Ask Kevin Anything – September 2020
Every question you have is open game so go for it. I prefer to answer questions that aren’t googleable.
Dr. Hogan, what is the most surprising body language cue you’ve seen?
Psychopaths eyes don’t dilate when viewing violent acts and actions to others.
Kevin, what is the psychology of taking selfies and the editing process that follows? Also, is the selfie changing the definition of narcissism?
When the ability to take photographs began 150 years ago, people wanted to record unique moments, people, events. The process then was very expensive, slow and cumbersome. In early photos people didn’t smile and there was no way to edit a photo. 90 years ago people started to smile as taking a photo was a bit faster process but the cameras were still pretty expensive for the average person. 50 – 80 years ago cameras had become more of a middle class staple in the U.S. but you could only take 12 – 24 pictures per roll of film. Then you took the roll in for processing which could take several days depending on the vendor. The individual took a picture at the Grand Canyon and then one in the desert and then another at another famous monument. A family on a week long trip might take 50 – 150 photos. It was still too expensive for most to take more than one picture of a single shot. You took a picture of the Rocky Mountains and then one of you in the Rockies. You might have smiled, you might not. The attention during this whole century from say 1870 – 1970 say, was to hold the camera still enough and have the exact light to have a chance at getting a photo as you wouldn’t find out if the picture took for a couple of weeks when you returned home. The picture was a memory that you were indeed “there.” Many people invited friends and family to come to their homes and look at the photos they had taken of their trip or very special event. Taking pictures of the self was very rare until about 15 years ago.
10 years ago that all changed. Now you could take 20 or 100 pictures in a minute on a phone then find the best photos. You could then upload that photo to a social media site. Today you can set filters to change what you look like. You can make yourself look like E.T. or a more standard issue narrow chin wide eyed alien. You can add stars or lights or pretty much anything you want to your picture. You can edit for as long as you can stay awake to accomplish the “perfect effect.”
Taking video of yourself or events was once very expensive. Video cameras, recording materials, all were very costly. Even as late as the 1990’s video cameras had poor sound and poor abilities in mediocre lighting scenarios. Now you can get some pretty good video from your phone in pretty poor lighting, at least by comparison to the last 50 years.
Enter Facebook and Instagram.
Now we know after multiple studies that the longer people take to edit their photos and post them the worse people feel about themselves, their moods deteriorate quicker and their self assessment of their facial appearance is quite negative.
Current studies in 2020 show that women take up to FIVE MINUTES to edit a selfie. They use this time to remove everything that makes them a unique person. They remove dark circles, change their skin tones/colors and most significantly the shapes of their faces. By the time they are done, selfies bare no real resemblance to the person in reality.
Researchers have found that particularly women report being happier with their edited self but the truth is that the task turns out to be self destructive. They become dissatisfied or disgusted with their face.
Certainly narcissism has become a pervasive personality disorder, desirable even. But it’s not the only one. The ability to change reality, so long as you don’t go out into reality so others see what one really looks like can trigger psychopathic tendencies as well.
Netflix is filled with shows that favor psychopathic “heroes.”
Narcissism when from being annoying at best to so common in the population it is difficult to consider it abnormal.
If you want to start to repair the damage you’ve done to yourself take a bunch of selfies but only do one edit, say a lighting edit. Leave the rest alone. You’ll become happier with your real life face as opposed to the alien face. And that happiness will be lasting.
Kev, should I make it obvious that I romantically want the person I go out on my first post-covid date with next week, or should I play it as stand-offish? I’m looking for someone who will be long term, probably marriage at some point.
You have a POST covid date? I’ll let that slide. The best research shows that if you want the other person to have a sexual interest in YOU, YOU want to give the cues that allow them to be CERTAIN that YOU ARE INTERESTED in them. If you don’t, you create uncertainty and uncertainty reduces sex drive. BUT, what was once called, “playing hard to get” or actually BEING hard to get, increases the desire to capture. If you’re looking long term, that can be inserted into conversation along the way. If someone is looking for something different than you, you probably don’t need to invest the time.
