Mastering Self and Other Awareness
Shaping Your Ability to Influence
Ever see someone…well…you know…pinch her butt?
Then the guy looks as shocked as she does?
Get ready…because we are going there…
What would it mean if there were a number of “Sub-Selves” inside of you?
The best 2012 Neuroscience research bares out what John Watkins, Ph.D., the developer of hypnoanalysis, knew in 1945. There are a number of Sub-Selves inside of you.
We’ve known factually that there are at least two distinct “brains” above our neck. There is the nonconscious brain and the conscious brain and the two have measurably different personality traits and behavioral choices.
But it gets more interesting and has massive ramifications for Influence.
Here’s the thing: Multiple Personality Disorder…really isn’t a “Disorder.”
It’s just a fact of everyday life…for…well…everyone…
I’ll go deep into the most cutting-edge neuroscience in future articles and books, but in a nutshell, the fact is that you project several different selves “in the brain” that are activated in different situations and environments.
We all Have Sub-Selves?
Watkins called these permeable partial personalities: “Ego States.” Others who practice analytic hypnotherapy would call these fragments: “Parts.” Both terms are fine. So is the term “Selves.”
Today, there are different ways to consider and understand roughly the same notion.
You’re probably reading this on a computer.
In my computer I have around 80 programs. Each of these programs is a separate entity but all operate within the computer. Sometimes various programs work together to help me get stuff done.
Sometimes not. Microsoft Word and Windows Movie Maker both use different processes to accomplish different kinds of tasks. Not much sharing of resources between the two that I’m aware of.
These two programs are two of many programs my dandy little computer allows to operate independently of each other. There are plenty of breakdowns in the analogy between computer and brain but for this specific metaphor, it works well enough.
Computer is roughly analogous to Brain.
Programs are roughly analogous to Selves.
Multiple Selves are Hard to Accept
Why does it seem so freaky to think of more than one of Self shelled inside of the body?
Because at any single moment in time, when operating in nonconscious (stimulus/response) mode, you generally perceive your Self as A Self.
Of Two Minds
For some 15 years, I’ve written about there being two very separate minds. There is the rapid, fast action, decision lightning bolt of a nonconscious mind; and there is a methodical, ponderous, conscious mind thinker.
The two don’t do much talking to each other, though they do share expenses in some of the space they rent in your brain.
Which Self Pinched the Cute Girl’s Butt?
Now Let’s Get a Real World Check
I’m coming to the cute girl and her pinched backside in a sec.
You’ve asked people, “What were you thinking?!”
Typically – kind, intelligent people simply do some of the dumbest things.
In fact, everyone does.
Your nonconscious brain is about one half second ahead of your conscious brain in reaction and responses which is why people say things they absolutely should never say in “polite company.”
Nurture The Self Monitor
I’ve got a pretty decent Self Monitor. That’s one of the things we’re going to talk about today. The Self Monitor helps you keep from screwing up too badly in most contexts, most of the time. It’s very aware of how you smell, how you appear to others, how your nonverbal communication is being perceived, how your communication is being received and processed. I don’t do a lot of things well, but I do this pretty well.
You aren’t born with a good Self Monitor. You have to nurture it…
The Two Minds explain(s) why the guy randomly grabs the girl’s butt on the elevator and she looks at him like he’s lost his mind. And that’s kind of true. He lost HIS mind… He did what his brain moved him to do. Then he had to make up an excuse with his conscious, thinking mind almost immediately after grabbing that blue jean draped piece of flesh.
He very well might have thought and typically does think, “Nice” and done absolutely nothing, but in this particular moment the impulse was instant. His nonconscious brain received a different perception with an action attached to it. “Nice and Grab.”
The guy gets slapped if he’s goofy looking. If he’s good looking and her boyfriend isn’t nearby, she waves her finger in front of him and says, “Watch it, Buddy.”
I’m not going to go into all the evidence for multiple “selves” at the nonconscious level today. Instead I’ll give you a task.
