Foundation for this article: Developing the Success Mindset
“I believe in myself.” (Don’t believe it, unless they also say, “I believe the grass is green,” “I believe the sky is blue,” “I believe it’s cold outside, (the temperature is 30 below zero)” In other words, if you believe something, you will typically skip the word “believe” and easily show what you say to be true. “The grass IS green, the sky IS blue and it IS cold outside.” Those are beliefs.
When someone tells me that they believe in themselves, I have them change how they communicate that information. I don’t mind hearing, “When I say I’m cooking dinner tonight, it happens. When I say I’ll have it on your desk in the morning, you can know it’s there when you unlock the door to your office. When I say I’ll be back in an hour, you can count on it. When I say I’m going to have the project done on time, it happens.” If they don’t feel it is real, then it’s time for changing beliefs. (We’ll talk about this further down the page.)
And now we all know, this person can be trusted until proven otherwise.
This person’s belief is certainty in themselves. They say it about something in their control and what they say happens. Belief.
Most people use the word “belief” like this: “I believe everyone should have a free education, free medical care, at least $15 per hour for their job. Those aren’t beliefs, they are wishes. Today we fix this problem as well.
The Incredible Power of Beliefs
You change your beliefs by DECISION. Beginning today, you intentionally create beliefs that will match reality.
Beliefs shape how accomplishment will happen, or whether a specific result can happen at all.
People really think if they spend the day looking at You Tube and Instagram of people they believe are successful in their niche. The idea is that they will discover secrets of what they should do. They wish they too could be successful. But you won’t see the secret sauce in what people post on Instagram. (I’ll do an article next month on Instagram) You currently can NOT replicate the profitable posts on Instagram. It will require a very specific strategy to get to the point where you are able to do so.
As you change your beliefs about what matters to you in life and business you change your approach to life and business and as you begin to see different results.
These changes are all choices, decisions you make as you find out what is working and what is not.
The Impact of Beliefs
Your beliefs impact everything you do (and more importantly what you don’t do).
You may wonder what beliefs have to do with anything. They’re just thoughts after all, right?
Yes, beliefs are indeed thought collections. They often determine your actions and reactions – and they have the power to hold you back from doing what will make you happy.
Beliefs that you haven’t developed intentionally, are typically imbued with emotion, usually raw emotion of which you cannot easily control.
Beliefs are often created and semi-permanently cemented by answering a question another poses!
- Actions create beliefs.
- Beliefs trigger and loop with emotions.
- Emotions direct the body which our brain/mind reside.
- Thought sometimes comes into play to save us from the above.
Imagine that you have a belief that you don’t deserve to be happy and successful. Such a belief would cause you to unconsciously sabotage any plans you make. Or more likely could cause you to not try at all because you believe it would be a waste of your time and energy.
…or worse, “try” once and fail so you know “it” doesn’t work.
How do you know if you have unconscious beliefs that might be holding you back?
Here’s some help.
True or False
- When I don’t get paid what I’m worth, I ask for and typically get more.
- I find it easy to make substantial amounts of money.
- I encounter opportunities wherever I go. It’s hard to keep up w/ them all.
- I am completely in tune with my passions. I know exactly what I want.
- I am currently doing what I love and could happily do it forever.
- I am ready to tackle any challenges that I may face. Always do, always will.
- I feel fear and I control it by acting until I succeed and have for a long time.
It’s simple. Your beliefs and emotions are either driving you or YOU are choosing what you want with your prefrontal cortex. The two don’t go hand in hand very often. The latter actions will help you change and make potent new beliefs.
This is where almost everyone quits. Are you going to be that everyone??
As soon as people feel that their mind needs to be running the show, that they are responsible for what is going to happen in their lives, they close the book, shut the door and go to bed.
Guilt is the appropriate feeling when someone does that.
Pride is the appropriate feeling when they keep reading.
Changing Existing Beliefs
OK, How do you change existing beliefs?
Acting in spite of your feelings and beliefs is the single most powerful tool you have.
Another potent change experience happens in your mind.
