Do you ever feel like you’re not completely in control…or worse… out of control? You…your life…people around you….
On the flip side, a challenging question….are you actually open to taking control and ownership of your own life if you could?
By being in charge of your own life, it can be a bit unnerving, but ultimately it will cause you to feel you have a greater sense of power and a lot more control over how your life will unfold.
There’s nothing wrong with letting people drive your bus (your brain) but you don’t want to get into the habit of handing the controls over 24/7.
Most people finally figure out that they are allowing other people to take all but complete charge and control of their lives. It is ridiculously easy to fall into this trap. If you find that you have yielded your life controls to other people and want them back…
Just for the heck of it…play along with me for a minute…
Check out some of the scenarios and see if you can see your self here.
- I confess that I can “be mean” to mean people. It bugs me when I see people hurting other people. When people say mean stuff to YOU, what is your response?
Do you always walk way and choose not to “stand up” for your self? Do you hold all of the pain inside, and never let the other person know they have said something and that now you hurt?
- You never give your opinion on anything. You are worried that if you speak your mind and tell others your opinion, they may think you are stupid or laugh at you.
- If somebody wants to do something that you don’t want to do, do you always go along with them like it or not?
- You feel compelled to have people give you consent or make you feel that it is okay before you take any action. You are an approval seeker. You are afraid to stand up and make a decision.
- You live your life just going along with everybody else. You have no structure for your own life. You are willing to go along with anybody else’s plan but have not got one of your own.
You have many goals and dreams, however you do not dare to act on them. You find yourself saying, “I can’t do that”. Because of this, you live in fear of ever trying anything new.
- You have many talents, but you are afraid to show your full potential. You find yourself going aimlessly through life and settling for less than you could be.
If any of the above statements sound true about you, then it is time for you to determine when you want to take control of your self and your life. You deserve better than to allow people to treat you poorly and you deserve to stand up for yourself.
It’s a scary but often true concept that we teach others how to treat us.
Obviously this isn’t always true, but sit and think about it for a minute….
It’s reality a good chunk of the time!
Listen, your opinion is important and you deserve to have it heard. You do not need other people’s approval or consent in all contexts of life in order to make a decision. Once you start making decisions on your own, you will start to feel better about yourself.
You deserve to have structure in your life and a plan of action to make your life more successful and enjoyable. You deserve to achieve your goals and dreams. Never tell yourself that you can’t do something. Most of the time, that is simply not true. Far more often than not, if you can see something in your mind, then you have it within you to achieve it.
Never be afraid to show people your full potential. Don’t allow other people to control you and make you fearful of ever trying anything new. The more you get out and try new things and achieve the things that you have been avoiding, the better you will feel about yourself. You have the ability within you to do many great things. It’s time to take control of yourself and become that person you know what is within you.
Be prepared to hear this from other people who are out of control in their lives:
“He’s a control freak.”
…in direct contrast to being an “out of control freak.”
OK, we’ve gotten that taken care of…
Understand And Get Control Of Your Feelings
In order to get control of your feelings, first you need to understand what makes you feel the way you do. You want to be able to understand why you handle any given situation the way you do. By knowing why you handle things the way you do, you can have better control of yourself.
Try this simple exercise to help you understand your feelings.
Sit upright in a comfortable chair and pay close attention to how different parts of your body feel. Pay attention to how you breathe. Do you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth? Is your breathing deep or shallow? Are there areas of your body feel tension? Just sit for a few minutes and become familiar with how your body reacts to sitting still in a chair.
Now pay close attention to any feelings, images or memories that come to your mind. What are these feelings telling you about yourself? Are you having positive or negative feelings? The more you get to understand your feelings, the more in touch with your emotions you become.
Take a few moments to acknowledge your feelings. If you are having “bad” feelings, realize it is okay to feel that at this time. Do not try to analyze your feelings right now. Just simply let your feelings come through.
If you’re feeling comfortable and at peace, just allow yourself to feel good. If you are feeling fear or anger, then allow yourself to discover what is causing this.
If you’re feeling pain, allow yourself to feel it and take note of what is causing the pain. Just let all your feelings come out and acknowledge them. By learning to understand your feelings, you can gain more self-control.
No matter what kind of feelings you are having, recognize that there is a reason for the way you are feeling. Gently ask yourself why you are feeling this way. Is there something happening that is causing you feel this way? Something in your potential conscious awareness?
Was there a noise or scent that reminded you of something that made you feel that way?
Do not try to understand your feelings at this point. Being aware, particularly self-aware, is what we’re looking for here.
The more you learn to recognize your feelings, the easier it is to figure out how to change them if needed.