The Non Stop Soundtrack in Your Head
Become aware of having a song stuck in your head that you have a hard time getting rid of. Write down why you think you might not have control of that song. How is it turned on when none of the others are on? Why is it you don’t hear two songs at the same time? Why can’t YOU shut it off? Why can’t YOU change the song even when YOU start singing a different song to drive that song out of your mind?
This happened yesterday with me.
My brain was singing Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf for around two hours (click the link if you just HAVE to listen as it’s now in Your Head). I was working on Coffee and really was tired of thinking about being barely 17 and barely dressed…or maybe I wasn’t tired of it, but I was ready for turning 18 and playing some guitar or something different.
I decided to take control of my own brain and I went upstairs and popped in an Elvis DVD. Meatloaf yielded to Elvis and my brain was fully engaged into Just Pretend, I Just Can’t Help Believing, and Something. Relieved, I returned to my couch and Coffee Table, laid down, got ready to work on Coffee again and “Ain’t no doubt about it…we were barely 17 and we were barely dressed.” And then the brain kicked into the “Baseball Radio Broadcast” part of the song. I gave in. My Nonconscious Mind really wants to be 17 and barely dressed, so let it be 17 and barely dressed.
Fortunately, all of that happens inside of the brain and, because I’m not in the environment where those lyrics and feelings could get me into trouble, it’s all good.
But what happens when you aren’t in a Church when your nonconscious is driving the bus?
The Self in Dangerous Situations …
The Self in Dangerous Situations
But put that brain into a bar and The Self Monitor had better be at work. Put that brain into a bar and drink a few drinks and The Self Monitor takes a snooze, leaving the nonconscious brain to pursue what it was hardwired by nature to pursue.
A lot of people think that when you drink alcohol, your “Real Self” shows through.
One of your real selves shows through. And it’s going to be a different “Self” depending on the context and who you are with.
My brain can be singing all the Paradise by the Dashboard it wants for as long as it wants, but three glasses of wine with Devin, Scott, Rob, Steve, Christian, Larry and Dale just isn’t going to strangely want to grab Scott’s butt…at least not to date…
Be Aware of What You Verbalize
Self Discipline, in part, is a verbal function.
Become aware of Real Time Self Disciplining.
I say out loud or think this often enough. “Moron, what the hell were you thinking? That’s not what you should be doing.”
“Good job, Kev, real genius action there.”
All speaking directly to and only myself.
Every now and then, I find myself saying self directed comments when others are around, but not often enough to do any damage. The Self Monitor generally has the verbalizations under control…generally.
Become aware of Real Time Self Stroking when you say aloud or think to yourself, “I’m so great.”
And your Self…some other Self… agrees… That’s Narcissism and it generally doesn’t have a great endgame in life.
One Self Can Do a Task, While the Other Self Drives
Become aware of how you have an in-depth conversation with someone else while you drive a car. Literally think HOW is this happening? Driving a car is something that, when you learned how to do it, required 110% of your attention. “Habit” allows you to drive safely while fully engaged with another human in full conscious brain activity?!
🙂 I don’t think so…
Think about the fact that the baseball player often has to swing just as the ball is released from the pitcher’s hand or he won’t hit the ball. The conscious mind can’t catch up to a baseball.
It also can’t run in a straight line to get the ball in the outfield. Watch yourself on video. You run in an arc…and actually you are focused on the ball while another subroutine arcs toward the ball…and almost always puts you in a position to make the catch.
Think about the Hockey Dad who kills the guy standing next to him at the kid’s hockey game. The guy was a good Dad. He just got upset, “lost his mind for a second” and killed the other guy with a too well-timed punch. I promise you the church going guy who really was a good egg with a testosterone level of 800 (think credit scores which are similar to testosterone numbers). HE never would have hurt a flea, but put him in a competitive environment watching his son…fully associated to the point of shutting out The Self Monitor and BAM the guy next to him doesn’t ever breathe another breath. It’s tragic. And the guy goes to jail.
Was he guilty?
Not really, but you can’t let him be on the street because his Self Monitor gave out at a really important moment in time.