There are a few phases here to make this simple.
- Your profile should show that you are SELECTIVE but UNIQUE. After my last long term relationship, my profile had a very narrow age range for example. 21 – 30. I also made a detailed description of the kind of woman I don’t want in my life (I didn’t want to meet someone who was married, for example) and I also stated the opposite of what almost every other man said in their profile. Most people for example, say, “no drama,” “no baggage.” That’s not possible of course so I said, “I expect some drama and I’m here to listen to your past challenges because that IS how life IS.” My profile photos made it clear that I was an international speaker and traveler and when out of country especially, I love to go out to nice restaurants and see and do cool stuff when I travel, I’m happy to just have dinner and hang out doing one of dozens of things at home, when in town. Finally I made it clear that a two hour dinner date a restaurant was not going to happen. I said, “Research me first, decide if you can handle this public person who is also reclusive. If that’s new, bring a bottle of your favorite wine and I’ll take care of making dinner.” (Something like that, it’s been a year and I should have saved my profile.) All photos were current and unfiltered for better or worse.
- Once you meet the person trade 2 for 1’s. Let them tell two great stories after you tell one great story. You can’t interrogate but you want stories. And you want to tell great stories on that first night because you don’t want to waste your time with someone who isn’t interested in you. If they have something you like, you can work your way toward romance, but there is no need to make that happen the first time you see someone. You can. It is a Tinder world out there, but, if you get that today, you might find they’ll eventually offer that to someone else. That may not be worth it. There’s no hard and fast rules here but romance is different in every situation and couple.
- Talk a lot, listen a lot more. Awkward is fine early on. It’s OK to let the person know that you have three people waiting to take you out next week. It’s also OK to let the person know that you don’t have time for someone who is seeing other people. Don’t lie or B.S. people. If you have options, tell them that (Scarcity) but tell them that you wanted to meet this person FIRST so you might be able to say “no” to everyone else as the day/evening progresses.
Scarcity matters at the profile stage and being able to show you have high value as a potential life partner (resources, beauty, knowledge, unique talents, skills). People will feel better, on average seeing someone who is in demand but willing to put attention on THEM instead of the next three guys/girls.
Ultimately if you are straight with people, frame truthfully and wisely, you could end up with some really great experiences and the price of great experiences are some challenging one’s even with the best laid plans…
Kev, I’ve heard you say something like, “Google hasn’t helped life as much as you might think.” I have to disagree. I can find answers to problems today that took my Mom months of visits to the library of the bookstore. Google gets us to where we need to go as fast as possible and shows you where to get gas, food or whatever else. I think you are wrong on this one.
I find google to be incredibly helpful…just not as much as you might guess…
As a writer and fact checker of life, I find it a vast resource. I’d rather have it than not, that’s for sure… BUT… google changes your perception of what LIFE IS.
Google doesn’t help you make more money, be a better parent, stop child abuse, help you find a job.
The average person on this planet isn’t using google to change the quality of their life… at all.
Google let’s you do all kinds of things that would have been impossible 15 years ago. You can go to Google Earth and pretty much see what a guys yard looks like in Greenland. You can see how people live in seconds in almost any place on the earth. You can find out almost anything you need to learn about another person in minutes. You can find out bits of information (sometimes they are facts and sometimes they are not) instantly.
In fact, you have almost the entire social collective conscious of knowledge AND INTENT at your fingertips.
And everyone has access to the same information though you will get different answers to your questions than I will get to the same questions based on my search history.
Google often tells you what you want to hear and not what the best and most precise answer based on study and rigorous data actually is.
And here’s the thing.
With this entire resource of every bit of recorded history and landscape of the earth and indeed the universe, you still have no better income or quality of life to show for it.
I am often quoted about this: “If it’s googlable it probably won’t help your life all that much.” Now that is true I say that and it’s true that it’s not an accurate assessment. The precise assessment is that “on average, you have the knowledge of the world at your fingertips and your life is no better off for it.”
