Zig Ziglar said to not be a SNIOP. That means not be Susceptible to the Negative Influence of Other People. I couldn’t agree more.
But I don’t want you to be a SOOP either.
That’s someone who is Susceptible to Opinions of Other People in general.
YOU need to determine whose opinions matter to you and whose don’t. In fact, this is one of the most important factors in success.
YOU need to determine the handful of people whose opinion you will seek out and heed.
Finding “like-minded people” is fine, but I’m not only talking about that. I’m talking about finding people who will disagree with you, who will challenge you, who will bop you on the head when you do stupid stuff that you don’t recognize.
If all you do is hang out with other people who want to zen out, you are screwed. Support is important but far more important is being able to tell most of the world to go to hell while you go on your life journey that you have designed.
And your advisers, mentors and coaches don’t get paid to be sweet to you. They get paid (even if you aren’t paying them) to kick you in the butt, in a direction you’ve asked them to kick, even when you don’t feel like being kicked.
NOW you are on your way!
There is a monster-sized problem with the majority of success-minded individuals and the way they approach achievement, motivation and their individual goals and desired lifestyle.
If you are a person who dreams of success but find yourself wanting, wandering and wondering about what to do to achieve your goals, desires and dreams OR if you keep “doing things” that do not produce the results you wish …
Your unspoken secret that is blocking your life journey is the fact that you care too much what people think about you.
End of story.
However, there’s more you should know …
There are some people whose opinions NEED to matter to you.
The person who writes you your check.
The person who hires you.
You don’t live alone on the planet, but you sure don’t have to live in fear of other people’s opinion of you.
If you are held back by lack of (or timid) action, fear of failure or any other issue that may cause you embarrassment or fear of ridicule, then you have a problem with caring too much about the other person’s thoughts more than you care about success.
Think about your finances.
Do you give in to the “going out” when you know you don’t have the cash? Do you buy big expensive things like cars to make sure you don’t look like the “outsider” while all the while your money situation is totally out of control?
You care too much what others think.
What do you want?
- Do you want to lose weight?
- Do you dream of building wealth?
- Do you desire a great relationship?
- Are you trying to succeed by promotion in your career?
If you let the VALUE you place on the opinions of other people get in your way, you’ve screwed up big time and the fact is that until you see this, you won’t accomplish anything (even if you have ‘The Secret’)
The solution to caring what others think is easier said than done. But there is a way within your mind that you can make it much more of a reality. And with some practice, you’ll be much more respected for your achievements.
Here are a few ways to stop caring too much about what others think.
1. Take a stand.
There’s an old saying that goes “If you don’t stand for something, then you’ll fall for anything”. That is one of the most profound statements that I have ever heard. The fact is if you don’t stand up for your convictions, your passions, you’ll wimp out and fold when you are challenged.
Take a stand.
Know why you take a stand.
Know your position on what you believe and know why you take that position.
Do NOT just believe something because you heard it somewhere and your friends seem to believe it. Taking a stand is more than being someone’s parrot.
Be an individual and you’ll make a powerful impression.
2. Take directed, continuous and big steps.
When you have firmly claimed your passions and convictions to the point you will fight for them no matter who differs in your opinion, you are ready to take massive action toward your goals, desires and dreams. The hardest part will be growing the backbone to stand up for your convictions (if you don’t have that type of personality). But once you have reached that point, it is extremely easy to take massive action toward your dreams.
In fact, no one will seriously get in your way.
You will find more people that are willing to help you get to where you want to go. Why?
Because you are living what you are meant to live. You are passionate about what you believe. You will indirectly command respect and you will eventually find a following. You will find a following because most people don’t know what they believe and they jump at the first opportunity to follow a passionate, firmly rooted, passionate individual. That is you.
3. Define Yourself.
You will not reach your destiny without being true to yourself.
You will not fulfill your destiny without knowing who you are.
The first step is to do just like you would if you wanted to master anything else.
You must practice. You must constantly be aware of who you are, what you are doing and why you choose to act or react in any given situation. Are you choosing your behavior or is it dictated by what others may think?
You must define yourself.
As Shakespeare said, “To Thine own Self be true.” If you’re not, there are difficult roads ahead to success.
And once you’re on the proverbial journey and MOVING, you’ll begin to build momentum.
4. Gain Momentum.
Athletes sometimes call it “the zone.”
Even some circles in the business world call it the zone. The zone is another way of expressing a feeling of what really is momentum.
Momentum can be described as a heavenly cloud that carries you floating to your desired goal. When you experience a success momentum, it will seem like nothing can go wrong, no matter what you do. It’s going DOWN hill with the wind at your back.
Have you ever known anyone like that?
(If you were not experiencing momentum at the time, there’s a good chance that person made you sick!…and don’t worry that’s human nature, too!)
The zone or momentum or whatever you want to call it is a state of mind. It’s a way of life. You must live there to be really successful in all areas of your life.
Okay. I know what you’re thinking.
How do you get there and stay there?
Do you really believe it’s possible to achieve that kind of momentum? Or do you really believe that kind of success and momentum is for other people?
That is a REAL question. Think about it before giving the knee jerk answer.
Here are some questions you can answer to guide you toward that success momentum.
Answer them after, and only after, you really think about them …
Questions to Ask Yourself to Gain Momentum
- What is your value?
- Can you truly achieve success in life, business, relationships, etc.?
- Do you believe in yourself enough to be able to carry out purpose-centered goals?
5. Develop a plan for a Positive Purpose and Drive for Momentum.
Use these questions to develop a sense of self first.
If you sincerely want to pursue a further momentum, you can do step six:
6. Set an “Action Accountability Force”.
This will be the force that you set up that holds you accountable.
Develop a set of actions that will force you to develop a success momentum. Find a partner that will hold you accountable.
This person will also be your cheerleader and, maybe even your coach. Before you know it, you’ll need that person less than when you start out.
But it’s a good idea to always have this kind of person on your team … forever … because momentum does stop and sometimes reverses itself … and, the fact is, other people can see a lot about you that you can’t see yourself.