The Awakening…Becoming Aware of Your Selves…
Become Aware of Your Selves
Every day, you experience different Selves or Subroutines and when you become aware of them you will begin to surprise your…Self.
People write all the time and say “You spell ‘Your Self’ incorrectly.” I’d write them back and explain their English degree doesn’t have a clue what’s going on amongst their Selves….
Understanding this helps you in more ways than you can imagine. Mostly this allows you to be more influential and desirable to others. The person who understands Their Selves has a much easier time controlling their behavior, their words, not grabbing the cute girls butt… at least not on the elevator.
This knowledge is the Genesis of Emotional Intelligence.
There is no way to manage Your Self and influence others more effectively than you currently do unless you understand what makes you tick. Your mental and emotional health depend entirely on your ability to understand why you behave the way you do, and your power to effect the changes necessary when your behavior leaves something to be desired.
Achieving self-awareness involves exploring our individual personalities, values, beliefs, natural inclinations, and tendencies. When we have a better understanding of ourselves, we have the power to make changes and to build on our strengths.
You don’t need to go talking to the guys at the office about Selves and grabbing the cute girl’s butt on the elevator. Just keep all of that information “in mind” and utilize that data throughout the day.
Cute Girl Alert? What do you do?
Keep your hands behind your back, fingers interlocking…
Self-awareness is more than a Stay out of Jail Card. It is also a Keep You Alive Card.
When Our Selves Become Deadly
Amy Winehouse died yesterday.
The chances are her Self Monitor was squelched. Tragic. It happens to a lot of people who end up in places they aren’t prepared to be “at.”
Self-awareness is the first step to goal-setting, because how can you set goals for yourself if you don’t know who you are?
Knowing what you want is impossible without knowing who you are.
Craving fame and fortune without assessing if you truly have the personality to cope with all its pressures is a thoroughly rocky road, and evidence would suggest it is a road much-traveled.
Areas of Self Awareness
Self awareness can cover a lot of ground, but here are a few areas to consider:
Aptitude for specific fields – This includes your natural academic or sporting prowess, so you can play to your strengths and improve in weaker areas. All things being equal, you should stick with and develop strengths.
Personality traits – You need to know, for example, whether you typically exhibit more natural introverted or extraverted behaviors, and whether are you prone to being sensitive or judgmental. Introverts who fail to address their feelings can find they are emotionally hijacked whenever they feel socially exposed.
Religious & political beliefs – You may or may not take interest in these areas, but you should know exactly where you stand if you do, so you can rationalize your viewpoints if challenged, or keep quiet when discretion seems the better part of valor. Emotions can run very deep with both of these subjects, and it may be that managing yourself better means keeping quiet, lest you run the risk of being emotionally hijacked by the ferocity of your views, and alienating all around you.
Values – This would include your conscious vs. nonconscious ethics, morals, integrity and decision making. These will underpin your character, and you must be aware if any views you hold are perceived as contentious if you are to avoid conflict. You should also accept that others will not always see your point of view, however “correct” it is, and therefore you should again be prepared to fight your corner with rationale rather than pure emotion, or keep quiet.
The Areas of Emotional Intelligence YOU Can Control…to a Degree…
Areas of Emotional Intelligence
However, managing yourself better is a more fundamental skill than simply listing your likes and dislikes. As our emotions are subject to fluctuations, even on a daily basis, we need to develop strategies that allow us to always stay in charge of them as best we can. The main areas to focus on with our emotional intelligence are:
- Emotional awareness – This is our ability to correctly identify core emotions when they appear, including anger, sadness, fear and joy. It is also useful to spot these in other people, especially as there may be attempts to disguise them.
- Emotional self-management – This is our ability to control our emotions and express them in an appropriate manner.
- Emotional flexibility – This is the ability to recover from stress, loss, and shocking events that have damaged your emotional equilibrium.
- Decision Making – You should also develop the ability to use your emotions in decision-making, balancing thoughts and feelings.