OK, this sounds goofy but it’s a bit of self-hypnosis, so play along with me…Focus on the feeling you are having and express the feeling by making a sound that goes along with the feeling. You could scream, cry, take a deep breath, you could laugh or make any other sound that will express how you are feeling.
If you are feeling sad, you can recognize that and be okay with that. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotion you are feeling and then comfort or calm yourself.
Allow yourself to totally recognize why you are feeling the way you are and then allow yourself to let go of the feeling. The more you get to know yourself, the more you will be able to achieve total self-control.
Don’t expect this all to come instantly. If you’ve never done this before, it can be more challenging than it sounds.
In Order to Gain Total Self Control First You Must Decide What You Want From Life
How would you describe your optimal life? What are your hopes and dreams? Are you looking for friends and relationships? Do you want more money and a better lifestyle? Do you wish you had better health? Would you like a better or more challenging job?
Have you ever tried to make changes to any of the areas of your life you wanted to change and were unable to succeed? What things did you do that made it not work out for you, and what do you think you could do differently to make it work now?
Perhaps taking a different approach than you did the first time, you can succeed this time. Look at it from different angles and see if you can figure out ideas that will help you this go ’round.
No matter what it is that you want to do in order to have your best life, start working on the things it takes to make them happen.
If you want better health, what changes would you need to make in order to make this happen? If you want to have more money, but you have negative thoughts about it, figure out what is at the root of the self-sabotage.
If you would like a better job, what do you need to do in order to land it?
Take time to figure out all the different things you want and desire from your life and then write down everything you need to do in order to achieve these things.
By knowing what you want out of life, you are on your way to gaining self-control. If you know what you want, then go after it with everything you’ve got. Develop an attitude of near certainty that you will accomplish what you set out to do.
Develop your skills each day and work on yourself and your confidence will grow.
You hold the key to your success in your own hands. All you have to do is reach out and grab it. Take steps each day to work towards what you want out of life and each day will become a little easier and you will be a little closer to reaching your best outcomes…
Science of Influence
The Science of Influence Master Volume VI – Invisible Influence
Knowing What They Think and Who They Think You Are
Do you need to have listened to any of the previous CD’s to use this program?
No. It has been intentionally designed to be newcomer friendly.
For those of you who have only been “here” for a year or less, this program,
The Science of Influence Master Volumes 61-72 is my effort to “top” what
most everyone reports as their favorite of the Library, 49-60.
When I listened to it, I felt comfortable that this program
accomplishes that. 61-72 is superior.
This program is brand new, unreplicated material.
The field of influence and it’s subfield of persuasion continue to grow
with fresh research from the best minds on the planet.
More books about persuasion were published in the last three years
than in recorded history to date.
Almost all of these books were rehash of Cialdini, Carnegie, and
myself. There wasn’t really anything new.
But the persuasion and researchers….well that is a different story.
I had a “field day” this year stacking just shy of seven FEET of research.
I’ve synthesized this with results from dozens of real world applications.
Here’s some of what I’ve distilled from current research that you
can put into immediate use:
We learned a lot about the relationship of how people “feel about
products, services and people” and the mental shortcuts they use to
The first cluster of material I developed was about how people
connect with YOU when they buy from you.
So, Who Is Your Customer, Anyway?
What do they think?
How do they feel?
Does it matter?
So what? Can that be used for ANYTHING?
Turns out it can….
Identity in Persuasion
It’s in a cluster I call IDENTITY.
Identity research could fill 12 CD’s all by itself, but that would
have left too much excluded that I wanted you to have NOW.
So, I put together the core concepts of IDENTIFICATION and IDENTITY
and how YOU can utilize this cluster of information in influencing
One example would be something like,
“If you know someone is a Republican who voted for Bush in the last
election, how does that help me predict what they will think, buy,
and feel about it all today when I ask them to buy from me?”
Obviously we all identify with other people.
Around the house here and in the home office, you’ll hear people
refer to me as being just like HOUSE (House M.D./Hugh Laurie). I find
that hard to imagine as he is older than I am and uses a cane….
In public, people tell me that I remind them of Kelsey Grammer,
Robin Williams, Drew Carey and David Letterman all rolled into one.
Must be a very overweight guy….
So the point is that they identify me….with them.
That means they will SEE ME through those filters. Those filters
will completely change their perceptions of me, my work and whether
they will hire me or not. For years people have used the word filters….
How would you like to know what that REALLY MEANS?
How would you like to understand what you get from a filter?!
Identification and Identity are profound areas of influence research
that are now coming to the surface. It’s nothing short of fascinating
and of course no one knows about it yet.
