Dealing with Argumentative People

What can you do if you are dealing with an argumentative communicator?

• Tell the person you don’t enjoy arguing, but that you will discuss options and ideas.
• Tell the person you respect their point of view, but disagree.
• If necessary, tell the person that this subject is something you don’t wish to continue discussing because it is personal or volatile. (This is OK for business, of course, but not going to do the trick in long-term relationships.)
• Speak your point of view clearly and discuss what it would take for you to re-evaluate your point of view.
• Ask the person, “Is being right more important than my feelings?” (In other words, what is at stake? Safety? Life/Death? Some long-term issue? or Is it about whether you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or end….)
• Suggest the person frame their comments in a more gentle fashion. “I know you aren’t saying that to attack me, it just hurts when you say it that way.”
• “Instead of yelling, allow yourself to speak calmly and then I’ll be able to listen to you better.”
• “If you stop calling me names when we talk, I’d be a lot less defensive. Deal?”

What can you do if you are an argumentative communicator?

About Kevin Hogan

Author of The Psychology of Persuasion, Irresistible Attraction, and The Science of Influence, Dr. Kevin Hogan is trusted by organizations both large and small to help them understand human dynamics, body language, persuasion, and how to influence. Kevin is an internationally known keynote speaker and corporate educator based in Minneapolis Minnesota. Have Kevin speak at your next event.