Becoming Socially Aware
Being socially aware is about knowing how you react to social situations, and modifying your interactions with other people to achieve the best results. The net result of social awareness is the development of social skills.
Here are a few things you can easily do today to become aware of your Social Self and how you are being perceived by others.
- Learn to identify which types of situations make you uncomfortable, and then alter your behavior to make the best of your circumstances.
- Learn to become aware of behaviors in other people that may cause you to respond negatively. As you are unlikely to be able to change the other person, you must be able to modify your own behavior to turn the situation into a positive experience.
- Take responsibility for your own behavior and be willing to apologize for errors in judgment or insensitive actions. Just say, “I was wrong.” It’s free…
- Ask others for honest feedback about the way you interact with them. Accept the negative feedback along with the positive and make changes accordingly.
- Be aware of your body language. Non-verbal communication is as important as the things you say. Positive body language is a boon in your interactions with other people.
- Learn to listen with genuine interest. Fight the urge to respond immediately and really listen to what the other person is trying to say.
- Accept that improving your social skills is not an overnight process. Trying to improve or change too many things at once will be counter-productive as you will feel so uncomfortable that you may suffer an emotional hijacking.
- Maximize your positive personality traits and use them to your advantage when interacting with others.
Help with Managing Relationships…
Managing Your Relationships
Managing your relationships must start with managing yourself.
You cannot manage the bad traits out of other people very easily, so you must present your Self as positively as you can. In this way, you may find that your good example is reflected by the other person.
Whether in the home or the workplace, relationships have to be managed. This is because relationships cannot be allowed to become stagnant. To work well, they must continually develop and grow. A good working relationship is a dynamic one. This keeps everyone on their toes and performing at their best. This means being proactive, tackling issues head-on, seeking resolutions, and searching for areas in which improvements can be made.
When people are in well-managed relationships, they feel aligned, committed, on board and motivated. They know their needs are being considered, their individual ways are being accommodated, and their contributions are acknowledged.
People want to know that they are important to an organization, and that their work is important to the goals of the organization.
Communication is key to building successful relationships, because where there is no discourse, no party can know how anyone else truly feels – not until resentments begin to bubble over and cause problems. Effective communication involves asking questions and listening to the answers.
Humor is a great boost to any relationship and this does not have to create a flippant attitude. In fact, flippancy is more likely to develop in the absence of healthy humor. You should also make sure you do not ask for too much from people. You must be reasonable. Making unrealistic demands is only going to breed resentment.
Other people like to feel they are being treated fairly; that means fairly according to their behavior, and in relation to how you treat others. Consistency is important in creating expectations of fairness that take the kick out of any unpleasant situations you have to manage. If everyone knows they are being treated according to a set of guidelines that apply to everyone, they will be less likely to react emotionally.
Remember to say “please” and “thank you”. It takes no time or effort, but has a significant effect on the quality of a relationship, especially if the person saying these things does not, strictly speaking, need to because they are in a position of power.
Decision Point–Discover a System of Decision Making That Will Clear the Way to Success
See Registration Form for Course Start Date
If you’ve ever taken one of my e-courses, yes, it’s like them! This E-course lasts 7 weeks and has more than 20 modules. You set your own schedule – you don’t have to be “in class” at any particular time each day. You get VIP access to a secret portion of the web site, and can log in at any time.
Maybe you have been experiencing one or more of the following:
You’ve been thinking of getting a divorce but your husband does bring in a decent income. There are other fish in the sea but you wonder if you can still compete. Can you do better? What about the kids? What do you DECIDE? How do you decide?
Moving is always tough but when there are more than one person’s job or one person going to a school that they love and the possibility of leaving friends behind makes for what many consider an impossible decision. What do YOU decide? How do you decide?
Your investments have done OK but your total income saved for your future is terrible. There are a lot of options you’ve been told about but you really don’t know what to do. What will you decide? How will you decide?
A relative lives with you. They take advantage of you but you can’t let them go because you don’t know what will happen to them. What is the right thing to do and will that thing be what you decide? How will you decide?
