You will only do what you are confident that you can do. You will only accomplish what you are confident you can accomplish….and you can accomplish a great deal as long as you have unshakable confidence.
I want to show you a couple of powerful strategies that will boost your confidence permanently.
227 pounds. February 3, 2004.
It was scary one week later when I saw the videotape of the presentation I gave. The presentation was stellar. The picture on the frame was not. I had gained 30 pounds in 2003. I paid no attention to my weight. I was back into size 40 pants.
I was disgusted, disappointed, disoriented and every other “d” word you can think of.
I’m not a “work out” kind of guy. My idea of a workout is typing or talking faster…
There is only one way I can lose weight and it’s precisely how I did it in 1997 when I was 225 pounds and within one year dropped to 188.
I knew I had to do something where I would be accountable to my toughest critic. Me.
Each day I would write down the calories/food I was going to eat before I ate it. I would record faithfully, every day…for a long, long, long time. I didn’t know if I could do it in 1997…until I did it. I have a voracious appetite. Weight loss was never something that I had successfully dealt with…but this worked.
Each day I wrote down the number of calories I was going to eat before anything went in my mouth. Never in arrears. That’s how Enron went broke and fat people get fatter. I knew I had to take responsibility in advance. Be honest to myself. It would be a long journey. And one year later, I was at 188. I took 37 pounds off the body and I was in 34 pants. Then about six months after hitting 188, I thought, “Hey, I don’t have to keep these daily logs any more…” And then 18 months later I was back in the 210 range…again.
It’s so easy to put food in your mouth. It takes a bit of accountability to keep it out of your mouth.
So, February 11, I began …again. 227 pounds. My medical Doctor said, “We could always get a stapler and staple your lips shut.”
I reminded him how I made my living.
I told my daughter of the conversation. She stood up next to me, took her left hand, put it on my chest and then brought it down like a knife when it hit my stomach. The hand stopped right there.
“You’re fat, Dad.”
I raised her to always be honest and have integrity. (Sigh.)
So…I grabbed the pen and paper. And here is what I did…
Not only did I write down how many calories I would eat before doing so, I would collect the weeks total and write the average daily consumption down on the next sheet I would use. It proved I did it last week…I could do it this week…
Today is 211 days later. My weight today is 193. Now, that isn’t “thin.” I’m still five pounds or more overweight. It’s taken 211 days to get 34 pounds off this body. And I know that I will once again hit 188. Why? Because I’m accountable on paper, to my kids, to myself and now to YOU. Accountability.
Now, will I stop the tedious annoyance of prerecording the volume of food I take in? Someday I imagine I will. But right now there is no question that 188 will happen. Probably another two months away. It isn’t a race. When I do get there…I will stay there for quite some time. There is no doubt in my mind that the result would happen. I had done it before. When I began the last time I knew I could do it because weight is about math. Burn more than you take in. Not rocket science.
Confidence is about accountability.
When you set a goal, decide on an outcome, predetermine your result, you must be accountable to yourself, the record and preferably to someone else…whose opinion matters. Someone who can praise you when you succeed and get on your case when you start to lose.
As soon as you decide to be accountable to any or all the above, you have made the first step toward experiencing unwavering self confidence.
Every week people decide to go to the store and get groceries. They decide to put gas in the car. They decide to take a shower, go to work and do all kinds of things.
Then when it comes to something that they really want but has not yet become a ritual (like getting gas when the gas tank is empty)…they fail.
Why? Because they aren’t accountable for the actions.
No groceries? Kids get upset.
No gas? Your boss gets upset. You don’t get paid.
No shower? No one you want near you…will go near you.
You are instantly accountable.
But starting your own business? Doing something that will actually create a life you want to live?
There is no accountability. No one notices. No one knows you want something special for YOU.
So, you safely let it go. Safe from everyone else but not from yourself.
Your confidence shrinks. You don’t want to create a life. You want someone to give you a job.
Or you see the protester in the streets instead of at the job interview. You see the person “on strike” instead of in a class where they can learn to be responsible and accountable to themselves. Accountability is on the other side of the spectrum from entitlement.
The reason people want to believe they are entitled to something is because they have zero self confidence to be accountable.
No accountability = Failure
People ask me all the time, “How do you create all those programs and write all those books?”
Answer: I read thousands of articles, books, monographs and experience life as well as spectate it.
“No, how do you DO it?”
“Oh. It’s like having lunch. You don’t think about it. You just do it. It’s like kissing your kids good night. You just do it. If you don’t, you’d feel terrible.”
“No, how do you do IT?”
“I don’t go to bed until IT is done.”
“What if you get writer’s block?”
“I don’t let myself get writer’s block.”
“What if you run out of things to say?”
“That’s impossible. The fields I work in are evolving at light speed. The competition is sleeping and I’m moving at the speed of light with the field. I won’t put out rehashed work. It’s what is happening and working today…there is no other alternative. Be the best or why play?”
“But what about vacation??”
“I’m doing what I choose to do, where I want to do it. I refuse to do otherwise unless it is absolutely necessary (bookkeeping/paying taxes). Isn’t that what a vacation is?”
As soon as you come to the “great aha” that tells you that the gulf between your life today and your life tomorrow is the Rule of Accountability…and very little else, you begin to become the master of your life and develop Personal Mastery. (Check out the program, “The Three Disciplines” if this sounds incredible to you.)
There is more to Self Confidence than accountability, but without accountability, there is NO self confidence and only one possible outcome. Failure.
The Three Disciplines: Personal Mastery, Charisma, Self-Discipline with Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
Discipline: “training, activity or regimen that develops or improves a skill”.
There are many levels of excellence in life. Personal Mastery is a discipline that is developed over time and with experience; and with the help of the skill of Self-Discipline. The two work together to bring you to a level of excellence. Charisma and personal magnetism allow you to interact with others at a level of excellence and influential elegance that makes you the “go-to” person, the expert, the one in demand. For the first time, the Three Disciplines are offered as a package. 2 high quality digital audio CDs are dedicated to each area, for a total of 6 CDs plus a complete manual to accompany you on your journey.