“I’ll think about it.”
In selling you hear those four words a lot. (Everyone does!) You also hear those four little words in every other aspect of your life. What do those words REALLY mean?
Have you failed somehow? Why do people respond with those words or something very close when the answer to the question or response to the proposal is glaringly obvious?
It means they don’t “feel” right in at least one way. They can’t quantify it because it is a feeling (or feelings) so you better be prepared!
Emotions in Selling
Let’s look at “feelings” and what they mean in the persuasion process.
The pendulum swings back and forth. At each moment in time it’s a slightly different place than it was just a fraction of a second before. And so it goes until it stops…where? Right back in the middle… “I don’t know.” “Maybe.”
The unconscious mind runs off of survival instincts, sometimes with success, sometimes not.
The unconscious mind is very different from the conscious mind. It runs on autopilot. Basically a stimulus/response mechanism that adapts along the way…but slowly. The conscious mind is that “computer”, if you will, that thinks, calculates, and can make a decision. But those decisions come at a cost. The unconscious is often drawn in many different directions, not just one or two and to cut off any option is a threat to the freedom of the being.
(Write that down.)
This will be referred to, by people as, “I have a bad feeling,” “I’m not sure,” “I don’t feel comfortable,” and so on.
Eliminating choices to a human (and many other animals) can be quite an experience. You and I hate to see that freedom say, “goodbye.” And for good reason.
While there are options (escape routes), there is comfort in the status quo. When there is comfort in the status quo (what’s going on today), there is seemingly little reason to change. Many animals hunt other animals with this fundamental principle as the guiding principle. “Let them feel secure, safe, then kill.” Sun Tzu may have even written about it.
People want to “feel good,” and “feel comfortable” so they can live in the illusion that they are “happy,” when of course the delusion will be shattered in short course. There is no relationship between “feeling comfortable” today and long-term happiness. I would suggest the opposite..but…
Is it Ethical to “Close”?
…is going for the “yes” response like going for the “kill?” That seems…so wrong!
And it would be if you were going to kill someone.
Unfortunately, most people perceive every change from the status quo as a threat to their survival, at the unconscious level.
Someone wants to quit smoking cigarettes, for example. Now at the conscious level that is a no-brainer. Lung cancer will chew you up and spit you out. But at the unconscious level, the smoking is behaviorally wired into the brain as an adaptation. Just like overeating. You wonder why so many people that live in poverty are grossly obese? They want to FEEL GOOD and they want the most important choice they have to not be taken away. Think you can change that using conventional thinking? Not likely. It has nothing to do with “sense” or “logic.” Someone’s feelings will challenge all of your persuasive communication and in fact that is just about ALL communication.
Take away the option of smoking, and the being goes nuts inside. Anxiety hits stellar levels. Take away the option of choosing more food and the being once again goes nuts inside.
Feelings are the Muck of Life
They know they shouldn’t FEEL this way, but they do. In Hale Dwoskin’s book, The Sedona Method, he shares Levenson’s tools for letting feelings of fear, anger, shame, resentment and grief …go. Why? Because feelings are the muck of life. They kill the being. They are the unreliable indicators that destroy lives. And when you feel bad AND your life is going to heck, you have a double dose of disaster. Most people really believe they should “trust their feelings.” If you do, you are destined for more than failure in all aspects of your life. You will never persuade or be persuaded of something you currently don’t experience. In other words, you will remain S.Q. for the rest of your life.
Feelings aren’t a barometer of the quality of life. They aren’t a barometer of good and bad, (long-term) happiness or sadness even…
What ARE Feelings?
Feelings are a barometer of the unconscious mind’s past experiences and genetic programming which, more often than not, need to be changed.
Keypoint: And when you are attempting to persuade someone, you can bet that the person’s conscious mind will analyze your offer and come up with a fairly quick rational decision followed immediately by a flood of anticipated regret if they decide to do what you ask. So they say yes then they “feel no.”
Now the person doesn’t trust you. And they…think…it’s you! You’re manipulating them. Really?