An elderly relative lives with you. They can’t take care of themselves any more. You hate the idea of a nursing home or “worse.” You also want “a life.” What will you decide to do?
You are a manager at your company and only have enough budget to pursue one product line. You can choose between an almost sure thing with a very modest return or a riskier proposal that could make you a superstar. What do you decide? How do you make the decision?
You’re on your way home for the holidays. You get stuck in bad weather and are put up at a local hotel. In the bar that night a beautiful woman strikes up a conversation with you and she has offered you the key to her room. What will you decide?
Your wife is two months pregnant. A test reveals the baby is going to be born with a disease that will require your 24/7 care for the rest of your life. She decides she wants to keep the baby. But you haven’t made your decision. What will you decide to do? How will you make the decision?
Your home has a horrible defect that you can cover easily in the selling process and the defect almost certainly won’t be discovered for years. Revealing it will reduce the price of your home $100,000. What will you decide to do? How will you decide?
You can stay at your present job which you really don’t like that much and live on a predictable but very modest income or you can pursue a venture that has about a 70% chance of success and if it succeeds, you would double your income. What do you decide to do? How do you decide?
“Just wanted to thank you. I took your Decision Point E-Course earlier this year, and have put the ideas into practice. I knew I wanted to leave my job, but didn’t seem able to decide when, how, etc. Well, using what I learned from you, I was able to make a very definitive decision about NOW being the time. I feel great about the timing in my life now and at peace with the decisions I made. This means so much to me! Mahalo nui loa (thank you so very much).”
Stephanie Smedes, Seattle, WA
You are involved in a custody battle for your children. One of the kids is misbehaving terribly and you don’t know whether you should spank them or discipline them firmly. The result could easily effect the results of the custody hearing. What do you do? How do you decide?
Two women have taken a liking to you. You date them both for some time. They both begin to talk about moving in and a permanent relationship. One is the kind of person you feel comfortable with and would be easy to love. The other is 10 years younger and is celebrity beautiful. Unfortunately she knows it and enjoys being the center of attention. What do you decide? How do you decide?
And those are just a few of the decisions that face real people every day. Decisions that people are forced into and have no idea what to do or how to do it.
THIS COURSE shows you how to make ALL of the decisions above.
And it’s important to note, that the right decision easily can be different from person to person. Knowing how to evaluate THAT is crucial to everything you will do…but no one ever does it….
“As a psychotherapist, I work in the minefield of decision-making and I can tell you that making good decisions is critical to happiness, success and relationships. Kevin Hogan’s course covers the terrain of decision-making with his usual thoroughness, candor and relevance. Kevin is always ahead of the game because of his extensive research, vast and varied connections and sharp mind. His thinking about ‘high noon’ and light a fuse, if applied, would save many relationships and learning the concept alone is more than worth the price of admission.”
Bob Beverley, psychotherapist, www.findwisdomnow.com
If you haven’t taken an e-course with me: an E-course with me is not like an E-course as thought of by the rest of the world. With me an E-course means you will have instruction in several media forms. Video, audio and text. There is NO specific time you must meet with me every day.
About 50% of the people who take my courses collect all the materials and work at their own pace later. The other half work with me and sometimes with other participants when necessary, on projects that are necessary to learning how to make RIGHT DECISIONS.
My courses are universally known to be challenging, results-oriented, pragmatic and show you EXACTLY how to get where you want to go.
Decision making is a function of thinking that almost 90% of people do very poorly. Most people think that if something turns out well, they made a good decision. If something turns out poorly they made a bad decision.
And that conditioning is one of the biggest reasons why people are poor decision makers.
Decision making is first and foremost about MAKING DECISIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Every day, people vacillate on making changes in their lives that they KNOW are absolutely necessary, but they decide to do nothing and hope for the best, only to live a life where nothing ever changes.
This is where we begin.
Elimination of PROCRASTINATION and VACILLATION.
You will learn how to recognize situations where you are about to commit acts of self-sabotage. I’ll show you how to identify it long before it becomes an issue. I’ll show you how to crush self-sabotage so you can make a CHOICE instead of only having the ability to stay with the Status Quo.