The reason is that success and quality of life are not based on what is googleable. Quality of life comes in the nuance, in the interaction skills you have with other people. It’s all the “soft skills” that change the world and make it better or worse. It’s in the emotional intelligence, the ability to influence.
Never let go of the database of human knowledge, it’s a great resource, but it is not where you find life’s answers in YOUR LIFE. That’s why people who’s life revolves around stuff that is NOT googleable have a chance to be wealthier, happier and healthier.
Kev, What’s the most important influence technique of the last five years?
Since I wrote Invisible Influence in 2013 we’ve added almost 50 new Laws of Persuasion. There are some serious contenders for the most important. Instead I’ll give you one of the most interesting and we’ll get to the most important in the upcoming book.
Perhaps one of the most fascinating influence discoveries is the deep research into the impact of beauty on Conservatives and not Liberals.
I wouldn’t have come up with this on my own. I was incredibly skeptical when it was first presented to me but the evidence is overwhelming.
The impact is broad.
Attractive conservative candidates tend to capture more votes than their competitors all other factors being equal.
But we already knew that.
What we didn’t know was that conservative candidates first are on average more attractive than their liberal counterparts.
Second conservative VOTERS are influenced by beauty and attractiveness but on average liberal voters are not.
Expanding further conservatives in most walks of life rate attractiveness in others as a significant point of differentiation in social status and the hierarchy of the social atmosphere.
Beauty is a sign of status for the individual and for the person (she in this case) is with, in the conservative mind. The liberal mind? It’s all superfluous.
On a simpler scale, most Twin Peaks and Hooters restaurants, are found in red states and patronized by conservatives more so than liberals.
The distinction and difference of how conservatives view beauty and attractiveness when it’s of little concern to liberals is fascinating. Conservatives value beauty as a way of differentiating themselves from others.
There is debate as to whether the politics causes the significance of beauty or whether beauty is evolutionarily speaking, a reward or status symbol of those who are conscientious. You’ll have more depth about that in the upcoming book, Prestige Persuasion.
There is so much research here and all of this stems from even deeper distinctions into how ideologies cause people to see the world differently from others.
When doing a webinar should I be seated or should I stand? I’ve seen you interviewed on several webinars this year and I’ve noticed you usually stand but not always and I’ve noticed you favor a red and black plaid shirt. Why?
If you are the host it’s sometimes better to be seated so you can have your notes at hand. I don’t host a lot of interviews and can’t remember the last time I interviewed someone else. What I have discovered is that red is the most valuable attractor of all colors a person can wear. Because of my body shape and image, I find I look better in red/black vs. straight red (though burgundy or cab shades of red work well with a navy blue jacket for me). That fact noted, I’ve probably worn a red/black long sleeve shirt in half of my webinars this year. If I were doing my own webinars as we will next month, this will not be the case.
For you, you have to consider red as a possibility simply because it is hard to NOT look at red. Red captivates and typically holds attention. But red doesn’t look as good on everyone as another color might.
That said, red tends to make most people more attractive to most people.
If everyone starts to wear red the impact will reduce.
Standing vs. sitting. Sitting removes all variability and is much easier to look away from than watching someone who is standing. It takes a lot of guts to stand during a webinar. I’ve seen Victor Antonio, for example, pull it off. I do fairly well. You have to be comfortable with your material and your interviewer to stand as you do NOT have an instant calibration tool as to whether you are behaving appropriately and it makes structure more difficult.
Standing gives more fascination to stories.
The upside of being seated is that your audio is more stable and that is a high positive factor. The camera will pick you up more perfectly as well, not having to adjust as you move. You’ll have your notes at hand and people expect that “news anchor peering at the paper feel” more than you would have with standing.
Kev, you’ve been pretty on target with investments this year. What’s the latest? What do you think of bitcoin?