What Makes People Buy?
Ever see someone buy a $25,000 vehicle right after they quit their job? They needed to fill the option void that would likely exist upon further review. Everyone knows that once you buy it, it’s yours in the car biz. So, they buy today BECAUSE they won’t have the money tomorrow. Makes no sense because sense doesn’t come into play. It’s all instinct and behavioral shaping of the unconscious mind that causes people to FEEL. As soon as they feel STRONGLY, then everything can quickly go to heck, unless something is done and fast.
People’s gut instinct took the Twin Towers down. People’s feelings caused the train to be blown up in Chechnya. They were sure their feelings were “right.” They trusted their gut, and “knew” they were “doing the right thing.” History only repeats itself every few days or years. In 1999 people were saying “this time it’s different” because they felt the greed and euphoria of getting rich fast in the stock market. Um, it’s not different. Do not trust those feelings ever. When Saddam gives you the big smile you can trust him, but just let the mustache remind you of Adolph. You really want a guy on the run who kills his own people for sport? Feelings. They felt totally in the right.
Remember that the next time someone tells you they don’t “feel right” or “have a bad feeling.”
Here’s the reality principle:
Life: It really is all about persuasion.
People must go up one level from feelings to thought and take control of their lives. Part of that is all about being persuaded (changing) and persuading (causing change).
Almost every time you open your mouth, you want someone to do something for you.
You want them to say “yes” to you, “no” to the competitor and do business just with you.
You want the girl to go out with you, dump her boy friend and be eternally devoted to you.
You want the guy to marry you, massage your feet, and bring home the bacon.
You want them to hold the mayo, bring you a fork, and change your $100 bill.
You want them to pick up their clothes, turn the music down and study.
It’s all about persuasion.
I could show you a lot of books that have some pretty funny ideas about what gets people do things. Sometimes they work, sometimes they rarely work, sometimes they just end up making you look…well…dumb.
My outcome for you is to be able to persuade almost anyone to do almost anything in less than eight minutes.
Now, here’s the rub.
I can show you how to get that sale, almost any sale. Once.
I can show you how to get that girl, almost any girl. Once.
I can show you how to get the kids to listen. Once.
I can show you how to get great service. Once.
But…after you have that first “yes”, your personality and who YOU are becomes crucial. Getting the first “yes” is the toughest. Getting the second is easier, but it’s a different ball game completely.
Once someone has knowledge about you in a certain area or a certain way, you have to utilize a number of new strategies to get to “yes,” again. And, of course, I’ll give you tips along the way about how to do just that. Nevertheless, the Science of Influence is about getting the “tough” yes. It’s all about converting her from him to you. About getting them to switch from them to you. About getting compliance NOW. And you will be able to do it.
I was too.
You have to deal with the feelings. You have to get people’s feelings positively linked to you. Real or illusion, if you have the answer to their problem, the solution to their challenge, you must create positive feelings in that person or you will end up with wider swings of oscillation.
You have to assume that people will feel regret or anticipate the feeling of regret and prepare them for that outcome.
The Decision Pendulum
You absolutely must realize that at any moment people are on the pendulum between the conscious mind response which is probably correct, and their feelings which are probably all over the map trying to “make sense” of your proposal or offer.
You must get commitment and reinforce the person’s decision as a good one.
When you have commitment, in most cultures you have psychological pressures from the inside that almost obligate the person to move forward with what they have agreed to. Hopefully you represent the best product, service, idea…person in the area you excel in. As you become a Master of Influence you truly gain a valuable power that can bring on compliance rapidly in almost all situations.
The Science of Influence is the place to begin. What makes the Science of Influence different from every other program about persuasion? This material is fresh, potent, tested, and has nearly all of what you will discover is new! There is no rehash of past salespeople or scholars.
Science of Influence Master’s Home Study Course (12 CDs)
with Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
This program is the culmination of years of selling synthesized with the last five years of academic research into compliance gaining, persuasion and influence. You won’t find a program like this, designed for you, anywhere else.