I DID see a couple of Internet Marketers use material that they got
at Boot Camp where I touched on Identity. I think they did rather
well in their launch…..
Aside from that you will be the first to use this virgin research.
Because the concept of “persona” is so poorly understood and
underutilized outside of show business and branding, I do show you
how to develop your own persona. Little is more important in being
THE person want to do business with…I’ll come to that in a
I decided not to open with something so profound, however.
10 Simple Steps to Persuade Anyone
Mark Joyner, who is probably the all time #1 Internet
Marketer on the planet, asked me to write a small piece of his book,
Simpleology. (Very good book btw)
He wanted 10 steps I use when I persuade. Not when other people
persuade, but when I do, and he wanted me to make them simple and
easy to understand no matter how complex they are.
That was a challenge but in doing some self-modeling I was able to
develop quite a cool construct that I’ve never written about and now
for the first time you get it all.
This one long CD is of significant value to those who want to
influence, especially in business. I’d like to say it’s worth the
price of admission but would you think one CD could be worth $600?
Maybe not…it is…but maybe not. So I’ll just say it’s pretty
excellent and leave it at that….
Influencing the Long Tail
Finding the meeting point in the world between you and the universe
of people who would LOVE to do business with you, is the subject of
the next couple of CD’s.
KEYPOINT: YOU are THE answer for a group of people out there.
I show you how to project the image and persona you need to project to
draw that group to you.
This portion of Science of Influence 61-72 is just too cool. It was a
lot of fun to synthesize the work that’s been done in this area and
make it pretty simple to understand and just as easy to make real for
Persuasion’s Best Kept Secret
In Science of Influence Four, I briefly touched on MVD.
MVD is short for Most Valued Dimension.
No one (no one) had ever reported this phenomenon to the public
So for most people, it was so unusual that it went right over their
heads. But about 20 people wrote this year and asked a ton of
questions about how to calculate the MVD for themselves.
This is an incredibly potent persuasion tool that is waiting for
people to learn. This is NOT easy and it is NOT simple.
I have made it approachable.
If you really want to know WHY people pick YOU and YOUR PRODUCT,
this is the answer. Once you know WHY people pick YOU, it is a lot
easier to project those FEATURES (NOT BENEFITS) to the public.
Once again, if I could say that this CD was worth the price of
admission…..but I won’t. I’ll wait for YOU to tell ME.
How do Mind Readers Know What You’re Thinking?
The other thing people constantly ask is how I read their minds so
It’s in CD 66. (THE ENTIRE CD IS HOW MIND READERS DO IT!)
The Mind Reading CD is *definitely* worth the price of admission, no
maybe’s about it. It’s frigging excellent.
Yes. I show you what to do, what to say, and how.
Enough said….you’ll see. (And do listen to this CD numerous times.)
The Ultimate Power Factor in Persuasion
CD 67 discusses in detail the two most important factors in
persuasion, bar none.
In detail that I’ve never given this subject, you will gain an
awakening awareness to these two core concepts of behavior and the
keys to control of behavior.
Subliminal Persuasion & Perception
The 3rd most commonly requested information was “subliminal X.”
Man, do people want to know about subliminal stuff and you should,
too, because it is the future of marketing and influence.
Sooooo….you get it one crystal clear hour where I pound out recent
research and what it means to how you will persuade, or not.
Fewer people ask for “recent research” unless we count “what’s new
in persuasion,” and then that is what the next program is about.
Current Research Gives You a 3:1 Edge
Current research in persuasion is voluminous and over the next two
CD’s I cover a LOT of stuff quite quickly almost always with examples
and specifics for YOU.
New research is always intoxicating because it is stuff no one knows
about yet…because it is new.
And I love new stuff…
Eminently useful immediately.
You will like. You will put into use immediately. The final two CD’s are pretty cool.
A Complete Guide to Analyzing Your Customer
For the first time ever, I show you how to analyze your customer.
The questions you want to ask YOURSELF about YOUR CUSTOMER (or the
girl or whoever) and then I show you how to utilize that analysis to
cause people to “change their minds” (and yes, their behavior).
Once again, cutting-edge research merges with real world
applications and makes you the master. (Well, maybe not after
listening just once…but, drill this stuff into your brain a few
times, and you will do very well, indeed.)
Science of Influence Volumes 61-72 will take you through the next
It’s not only cool, it’s approachable, it’s exciting, it’s intense.
You will be the first to have almost all of this information. You
will be the first to use this information and I’m excited to be the
person who gives it to you.
12 hours on 12 Audio CD’s
150-Page Manual on CD