You replace old beliefs and with more empowering beliefs.
Let’s use this statement as an example:
“I am ready to tackle any challenges that I may face.”
If, when you read that statement to yourself you feel uneasiness or dread, then you know you have a doubt about your ability to handle challenges. Your job is now to persuade, even coerce yourself that you DO have the ability to handle challenges.
Once you can say it and know it is correct and now a “wish” you can then describe HOW you will do that context by context.
Never lie to yourself and say something like, “I tackle all challenges I face.” Your unconscious mind will sabotage your results and your unconscious mind will win.
Think back to any challenges you have faced in your lifetime. How did you handle them? Did you buckle down and do what needed to be done, or did you cave under the pressure?
If you can recall even one challenge that you were able to handle and overcome, you have solid footing and a resource to change your belief!
It’s OK to keep remind yourself (sometimes hour by hour) that if you handled one similar challenge successfully, you can handle others.
And indeed that is a fact.
The more frequently and passionately you can reinforce this concept in your mind, the more quickly your underlying belief will change.
The more often you can ACT on the concept, the faster and deeper the emotions imbuing the new belief will be.
But what if you can’t recall any challenges you’ve overcome successfully in the past? Is it time to give up?
Now your mentor can help you. Ask them to design a plan for you to accomplish the desired change.
Your mentor will show you how to think about opportunities to tackle a challenge now.
That may sound intimidating, but you will surprise yourself as long as you don’t let yourself go to bed until it is DONE.
Most often, you are capable of MUCH MORE than you give yourself credit for. You won’t know until you actually experience it.
After you handle even one real challenge, you will feel your confidence growing and you’ll be eager to take on more..
In the Inner Circle this is one of the key strategies I use to cause people to move in the direction they need to move. Sometimes it’s subtle…sometimes not…it’s always effective.
Remember that changing your beliefs is a process but if you keep at it, it won’t be long before you start to notice a big change in how you view and experience life.
And like so many other things in life, the more you practice the strategy, the better you’ll get at it.
Stopping Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
I’ve produced a lot for you about stopping self sabotage. Without question the best two programs to deal with this are Lifestorms and The Millionaire Mind.
It’s NOT easy to stop self-sabotage because it can be elusive.
Hopefully by now you are feeling much clearer about what you really want, you’ve come up with a solid plan to achieve it, and you have been evaluating your beliefs in an effort to build your confidence.
Let’s look at some common problems that could derail your plans if you’re not mindful of them: self-sabotaging behaviors.
Have you ever done something that caused big problems for you and seemed to be in direct opposition to what you thought you wanted? Like consistently shown up late for work even though your boss warned that you were treading on thin ice? Or perhaps you kept feeling compelled to eat junk food even though you were trying to lose weight and get in shape?
Why do you do these things? You would think that setting a goal and creating a plan would be enough to get us where we want to go, right?
No, that’s ‘The Secret’. Works only in some kid’s stories.
The author of ‘The Secret’ tells us to avoid looking at fat people so we don’t get fat.
Oh….if it were that easy…even with the arrogance.
Fact: The nonconscious mind is on autopilot.
Fact: The nonconscious mind acts first and you figure out what it has done shortly thereafter, leaving your conscious mind to make up excuses for what “you” have done.
The nonconscious mind can and does work against both you and me except in fields and areas of expertise. Then the opposite is true.
Even if you consciously believe you want something, it doesn’t mean that you will pursue “it.”
The answer usually comes down to a feeling or emotion.
Fear….or guilt…or shame….or something close.
Take a look at these behaviors and ask yourself whether they have ever derailed your plans:
The programs mentioned above (Lifestorms and The Millionaire Mind) show you in great detail how self-sabotage happens, why and how specifically to unplug it.
Here’s the remedial version.
- You are on a diet to lose 50 pounds.
- You wake up in the morning ready for the day and your diet.
- You handle things brilliantly all day long!
- You even have a modest dinner.
- About two hours before bedtime you wear down and break down and begin to eat…eat…and eat…
- When you walk in the bedroom, you think, TOMORROW, I’m REALLY going to do this.