There is simply no reason to not hold physical gold and silver. Over and over we see that when things get confusing and uncertain in the world, gold and silver hold their own. For similar reasons bitcoin MIGHT be able to develop a positive/similar track record. It’s anti-dollar, anti-Euro, anti-everything much like gold/silver and I like that a lot as an investment point.
Anything can happen in life so I wouldn’t ignore bitcoin, nor would I put more than 5% of wealth into bitcoin or crypto’s. It’s early, I hope, in crypto’s. Less than 20 years. Gold and silver have been money for 5,000 years. That’s a big sample vs. a very small sample.
I expect gold to stay between 1875 and 2000 over the next two months, into the election. Metals are being heavily manipulated right now. The tone of the U.S. in November will tell us a lot about the price of gold and silver.
Some new things go on to succeed. Most staples, remain staples in life though most things also have a life cycle.
For the last couple weeks I’ve been in DUST and SQQQ. That could change on a dime. These are not long term places to be, but short term it’s more likely that gold stocks will go down, more likely that the QQQ’s will go down. More likely doesn’t mean that’s what I “think” will happen. It means it’s MORE LIKELY. A 70% chance of rain doesn’t mean I think it will rain. It means in 70% of all situations like THIS, it will rain and 30% of the time it won’t.
That said, if the Fed keeps printing unlimited money supply then of course EVERYTHING could have a higher price over time.
Kev, the first week of covid you talked about a Zombie Apocalypse. What’s going to happen?
Part of it has occurred. You’ve seen all kinds of craziness in the U.S. You’ve seen demonstrations, looting, people being shot for no reason. You’ve seen Graceland defaced. You can guess that sickened me…
All that said, the world has been lucky that the world leaders triggered fear into their citizens. For awhile it kept people at home reducing transmission and demonstrations. But it also keeps emotions that WILL be released …released. There simply will come a point when you’ll see a reaction to whoever wins the election that will blend with covid and the various movements. It’s more likely to be significant in the southern states because of winter climate more than anything. People won’t “demonstrate” in Minnesota in January, but they very well might again in May.
Kevin, I saw you talking about “civil wars” and I want to know if you think that is really possible in the U.S.
I think a civil war SINGULAR is highly unlikely. The north and south already had it out and the results are history.
But I would say there is at least a 10% chance you’ll see something between city demonstrations and all out city wars in November and in May. That also means I think there is a 90% chance you will not. For me, it is logical to prepare for a 10% chance of anything significant in life.
Kev, do you still think Biden will win the election?
I never thought that or said that in public or private.
As of today September 12, 2020, the election is close to an even money bet. Certainly no one could “think” someone will win or lose. How would you “think” that? You could place a bet on one side or another however. (Do you think “heads” will come up when you flip a coin or do you know that over 1 million tosses, about half the time it will be heads?)
I do THINK whoever wins Florida is very likely to win the election because it holds a 50 vote swing in the electoral college. The data I look at shows no real difference between the candidates right now. 7 weeks away is too far away to “think” much of anything…
Currently the sportsbook I use has Biden as about a 55% chance of winning the election but Trump as a 53% chance of winning Florida. I suspect those two things will NOT happen simultaneously in this universe.
Kev, when you return to Poland!
If events return to the real world, we’ll be back there in 2021.
How to Write, Publish & Sell Your Book
begins October 1, 2020
BUT…please read carefully before applying!
Seriously. If I can do it, you definitely can do it. I had no chance to become a Bestselling Author. In fact, I had no chance to become an author, period.
“Your grammar is poor.”
“You have an unusual (code for ‘bad’) writing style.”
“You have no track record.”
I was turned down from 247 publishers over a period of FOUR YEARS of submissions before….
…The Psychology of Persuasion was accepted by Pelican Publishing in Louisiana. Next to Zig Ziglar’s See You at the Top, PoP has now sold more than any other author they’ve published.
Pick up your copy. Notice how the few stories in the book that reflect “current events” that happened in 1990? Now, check out the original publication date. 1996.
So when I tell you I was a marginal writer with poor English, grammar, editing, and literary skills, I kid you not.
