with Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
Do YOU have a question? E-mail askkevin AT kevinhogan.com
Do you have a question for Kevin? Your question will remain anonymous unless you specifically ask us to post your name! If your question is published, your name will be submitted in a drawing for a gift certificate to be used in our catalog at any time. Dozens of gift certificates have been awarded – submit your question for a chance to win!
Q and A– Your Questions Answered
A. I don’t do it with my mind and neither does anyone else. It’s an illusion. If anyone tells you they can bend spoons (or anything) without touching them, they are lying to you or they are delusional. Simple quickie test. Have them place the spoon in a clear ice bucket. You seal the lid. They can’t touch the bucket and must stay one foot away from the bucket. Have them show you their mental prowess. They can’t do it with their mind and it will settle your intense curiosity once and for all. No one can. Anyone who gets past you, have them drop me a note, we’ll put it live on video and I’ll add $50,000 to James Randi’s million in cash.
A. You can apply www.kevinhogan.com/innercircle
Q. If you were in network marketing, and you wanted to duplicate your ability to create initial interest in you, your website, your business, or your product, if you had one choice, what would you get people interested in first and would you use online means or offline means to create this initial interest?
A. When I ran the State-licensed hypnotherapy school, we researched this and found that the therapist’s voice is a better direction at first, then as the person regains some control in life, let them make their own tapes.
A. Nothing nuts about it. There are some people who claim to have lucid dreams where they have some control over the end result of the dream. I believe that it is not only possible, as I’ve experienced it a few times myself (or at least I THINK that’s what I experienced!), but I think it is something a reasonable number of people can learn to do. That said, aside from fending off nightmarish scenarios, this is a lot of work for very little payoff!
A. Well…hmmm…There’s a lot of loud music, charity auctions that raise hundreds of thousands of dollars, lots of men hoping to see lots of attractive women in various stages of dress. Hundreds of people hanging out, talking, enjoying the Southern California air….There’s a lot of men and women with big smiles on their faces, almost everyone having fun and a very unusual sense of freedom. A couple of pictures I didn’t put up last week www.playboymansionphotos
A. Year to date the Dow is up 7%. Still really haven’t seen a true correction and it’s coming. But the interesting thing is that world governments (who take money from tax payers) are giving money to banks to save their butts from loaning people money who had no right to have loans in the first place. (Irresponsible businesses, irresponsible people). That’ll happen in the USA too and thus bank stocks might actually be a play. That said, I’ll stick with AAUK, MSF, LZOEX and CVX…at least for now. I don’t *know* what is going to happen next. I imagine the market will go up, test the highs, fail and plunge.
Q. There is this man at the local coffee shop – I’ve caught him looking at me through the reflection in the window glass, several times. We made eye contact – but since I felt it unrealistic that I could actually make eye contact with anyone through a reflection just ignored it. Recently I’ve caught him sneaking glances at me while he thinks I’m not looking – I caught him through a reflection in a glass door. Once, I was sitting in front of the window reading a book. He took a call and went outside. He kept walking back in forth in front of me, even had his back facing me, but only if I was looking up, once I went back to reading my book he stayed away to my far left – I made a test and he did the same thing four times. He also talks out loud about his job – income and up coming projects – makes me think he’s bragging or just insecure?
Q. I own several of your products, just purchased “Three Disciplines…” and no doubt will purchase more products in the future. I am a believer. I have embarked on a massive effort to grow personally and professionally. In addition to your products I have also purchased products from Learning Strategies Corp. (Paul Scheele). I would bet that you are familiar with his methodology if not with the man himself (NLP, Accelerated Learning, Preconscious Processing, etc.). I know your thoughts on affirmations which I don’t believe this is but how about the above? My time is too valuable to spend on something that has no or questionable value. Your thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
A. There are a lot of accelerated learning techniques I’ve researched that actually work. Preconscious processing is hmmm…not really a learnable skill. “Preconscious” is an old Freudian concept about information that slides past consciousness and is recallable later. There is some thin research in this area. Nothing to get all that excited about. If you want me to tell you that you can read 25,000 words per minute with 70% comprehension, I can’t do that, because you can’t and neither can I, nor can any other human I’ve ever met. I once had a $5,000 challenge on the Internet and it wasn’t accepted. The brain is an amazing thing, but it simply can’t process information that quickly.
Q. Hey Kev, Got a question…You mentioned recently (just read it) about the whole “Girls are extra frisky” thing for 5 days….yea i’ve heard that too, and how like, almost 10% of the people on the planet, their Dad isn’t who they think it is…. (By the way, how do they come up with these studies on “the world” or “the United States”…because I’ve NEVER taken a survey or anything that would reveal my demographics, relationship preferences, buying decisions) So anyway, the way you put it made it sound like you believe women CAN’T or WON’T ever be TRULY 100% faithful in a relationship…do you believe that? (I believe there are good girls out there personally…definitely some bad ones too though).
A. Boy do we have a case of the naivete’s this week… There are lots of good studies on human sexuality that have legit data. Fact is almost as many women as men have relationships while in relationships and that percentage is distressingly high. If women (or men) work in an office environment the chances of having another partner is greatly enhanced. (They spend more time with the person at work than they ever will with the person at home.) Similarly, people who stray that don’t do so with people at work, tend to stray with their close friends’ spouses. So, how ya’ feeling so far?…..
