Copyright 2003 by Kevin Hogan
Fear can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Fear, real or imagined stops you in your tracks and then sets you back. Discovering whether the fear is real or imagined and then acting accordingly is a key to achievement in every aspect of your life.
Imagine: You are given a job when the economy is good and you “fear” you might lose it when the economy is poor. Is that fear real or imagined? The answer is: it depends. If you are easily producing far more value than the company pays you, you have nothing to fear (except the possible demise of the company itself). The fear experienced is an illusion. If however someone produces little more than someone is paid… or less than someone is paid then the fear is very real and they know precisely what options are out there. (Become more productive, look for other work, etc.)
This is one of the first pieces of the puzzle of breaking the illusion of fear and living dynamically….
But…what about, “A Curse?”
It was fear. Nothing more. Nothing less.
The Cubs and The Red Sox. There are no curses except the curses you place in your own imagination…and that imagination can turn a golden glove infielder into a bumbling ball player…a Cy Young Award candidate into a Pitcher who can’t throw strikes. Nothing cursed the Cubs or the Sox. Nothing but fear.
The illusion is powerful. You watch the game and even when both teams were winning their games with only two innings to go, you “know” that they can’t win even though they have a big lead and their best pitcher in the game. And indeed the pictures which they allowed themselves to be drilled into their heads brought them the precise fate they attempted to avoid because there was no other picture in the mind to at least offset the fate.
If fear is in the mind, it is in the heart and the fear will materialize…it won’t wait for you to find it. Fear puts your entire being on red alert and if the fear is not real, you certainly don’t know it…you simply run.
You and I live and experience these same kinds of fears everyday. Perhaps someone stays at a job they hate because they fear not “finding” something better…even though there are millions of others available. Perhaps the fear is not beginning the program you know you must for fear that you will face the unknown and fail. Or worse…succeed! Then how will you justify all of the things you said about people who have money?
We fear loss of money, loss of loved ones, death, illness, terrorism and a host of other things real and imagined. Interesting: The greatest fear in the developed world is the fear of public speaking….but it really isn’t that, is it? No, let’s call it what it is: The fear of humiliation.
When you stand in front of someone…or a group… you are evaluated, graded, scored, critiqued, and sometimes verbally heckled. You are under the microscope with people looking at your face, your body, your hands, your feet, and examining everything about you…as if you were a magazine cover. The magazine cover fears nothing when it is put back on the shelf. It is not humiliated. The person filled with these incredibly fearful feelings can be humiliated and imprinted for life in seconds.
The fears that have been programmed into your mind that serve you no value must be rewired in the neurology of the brain. Remember that fear is an outcome. A result. A reaction. A response.
a) Stimulus. (Gun pointed at you. You sense you might lose your job. You hear something outside. You think the plane is unsafe. You feel you might fall from the high balcony….Something happens real or imagined…)
b) Response: You feel fear or anxiety or panic.
c) Action. (You scream, lash out, run away, behave foolishly.)
The stimulus…you cannot change. The response and the action you can. And, by changing either or both the response and/or action you rewire the fear.
At it’s most simple level, fear is praying…and ultimately getting what you pray for.
You and I are here on this planet for a very short period of time. If fear has a grip on even one aspect of your life, you cannot truly live. If you can help someone break through their fears…and give them the greatest gift in the world…do it today.
The Three Disciplines: Personal Mastery, Charisma, Self-Discipline with Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
Discipline: “training, activity or regimen that develops or improves a skill”.
There are many levels of excellence in life. Personal Mastery is a discipline that is developed over time and with experience; and with the help of the skill of Self-Discipline. The two work together to bring you to a level of excellence. Charisma and personal magnetism allow you to interact with others at a level of excellence and influential elegance that makes you the “go-to” person, the expert, the one in demand. For the first time, the Three Disciplines are offered as a package. 2 high quality digital audio CDs are dedicated to each area, for a total of 6 CDs plus a complete manual to accompany you on your journey.