So, no, no, no. The chances that you are LESS talented and skilled than I are remote, teeny tiny, nil, I doubt it, who are you kidding, I just used 5 commas in a sentence!
Now, say a “million copies worldwide.”
You don’t have to be incredibly talented, and yes, you can make amazing things happen…if you’d like…I’ll show you how in complete detail.
Before we begin… What is an Online Course with Kevin hogan?
An online course with Kevin Hogan doesn’t meet at a specific time. It is done 100% online with video, audio, text, and e-mail and it allows you the freedom to do your studying and homework when you make the time.
The best part about these courses, the way I develop them, is that you get one-on-one coaching from someone whose time you could probably never buy on an hourly or daily basis.
Total enrollment is limited to 9 people. Please, don’t wait until the end of the week.
Now, let’s get to the “what’s in it for you” part…
The most important thing you need to know is that most of your money is NOT made in KINDLE.
MOST of your money is not made in the bookstore!
MOST OF YOUR MONEY, say from The Science of Influence, IS MADE HERE:
That’s right. And then it’s published in almost 40 more nations around the globe.
Most authors make most of their money from publishing contracts around the world.
No one wants you to know that because no one knows how to get those contracts out there.
You need to know. You DESERVE to know.
And those contracts don’t just bring book sales and royalty checks from around the world, they bring YOU to other countries and make you an international celebrity.
I sold more copies of The Psychology of Persuasion in these five countries combined than I did in the United States. Then we got The Psychology of Persuasion published in 38 other countries.
This IS…EVERYTHING you need to know to write, get published, promote and help build financial independence with your book…and it is included in this seven-week course!
Each week you will receive a detailed lesson with an outrageous amount of homework that is ALL about YOU and YOUR FUTURE WORK…and coaching that guarantees that IF you can write relatively intelligently, I can show you how you can be in print.
IF you have wanted to experience the benefits of being a published author, this course is the one you should take this year.
Now, I’m going to stop you right here.
I guarantee you’ve seen other people who promise they can make you #1.
I won’t make you that promise!
Oh, I can get you to be #1 in Non-Fiction, Sub Category Psychology/ Sub Category Human Behavior/Sub Category Thumb Twiddling, a category of one book at Amazon. Yes, I can show you how to do that with 100% certainty.
But…NO ONE can guarantee you will be a REAL #1. In fact, I’ve been to #2 on the BOOK bestseller list, THREE TIMES and it’s part of what keeps me shooting for more. So if #2 out of FOUR MILLION BOOKS is OK, keep reading. If not, you might want to believe the nonsense others have to share.
This E-Course will NOT be offered again this year to anyone. It’s been a long journey for me and I’ve finally seen the inside of why it took me so long to get published…why no one wanted to talk to me…why I was considered unlikely to succeed.
I WILL show you all the secrets of getting a publisher to pay you to write a book including the 11 MAGIC words that need to be in the first paragraph of your query letter to a publisher to virtually guarantee your book gets accepted while all the others are trashed in file 13.
I will also show you how to write in such a way that publishers will want you to write book after book for them. EVERYTHING is right here.
Notice: The course is 100% copyrighted and each participant will need to guarantee in WRITING (non-disclosure agreement) that they will not reveal the course material to ANYONE anywhere. Anyone who uses this information as laid before you can get a book deal…something only 1 in 1200 people currently writing a book will experience in the next FIVE years!
Be prepared to work in this e-course. I’m not simply going to give you a data dump and run your credit card. I’m going to coach you like a football coach for 43 days and obligate you to become successfully in-print with an important publisher. How well does this work? I challenge you to find a dozen other nonfiction authors with this 25-year track record.
When you do you’ll be able to go visit this big Teddy Bear in Sorrento Italy (or was he in Positano?!) BECAUSE they want you there to share your book with them and then take you to see the sites.
If you are ready to work…so am I.