This first week’s module alone will be worth the investment in the course.
How would you like to NEVER procrastinate again?
What would happen if you could actually MOVE in the DIRECTION that you want to, even if it is ONLY AWAY FROM WHERE YOU ARE TODAY?!
By the end of week one, you will have daily projects to do for several weeks that will almost literally beat the habits of self-sabotage and procrastination from your life.
Most people don’t know that procrastination is a habit you picked up, but it is NOT your fault.
The same is true of self-sabotage.
I will explain why, where it all started, why it happens to everyone and why it must be eradicated intentionally and with no little effort. By the END of the course, IF YOU FOLLOW the Decision Point Plan, you will have eliminated procrastination and almost all forms of self-sabotage.
I’ll explain in detail why self-sabotage is a little trickier and lurks in EVERYONE’S back yard waiting to strike. I’ll show you how to get rid of it and then prevent it so you never have to deal with it in the future.
And that is only week one!
How we doin’ so far?!
Decision IS Destiny
If you could point to one word, to one factor, to one element or cause of what happens to you in your life, it is decision.
You make decisions all the time. Generally speaking, the more decisions a person makes, the more successful they are.
The better a person is at making decisions, the more successful they are.
When you move from your old home to the home you are in now; maybe you moved because you wanted a bigger house, or to put the kids in a better school district. Maybe it was just closer to where your job is…more convenient.
And of course in the case of uprooting and moving your family, you’re talking about a lot of variables, a lot of things to consider. You’re going to find out how to make the right decision in which house to buy and where to move.
What about leaving your job for some other opportunity?
FEAR enters the picture quite clearly and because the future is seemingly unpredictable, you feel frozen or stuck as to what to do, so you immediately default to stay in your same job. But there is a way to make this decision much easier. And you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you do….
But there are also the smaller decisions of life.
- Which movie to go see…
- Which show to watch on TV….
- What to make for dinner…
- Whether to go to the game or stay home….
- Whether to take a vacation with or without the kids…
- Whether to wear blue or black…
There is a simple method that takes little thinking at all to make these day to day decisions.
And then there are decisions that you make that influence other people’s lives like taking a new job, going into business for yourself, moving to a new area, having a surgery that has risks involved….
How do you know what to do? Don’t worry, most people haven’t got a clue as to how to make the right decision every time, and there is a right decision to make.
Then there are Destiny Decisions…those decisions that you make that will literally determine where you are going to be in three years or five years.
These are REALLY IMPORTANT decisions. Every day I see people screwing them up as if they are no big deal.
You’ll find out a methodical system that might take a very short amount of time or significantly longer depending on circumstances. Nevertheless, you will find out exactly what to do every time.
Obviously there are plenty of Black Swan’s (unexpected random events like hurricanes and terrorism) out there to get in the way of what you want in life, but nothing you can control impacts your life more than decision.
Write that down.
Put it on the refrigerator.
That alone is worth $10,000, yes?
Nothing you can control impacts your life more than decision.
How would life be different if you knew you were going to make the right decision, every time?
Did you know that in life, there is almost always a best decision?
What would happen if you had the method for decision?
What would it be worth to have a simple systematic approach to decision making where the guidelines are from your head and heart?
Most people are paralyzed with uncertainty about whether they should:
- Ask the girl to marry them.
- Make a purchase.
- Move from one place to another…
- Quit their job…
- Decide between committing one person or another.
- Start a business…
- Ask the girl to go out with them…
- Send the letter or not…
- Decide between hiring one person or another.
- Get a divorce….
- Send your kids to public or private school….
- Choose between a new car, a used car or no car….
- Go back to school to get more education….
- Fire the person or not.
- Invest in stocks, bonds, real estate and not screw up.
- Accurately plan for their future in all areas.
Why Do People Make Bad Decisions?
And…they make bad decisions because…we all have about 8-10 areas of failure in our brain….similar experiences where you make the wrong decisions over and over again.
