It sounds like “negative thinking” to a lot of people. At least before you think about it, it sounds negative.
Why not simply succeed and skip past the failure part?
After all, all you should have to do is MODEL SUCCESS and you will be a success!
And then that fails. (or how they THOUGHT “modeling” worked failed)
That’s pretty important and I’ll leave that loop open for you for the moment.
It’s really difficult to think of anyone who didn’t fail…a lot…before they succeeded. (No one is coming to mind.)
Can I tell you a secret?
People ask me, “How many books have you written?”
I stumble on this question.
I usually say 24, but that isn’t the truth. In other words, I’m lying. I don’t feel good about it.
The truth is 27 or even 28.
So why would I say 24 instead of 27?!?!?
Because before I wrote my first book that hit the market I wrote a cool fiction book about a virus that swept the globe only to have the most unlikely heroes save the day.
I never submitted it for publication.
Even recently, I have spent as much as almost two YEARS writing a book, and never even got it to print due to unforeseeable situations!
I loved writing the last book where this situation occurred. It was a blast. It was good.
I wrote two other books, back before,….which were really pretty good in my own mind…but I just couldn’t get behind them enough to go to a publisher and have them put them in print…imagining I could have gotten such a deal in the first place.
Then I wrote, The Gift.
I sold 1000 – 2000 copies of this book when it was released. Ironically it was released the same week as Kirk Douglas’s book by the same name. I did a non-book-signing at a bookstore near my home only to realize I was entering a very tough world.
The Gift is a really good book.
Once the book was liquidated I chose to not sell it any more but to give it away. And I’ve given away perhaps a million copies. You’ll see it on the front page of the website at Christmas time if I decide to do such a thing again.
2000 copies is a failure.
Then I wrote another book, which once in print, sold 1000 copies before I pulled the trigger a year later. Yes, it was a good book. It’s actually sought after nowadays by collectors. But the book essentially did nothing.
At this point my record was 3 books written and not published. Two books put into print that barely sold anything, as a self publisher.
That’s FIVE losses and it discouraging as heck.
Part of me, felt like a loser.
But I’ve always been bad at giving up. I can’t actually ever remember giving up…at much of anything. But this was getting ugly!
My record was 0 – 5.
ZERO wins. FIVE losses.
It took over 5 years to get that record.
Then I wrote, The Psychology of Persuasion. I finished in February 1991. It took FIVE MORE YEARS to get the book published by a name publisher and it was rejected 247 times before it FINALLY hit the shelf.
The book was in print almost TWO YEARS before it sold it’s 10,000 copy…but then it sold…because I got out there and did 3 things every single day to make that book sell.
I love the book.
I hated the fact that so many publishers said I had no chance as a writer.
I was sick of failing.
But within a few more years it was clear that, The Psychology of Persuasion, would be a pretty big winner. It changed a lot of people, governments, leaders, and a lot of celebrities lives.
My record was now 1 – 5.
Now I have a question for you.
If I told you it would take you 10 years of writing and rejection and failing and THEN you would succeed and in a respectable way…what would you do?
The publisher of The Psychology of Persuasion was excited about the book after it’s second year. Foreign publishers all over the world couldn’t wait to publish the book. Pretty soon the book was selling well in lots of different countries. It was pretty cool.
Since then of course you will recognize, The Science of Influence, Covert Hypnosis, Invisible Influence, Covert Persuasion, Irresistible Attraction…
So my answer to the question is usually 24 and I think to myself, “not counting the first three that never were bound or available for purchase…and the last one that got hung up in a disagreement.”
Legend Point? That is a LOT of failure before success. But the story ends well!
Now the question is was the failure REQUIRED?!
I mean, was there a better “way” to do everything?
Could I have knocked a decade down to 3 years if I worked with someone who had done it all for their entire life?
The answer of course, Yes.
It’s a painful question to answer.
But here is the thing.
If you don’t move through failure on the game board of life, you will not reach success.
Here’s the next question:
Why don’t people get what they want in life? Why aren’t they successful?
Lack of Blu Ray Clarity is the leading cause of not getting what you want in life.
Why is it that high definition clarity in goal setting seems to be a significant factor in getting what you want?
High Def Clarity allows you to have something you can experience in advance. It allows your brain to have something on it’s screen and then when you have FINALLY achieved that “thing”, your brain can match the two pictures and note that you have a MATCH.
How to Insure Goal Success…to Succeed
Why don’t most people lose weight AND keep it OFF?
How can you know that you’re going to lose weight and be certain to keep it off?
Key to making an actual achievable goal? It’s simpler than you think
Losing weight is tough.
Weighing 205 and deciding you will get to 195 is a basic project.
You see the digital read out of 205. It becomes obvious when 195 is there.
Sadly, too many people write books that encourage people to celebrate small victories like getting to 202 or maybe 199.
