Good Job!
I’ve identified 12 of the life patterns which cause us to trip up – and make the same mistakes again and again. To discover which of the 12 patterns you have been the victim of and how to eliminate self-sabotage in your life (or those of your clients) you can pick up the program below.
Lifestorms: 12 Obstacles to Achievement: The Paradox of Overcoming Self Sabotage to Achieve Love, Power, Money and Happiness.
by Kevin Hogan
3 CDs in this program – and it comes with a BIG WORKBOOK! And now, get a free Lifestorms DVD presentation with your order!
Discover why life often brings you exactly what you don’t want…and how self sabotage can hide around every corner. Some people have guessed at the bizarre nature of self sabotage. Guess no more. Self sabotage is very real in everyone’s life. It is completely devastating and 100% resolvable!
- Do you ever know you should start on a project but don’t?
- Do you have projects that you have started but never finished?
- Do you ever say the one wrong thing at the wrong time?
- Have you ever had things going well in life only to have everything blow up in a day?
- Have you tried to be so careful not to make a mistake that you were shocked when you made a truly costly one?
- Have you ever promised yourself to stay out of trouble in some way only to find yourself in the same trouble or worse again?
Now you can discover your own life patterns so you can eliminate unconscious self sabotage immediately. This program will break the heavy chains that hold you from your dreams and your goals.
This program is the first program ever made public that shows you how to identify specific self sabotaging behaviors and negative life patterns. Better? You can ultimately erase those life patterns and rewrite new “schemas” into your brain that will allow you to meet your goals and experience fulfilling relationships.
Here is what you will learn:
- How to identify which of the 12 negative life patterns you live.
- How to find the triggers of the lifestorms that you just can’t believe you experience.
- How to change the self sabotage into success, happiness or something productive.
- How to remove almost all obstacles between you and your goals.
- How to understand those around you so you don’t push their buttons.
- How to predict your behavior and that of others.
- How to actually achieve your goals so they are more than just a dream.
No one anywhere has ever put such a program on CD. There is not one person anywhere who can’t utilize every minute of this insightful information. These three CD’s are packed with the most powerful tools for getting past life’s roadblocks and personal sabotage ever imagined. Anyone can utilize this information and I personally guarantee that if you follow the instructions you will not experience self sabotaging behavior anymore. Your goals become reality at speeds faster than you ever imagined.