Q. Dear Kevin, I have a question I would like you to answer if you can. I’m a very attractive woman but I’ve noticed in the last few years I haven’t been getting the attention like I use to.See up until two years ago I was married and my husband was very kind and for some stupid reason I left him for another man who turned out to be abusive all my friends and family have noticed that I’m not as happy or bubbly anymore I was wondering could my body language be putting up barriers between myself and others? Can men pickup on the fact that I no longer trust them could that be where the lack of attention comes from? I mean I look better now than two years ago everybody says how gorgeous I am but I just don’t turn heads like I use to is this my body language and how can I change it? I’ve noticed girls who aren’t very attractive getting attention why is this?
A. (This is the lady we were referring to in the previous question?!) Can men pick up on the fact that you don’t trust men? Yes. Of course. The fact that people tell you that you are gorgeous doesn’t mean you are. It means that’s what your friends are telling you. (You might be…send a photo!) Anyway, don’t worry, men don’t trust you either…remember you left the good guy for the bad guy…and boy the good guys hate that when it happens….
A. Impression management is all about you making a great impression on someone. That includes the first time you meet someone, the way you carry yourself, your nonverbal and verbal communication, your reputation, your level of intelligence, your style of dress. Pretty darned important stuff. Check out the Body Language Home Study Course.
Q. If I want to ask her out and I know she is a emotional person, I’m going to be seated far to her left because it will activate the emotional part of the brain. If I know she is a logical thinking person, very rational, I would sit on her right side. Remember, if you want to activate the emotional part of the brain, sit to the left and if you want to engage in stimulating conversation sit to the right. What do you mean by emotional person..Does it mean that creative emotion side of her or right handed? If it’s the first date, how would I know she’s emotional or logical thinking person? Do you mean that if she’s right handed, on a date, I’ll sit on her left to activate her emotional part. But if it’s for business, I’ll sit on her right. If the person is left handed, is it the vice-versa I am totally fascinated by your website, and want to purchase some of your products, I just don’t know where to begin…I want it all!
A. There is no “creative” side of the brain. Another myth. And you have the science completely wrong on everything else here as well. Intense emotionslight up the right side of the brain more than the left and are often activated by looking to the left for at least a minute. Start with the Body Language Home Study Course.
Q. Can you use hypnosis (covert or otherwise) to help someone who has dementia or Alzheimer’s? If yes, how, if no, then, Can you use hypnosis to prevent Alzheimer’s? I have 2 family members in their 80’s who have dementia/Alzheimers, and I am so concerned that others (my Mom) and myself may become afflicted with this horrific disease.
A. To my knowledge there is no data on hypnosis for helping dementia or Alzheimers. We do know that exercise and a very engaged mind are the best preventatives there are. Anything comes up in hypnosis research, I’ll let you know.
Can’t Get Through: 8 Barriers to Communication
“This effective and lively…approach will find an appreciative readership.”–Library Journal
Communication is the key to understanding your peers, yet sometimes it can be the hardest thing to do. Everyone has been in the embarrassing situation where the right words just won’t come out, and the discussion seems to be going nowhere.
From the author of Talk Your Way to the Top and The Psychology of Persuasion, comes a useful handbook to perfecting your communication techniques. When your discussions seem to be going nowhere, or when you just can’t seem to get through to another person, you may be falling into one or more common conversational traps. In Can’t Get Through, Kevin Hogan and his coauthor, Ron Stubbs, identify the eight most common mistakes. Then, these two expert therapists illustrate, with scripts and examples, how to develop better habits. By honing your communications skills, you can improve your productivity and effectiveness at work, as well as ensure stronger elationships with your friends and family.
Everyone’s experienced it: feeling trapped in a going-nowhere conversation wih a vague, argumentative, or just plain boring talker or, worse, realizing that you are the one who just can’t seem to get the point across to your listener. While it is easy to identify a bad conversationalist, pinpointing how to improve communication can be difficult.
Experts Kevin Hogan and Ron Stubbs can help. Here, they identify the eight most common communication mistakes. These bad habits include failing to make a good first impression, flubbing the story, not listening, arguing with the intent to harm, criticizing, displaying hostility and contempt, disregarding body language, and ignoring the cycle of communication.
Then, the authors use plenty of examples and suggestion to illustrate the proper techniques and strategies for improving communication. By using these tips, anyone can improve their conversational skills and be a better communicator, in their business, social, or family life.
“Mars and Venus have finally connected in this masterpiece of interpersonal communication by Hogan and Stubbs!” – Katherin Scott, dating and life coach, www.makinglovework.com
“This book is a must-read for anyone currently in or entering any type of relationship, whether it’s personal or business. Hogan and Stubbs have hit the mark.” – Laurie Z., Zebra Productions, Inc., producer/composer of Roots: The Solo Acoustic Piano Album, considered for eight Grammy nominations, www.lauriez.com
“In my business, good communication isn’t a question, it’s a must-have. Hogan and Stubbs have written the new expert’s guide to communication.” = Elsom Eldridge, Jr., coauthor, How to Position Yourself as the Obvious Expert.
Kevin Hogan holds a Psy.D. in psychology. His expertise in the field of human influence has made him a sought-after speaker and teach worldwide. Hogan’s books have been translated into many languages, including Chinese, Indonesian, Polish, Spanish, and Portugese.
As a practicing clinical hypnotherapist, Ron Stubbs has helped clients aged 4 to 90 with a wide range of problems, including fibromyalgia, depression, chronic illness, and abuse issues. He is a nationally recognized public speaker and corporate trainer, specializing in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and body-language techniques.
To order or learn more: Can’t Get Through