In a perfect and happy world, you’d see:
Sort of a “nice” and “cheery” way to see it.
But it doesn’t work.
As soon as the brain calculates significant progress to a goal has been achieved, say 199 – it will shut off and go get something else!
This is why it’s almost always worth seeing …
instead of the “sounds positive and perky:”
If you don’t like, or preferably HATE failing, you WILL eventually succeed.
But, who doesn’t like progress….?
The Clarity Key
Let’s say you like my story about the failures but you want to get to something more tangible in your life, like money.
You can usually tell a great deal about people’s real life by listening to their use of language as it relates to goals and desirable outcomes.
“Financial security” as a concept hoping to hit a real target… is just not possible.
“Make more money” is definitely not going to happen.
To acquire “financial security” requires defining “financial security.”
So how do you really hit the Financial Security Target?
Blu Ray Clarity
Ever hear people describe the “blacks” in Blu Ray?
In one sense I thought they were describing what isn’t there…and couldn’t really get the point.
I guess I really thought it was the craziest thing in the world until I recontextualized the statement and realized that yes, blacks can be captivating.
Key Point: Find out who has made mistakes in the acquisition of what you want or something analogous to what you want, and set up a detailed security system against that.
This wires into the Passive Goal Guidance System you and I have talked about previously.
Let’s use money instead of time or love as an example. Money is easier to measure though very difficult to wrap your mind around at the level of abstraction. Example: I assume the government won’t return my Social Security money to me when I retire. If I assumed they would my Passive Goal Guidance System would not even bother with saving or investments in the first place. Therefore, I plan as if it’s not even possible. I then plan that investments won’t pan out in any way.
Unlike pension funds, successful people plan for ZERO growth on stock and bond investments. Unlike pension funds successful people fully fund retirement accounts each year.
Think of financial security like this: You want, say, 10 years of minimal life support income (a half million dollars?) at retirement and a paid off house.
Keep this in mind and your passive goal guidance system is less likely to kick in to impulsive (costly) behaviors. Consider changing your thinking from “I know I’ll get it in the end,” to “I know I’ll need it and I don’t have it, so I will move forward until I do have it.”
People seem to be certain they can’t succeed. Or, if they believe they can, it’s absolutely ambiguous as to how it will happen. And they immediately give up.
…which is ridiculous.
90% of jobs won’t allow you to accomplish this simple and crucial “achievement”, but a carefully selected micro-business will.
Before going on, recognize that the PGGS will switch to tiny goals as soon as it a) has moved one or two steps toward ANY kind of a goal (including using the restroom, putting a dish in the dishwasher or making sandwich) b) as soon as moving toward a conscious goal (most goals are non-conscious) has been judged too difficult.Isn’t a micro-business is any kind of business that you can do at home. This is in fact the most common kind of business in the United States.
When you do the math, working at most but not all jobs is risky.
You have almost no control over your future.
The second barrier next to the PGGS is fear and uncertainty of that which is unfamiliar.
The basics of a micro-business, a Coffee Table business are pretty simple.
You want low expenses for your tiny business and you want a high probability of success of bringing in a modest amount of money.
The most impressive success stories you hear are from people who have no job and then strike it rich. Less common stories of success come from people who currently have a regular job where short term goals like paying the auto loan or credit card are consistently being met and the brain then shifts to other impulse goals several times each day.
I always tell people to keep their day job no matter how much they don’t like it, simply because training the brain to keep in mind what you don’t yet have is so counter to how humans process information.
On average it will take more time to succeed for the person who has a good old fashioned job when contrasted with the person who has almost no income coming in.
The failure trap that nearly everyone falls into .
Don’t Get Caught in the Moment – It’s a Trap
First of all, there are a couple of times where being “there” in the moment is a very good place to be!
But when it comes to planning life, getting things done, and succeeding in general, the moment can be a trap…a big trap.
Remember the Passive Goal Guidance System is constantly shifting your actions from impulse to counter impulse. Your body/brain is very comfortable when you it perceive that it is making tiny bits of progress toward a bunch of goals or outcomes of varying importance.
The reason people don’t get what they want is because they are compelled to be comfortable in each moment as the past moment has just passed.
Because the brain is constantly moving from micro-success (made a sandwich) to micro-success (used the restroom), it feels successful all the time. It “feels” comfortable with the certainty that the brain/body are moving “forward.” In reality of course the only thing that is happening is almost nothing…or nothing.
The brain senses it deserves the comfort.
And who could argue?
A person is capable of having or experiencing most of what they think they could have in their mind…but comfort brings a stiff message from the universe…
Anyone would prefer a vacation to, say, securing their future. Securing the future is what they say they want. They’d prefer to play than take care of their family….which is what they tell you they want.
The brain is laid out in such a way that when it “thinks about” (it really doesn’t think) achieving an outcome it then leaves that goal and moves onto a different goal (making a sandwich).