Here is some of what you can expect:
As the course begins, you will receive your first (of 6) modules on how to write, publish and get your book SOLD! Modules will be released weekly – though there may be some exceptions to how long a module will take you to complete. You don’t need to race as you are writing your book.
Whether you want to have a major publisher publish your book or “self-publish,” in some form, you essentially have no chance of success unless you know what to actually DO.
You need to know what:
(a) publishers want in a proposal
(b) what makes a book sell
(c) how to make copies of your book fly off the shelves.
Of course, there is more to it than just those three components.
Writing a book is something most people stop doing when they are halfway through. Even if they do finish, they normally don’t get the book into print. It goes up on the shelf or in a drawer.
That might actually “sound familiar to you”.
Here’s the simple fact: In the public eye, being in print…in book form is the number one credibility builder. (Number two is a Ph.D./M.D.)
The tuition for this course is less than $2000. A Ph.D. will run you roughly 60 times that number and take 4-9 years to accomplish. Good luck with that…
Once you are in print, you can piggyback your success on your first book. It is actually easy to get into print the second time after your first successful book!
That is when publishers happily call YOU. (This is waaaay better than the other way around.)
The question simply boils down to this: Do you want to be published?
This course is not for the “dreamer” or the person who refuses to write or promote. For 7 weeks I will show you every step of writing, proposing, getting in print, how to negotiate a contract, how to avoid getting ripped off by a publisher once they offer you a deal.
You will also learn how to sell a LOT of books once you are in print. I’ll show you how to get book signings, get on television and radio and link your name to some of the biggest names in your profession through endorsements and testimonials.
I’m going to take you through every step of the process and highlight all of the different ways you can profitably get in print.
It takes hundreds of hours to write a book. It takes hundreds of hours to research a book. If your time was only worth $20 per hour your time investment will average $20,000 per book. Isn’t it worth doing right?
I spent YEARS trying to get my first book into print and it cost me thousands of dollars in the learning process…all trial and error including having my book held up with a publisher that eventually went bankrupt. I’ll show you how to avoid all of this!
I’ll put you on the inside track and help you pull strings and show you the real inside stuff that no one knows but people who are both authors AND publishers.
The course will have six specific modules. The course lasts approximately 7 weeks.
Here’s one small piece of what you will learn:
- How to write your book so that it will sell a publisher and so that it will sell to the general public. These are two COMPLETELY different sets of problems.
- How to self-publish for those with a little backbone that want to maximize profits.
- How to avoid all the rip-offs in contracts that publishers will ask you to sign. This part of the course can save you between 50% and 75% of your royalty check. Many authors expect royalty checks of $20,000 or more, only to see a check of $4,000. Why? They signed a contract with little catches that even an attorney wouldn’t have caught because very few attorneys understand the nuances of publishing contracts…
- You will learn how to actually sell your book so you can make some money and not just have a book that is “remaindered.” (Those books in the “bargain books” section at Barnes and Noble…you don’t get paid for those, you know…)
- I’ll show you how to get a significant advance on either your first or second book. This is top secret and few authors ever will see a penny advance for their first or second book.
- You will find out how you can get in print in hardcover for your first book! Few people ever get into hardcover editions.
- I’ll show you how to get your book into audio editions that make money and then we’ll talk about getting your book published in other languages so you can be making money while you sleep…
- AND lots of bonus secrets that you will kick yourself for not having invested in this class that I will tell only students, including How to raise your Amazon ranking overnight.
- How to create a title that makes ’em buy it.
- How to write a subtitle that will determine success or failure of your book…with 90% accuracy and I can tell you how to calculate the odds so you will probably never need my coaching for your writing again.
Your Tuition Investment: $1997.00. Apply NOW and your tuition investment is only $1247
Apply now. You can divide your tuition into four installments of $347 each on the application
That said… I reserve the right to decline any application. If you are not 100% satisfied after your first week of the course, you will receive a refund (minus a $235 non-refundable registration fee).
Your Tuition Investment: $1997.00. $1247. Apply now to have the discount applied! 9 spots only – this class fills fast!