The remedial version?
Your mind ran out of gas and your feelings and emotions took over. Your “need”, the hunger in this case, eventually overtook conscious thought and shoved it aside.
And so it is with pretty much everything.
Want to sign a contract that will promise that you will do something that is good for yourself? First thing in the morning or last thing at night.
That’s when people want to change the most.
But our conscious mind is only so strong in contrast to the nonconscious mind.
If you’ve ever found yourself holding back on doing something even though you kept telling yourself you really wanted to do it, you were procrastinating. You may have felt drawn to watch endless hours of television, or felt compelled to suddenly clean out your basement, or caused dramatic episodes with friends and family members for no apparent reason – all so you wouldn’t have to do something that would truly matter in life.
You were trying to distract yourself. Why? Believe it or not, procrastination usually is found somewhere between laziness and avoidance. Most often, you are trying to avoid an underlying fear or resistance that you don’t feel ready to handle.
Why? And is it easy to change if you want?….
No matter how fired up you are about your goals, your old, ingrained habits are as solid as concrete. The biggest mistakes people make are often in underestimating the amount of energy that will be required when we first start making changes.
Doing that which you are familiar with takes little NEW energy and is rarely overridden by anything else.
We’re used to doing things a certain way and if we try to change those comfortable old routines, we feel nervous and out of place.
Part of the survival instinct that isn’t all that necessary anymore….
In order to become comfortable with new habits, you need to stick with them long enough so that they become second nature.
And that’s a lot easier said than done. (Much easier visualized and gratefulized than materialized. Sounds like a self-sabotage script to me.)
Remember, that’s how you got comfortable where you are – even if it’s not exactly where you want to be.
A significant amount of leverage, action, focus and will is needed in order to change old habits, but once changed, like cement…yep…. they become nonconscious and semi-permanent.
There’s more to share….it’s going to get exciting!
I’ve identified 12 of the life patterns which cause us to trip up – and make the same mistakes again and again. To discover which of the 12 patterns you have been the victim of and how to eliminate self-sabotage in your life (or those of your clients) you can pick up the program below.
Lifestorms: 12 Obstacles to Achievement: The Paradox of Overcoming Self Sabotage to Achieve Love, Power, Money and Happiness.
Discover why life often brings you exactly what you don’t want…and how self sabotage can hide around every corner. Some people have guessed at the bizarre nature of self sabotage. Guess no more. Self sabotage is very real in everyone’s life. It is completely devastating and 100% resolvable!
- Do you ever know you should start on a project but don’t?
- Do you have projects that you have started but never finished?
- Do you ever say the one wrong thing at the wrong time?
- Have you ever had things going well in life only to have everything blow up in a day?
- Have you tried to be so careful not to make a mistake that you were shocked when you made a truly costly one?
- Have you ever promised yourself to stay out of trouble in some way only to find yourself in the same trouble or worse again?
Now you can discover your own life patterns so you can eliminate unconscious self sabotage immediately. This program will break the heavy chains that hold you from your dreams and your goals.
This program is the first program ever made public that shows you how to identify specific self sabotaging behaviors and negative life patterns. Better? You can ultimately erase those life patterns and rewrite new “schemas” into your brain that will allow you to meet your goals and experience fulfilling relationships.
Here is what you will learn:
- How to identify which of the 12 negative life patterns you live.
- How to find the triggers of the lifestorms that you just can’t believe you experience.
- How to change the self sabotage into success, happiness or something productive.
- How to remove almost all obstacles between you and your goals.
- How to understand those around you so you don’t push their buttons.
- How to predict your behavior and that of others.
- How to actually achieve your goals so they are more than just a dream.
No one anywhere has ever put such a program on CD. There is not one person anywhere who can’t utilize every minute of this insightful information. These three CD’s are packed with the most powerful tools for getting past life’s roadblocks and personal sabotage ever imagined. Anyone can utilize this information and I personally guarantee that if you follow the instructions you will not experience self sabotaging behavior anymore. Your goals become reality at speeds faster than you ever imagined.