(Like marrying the same guy five times, dating jerks, working for idiots, saying the wrong thing at the worst time, etc. Sound familiar?)
We’ll repair all of that. (If we don’t, life will be the same tomorrow as it has been in the past….)
Did you know there is a proven way to make the right decision in each of the above choices?
For the sake of discussion, let’s assume that is correct. There IS a method you can use to make the RIGHT decision just about every time.
It doesn’t take a genius to think, “I decide to make more money,” “lose weight,” “get a better job,” “get married to perfect person x”.
KEY: Learning the process of making the right decision involves making that decision STICK, be UNYIELDING and barring a Black Swan, guaranteeing you will follow through.
Over the last 15 years we’ve been fortunate to have studied the raw information about how to make laser beam accurate decisions. Complex software programs have shown scientists how to simplify the decision making process using some mostly simple (sorry, it’s not ALL instantly easy!) rules.
And now, you don’t need the software or the computer any more…
And, by the way, in the last 15 years there has been an incredible amount of research done about decision making that teach and use VERY FAULTY processes, that can’t and don’t work.
KEY: You’ll experience FIRST HAND, how what seems to be an obvious decision, is almost always the wrong one….the costly one…(often the disaster one….)
If you follow that teacher’s advice, you’ll flat out screw up.
You’ll end up with next to nothing and headaches and heartaches to boot.
People, including a lot of authors, are lazy.
They don’t do the research.
They don’t test.
Why should they?
They get paid the same no matter what and when YOU screw up, they just say, “you did it wrong.”
Play along for just a moment.
Can I ask you a question?
Have you ever read that it’s been proven that 93% of all communication is body language?
Of course, lots of times. Everyone has read that.
And of course, it’s not true.
(It’s not even close to accurate.)
How could that be, it’s common knowledge…isn’t it?
There was one study done by a brilliant communication researcher 35 years ago that evaluated people saying one word to another, with the other person only being able to see the person from the neck UP. (that leaves about 90% of the body out of the study.) In this one specific instance, Dr. Mehrabian found that about 93% of the communication sent was at a nonverbal level. Obviously when people communicate with more than one word and people can see below the neck, all kinds of factors change the percentages.
Problem is people read something in a book written by Goofball X and they believe what she writes because she says it’s “scientific.”
People look at their lives and think, “I did everything I was told…”
Yep and look at that life. It didn’t work.
The guru didn’t do the research. They went with the party line and taught that.
I don’t care about the party line because I don’t like the people at the party.
Remember when Benjamin Franklin did his famous experiment about testing each of the virtues (temperance and so forth) for a month so he could eventually become adept at all of them? I’ve heard most motivational speakers talk or write about this. I’d name them, but it would take an entire page…
Anyway…You remember… but he gave up the idea after the first week …he never did the experiment. He wrote early in his biography that he was going to do the project and then soon after decided not to. Basically he said it was impossible to do such a thing.
I’ve never heard ANYONE get that right, either.
But THEY TEACH YOU TO DO IT…
And because you trust them YOU TRY IT and FAIL.
Franklin’s personal challenge didn’t work for all kinds of reasons I’ll show you later.
Question: Why did you believe he actually did the project?
Only one reason: …because someone you trusted or believed, an author, a teacher….told you that it was true.
Want a quick way to filter a crummy guru out?
If they tell you that story, they didn’t get very far in Franklin’s biography. If they tell you that, they’d tell you anything.
By the way…what did Franklin do instead?!
I’ll show you that at Decision Point, too.
The point is that MOST of the stuff people tell you to do…. that is “scientific,” that is based on laws of the universe or proven techniques is nothing more than their imagination having run wild.
…and following their advice will get you the same ultimate destination, every time…
Back to Start. (If you don’t go into foreclosure first.)
So why don’t the vast majority of people make good decisions?
Why are people AFRAID to make decisions at all?
They’ve been given crummy information and worse methods for how to choose and what to do.
It’s that simple.