Only the mind can harness the brain to function in a more disciplined fashion.
That new behavior must come with clarity of outcome and overcoming the desire to move toward other goals.
Every Olympic athlete in an event imagines themselves winning the event. 50 skiers don’t win. One does.
Visualization can be helpful in some contexts but it is hardly the answer to success.
Knowing what you REALLY WANT, and
DO NOT WANT including all the black swans…and protecting yourself from those things… is more important than I can stress with a lot of CAPS and bold words…
Before you can get anywhere, you absolutely need to know where you are going, what’s in the way and how you’re going to get past all the messy disasters that await.
It sounds so darn simple, but when it comes to life goals or dreams, it’s not.
You might think, “I want my business to be a success,” or “I want to be happy.”
Those are nice aspirations…and…they get you nothing.
Why Defining Success and Failure Might Help…Maybe
Ask 10 different people to define success, or what will make them happy, and you’re going to get 10 different answers.
That’s why when it comes to getting what you want, the first step is to decide – specifically – what you want and don’t want in your life. Not in generalities, but in Blu Ray Hi Def Clarity.
Clarity goes far beyond, “I want to earn $300,000.”
$300,000 is difficult to comprehend for the brain. What does the brain see?
And what obstacles are on the way to nothing?
Right. Absolutely none.
Add a date.
“I want to earn $300,000 by January 2021
Monetary values like this are almost always abstract. Definitive dates typically don’t help abstractions become concrete.
Numbers and monetary representations are valuable in life but they don’t do anything for the average human brain.
All of a sudden it becomes obvious that succeeding has one more obstacle than you considered before.
So just what is this clarity that allows you and I to succeed and not fail?
The clarity that causes success is …
QUALITY OF LIFE
There’s not much more important than the quality of your minutes.
Maybe the only thing that matters more is love.
I suggest when defining your failure and success with clarity that you consider the number of minutes you get to love and the quality of your life when you are not loving.
In other words, I’m typing this article for you right now. I enjoy the process so long as you reap the rewards. I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t giving me a higher quality of life.
Here’s a fact: When you are busily engaged in whatever it is you do all day, you are either creating Quality Life Time in your future, or you are not.
Clarity means creating a laser guided missile into your future, determining all the steps, obstacles, alternate routes and carefully defining what and where the pitfalls are.
Why would you want to succeed vs. fail?
Success buys you a quality life with time for love both today AND in 30 years. Not succeeding buys you the quality of life you have today, but secures nothing for your future.
Success and failure.
Let’s erase these abstractions and make them real. I offer you these definitions for your consideration.
Success is living life YOUR WAY.
Failure is living life THEIR WAY.
Success means doing what you want to do most of the time. Failure means not doing what you want to do most of the time.
Success is the sum of the love, time and money you experience or give yourself and those you love. Failure is the amount of energy, time and money you pay someone you have no connection to.
Success is “giving” yourself time, love or money.
Hi Def Clarity has proven presuppositions. Blu Ray Blacks have a result that your brain can MATCH as the brain pursues and ultimately matches.
You think in your mind and on paper, you want to weigh 195 pounds. You currently weigh 205. You reduce your food intake as you get down to 195. (Or actually to 193 and then stay in that 190-195 range.)
You can match the result with the image. 195 = 195.
When do you break from relentless pursuit?
When 195 = 195.
Can you make it even more crystal clear, Kevin?
The Critical Factor
Hi Def Clarity is critical in goal-setting for several reasons:
- If you only have a general idea of what you want, you can only get a general idea of how to achieve it. It’s like driving: If you know you want to drive from Duluth to Dallas, you have a general idea of how to get there – and you may end up in the Mississippi River or on the wrong side of the tracks. But if you want to see Dallas, you can fine-tune your approach to get yourself exactly to the point you want.
- Hi Def saves time. You will intuitively be able to sort through opportunities that are presented to you and know immediately whether they are in line with your goals or not.
- He Def helps your mind create a vivid picture of what you want. Once your mind can picture it, it’s much easier to achieve it. Vivid. Crystal clear and set your brain to the task using the “UNTIL” switch. You pursue UNTIL and don’t deviate.
If you’re having trouble specifying what you want, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- What does it look like?
- How will you know when you’ve made it?
- When do you want to achieve this goal?
- What does it feel like, taste like, smell like?
- What would a day in your desired life be like, from the time you get up until the time you go to bed?
Write these answers down and revisit them as you work on projects that drive you to them. It never hurts to remind yourself of what you’re working toward!
Next, remind yourself that you have not made ENOUGH progress toward the outcomes you are choosing and that you WILL complete projects you’ve assigned for the day UNTIL they are done.
If you don’t?
You’ll get comfortable when you make a little progress. Your brain will switch to lizard mode and you’ll take “a break.”
It’s at that moment you can know one thing.
You won’t return…to the road to success.
Reserve your spot now!
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