(OK, there are eight other core reasons people make crummy decisions every day, but to pick on your neighbor here is so not cool…)
And what does the Power of Decision Point give you in life?
- Personal freedom
- No limits
- The Ability to Succeed When Most Others Fail
- The Ability to Make Big Changes in Life with Easeand…
- Wealth if You Want It
- A LOT Better Life If You USE The Power of Decision
- Success when you use The Power of Decision.
You’re going to learn it ALL in this 7 Week E-Course.
If you’ve been in an E-Course with me, you know that although they are always convenient, they are also densely packed with practical, real life application as the end result. That is the same here. Everything you learn will be immediately applied to a crucial part of your life because there is a LOT going on in your life right now and a LOT of it has to change but you don’t know WHAT.
Each week you’ll receive a number of emails or documents from me. You’ll have homework assignments that are all real-life based…your life. You’ll be given audio’s to listen to or video to watch. You will once again, find out what “over delivery” means!
You’re going to discover:
- How People Decide
- Why Most People Make Almost All Bad Decisions
- How to KNOW What to do…
- The Four Factors of Luck and How to Tilt the “Luck Factor” in YOUR Favor.
- How to Beat the Black Swan when Bad Luck Strikes….
- All of the Successful Strategies for Decision Including Decision Point: MY PERSONAL SYSTEM
“You’ll never see a sunset if you keep going east! And you’ll never live the changes you want in life if you exercise your decisions in the wrong way. No matter how positive or determined you are. So, if you want to begin making decisions that will help you take control of your life at a whole new level, then you need to enroll and immerse yourself in Kevin’s new e-decision-making course. It’s packed with fresh, new, exciting information that will help you train your brain, period. Since I completed the course, I have learned to think better and smarter about challenges, enjoy being able to make powerful, timely and well-considered decisions with new secret technology that until recently, only the elite had access to. In the course, besides being presented in a convenient format, you will be able to start and work on your learning curve at your own pace. And, personalized learning means you can contact Kevin at any stage of the course. I strongly recommend this course, it has solutions that really work!”
David Power, London, England
Do you sell something for a living?
[Pay attention- I’m going to show you how to analyze how your client WILL DECIDE on buying your product or service…and I’ll show you WHAT is going to happen next…think that might be worth $10,000?!]
I’ve never given the system for DECISION POINT to anyone.
I’m not going to write about it in Coffee….ever.
But the time is now to experience a truly transformational experience in an exciting and unique E-course.
I PROMISE YOU:
No one else is going to ever show you this information. You’ll never experience these experiences with anyone else. You can’t find anything remotely similar “out there.”
So essentially, you’re stuck spending seven weeks with me. As with all of my E-Courses, I am your PERSONAL COACH and you don’t have to be at any specific place at any specific time. The program is delivered via audio, video, and text.
So what’s going to happen in these seven fascinating weeks?
I’ll personally show you the problems you face when you make decisions.
You’ll find out the impact of other people on your decision.
I’ll show you how to minimize the NEGATIVE impact of other people on your decisions, including the people you might love or work with every day.
You won’t regret your decisions anymore.
You’ll understand how to MINIMIZE RISK and MAXIMIZE RETURN on both business and personal decisions.
I’ll show you EXACTLY what to do when the RIGHT decision you determine, FEELS completely wrong.
Finding out how your beliefs, faith, values and lifestyle factor into your decisions matters a lot to you. No one else shows you how to be true to yourself and others around you while you decide for your Self or for many.
At the end of the course, you will have one cool, big Coffee Table-Sized Manual that you will be able to refer to forever.
Your tuition: See Registration Form for Current Discounted Tuition
A couple things before you apply!
- I reserve the right to reject any application for any reason.
- There may be a few group projects that are necessary for making decisions where two people are involved, instead of just you (as in a marriage, with kids, or at work). If you are unwilling to e-mail one of your fellow participants during these two projects do not apply.
- Everything is yours to keep, but you may not share or give away any of this information to anyone.
- If you’re still here with me, then I look forward to seeing your application!