with Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
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This Week’s Questions:
Q… Why do many people say that you can’t get people to do something that is against their morals. Are morals inviolable? Don’t people violate them all the time? Are there limits to what you can get people to do? Do hypnotists say that you can’t because they want to make people comfortable with hypnosis?
Answer: 1) People have no “morals” that are inviolable. People will and do things they believe they would never have done. People are terrible at predicting what they might or might not do. They actually have no idea.
2) “Morals” don’t actually exist. People are really talking about values and ideals. And regardless of what you call these standards, everyone defies/breaks/goes against/walks over the line of these standards regularly.
3) Hypnotists are taught they can’t make someone do something they wouldn’t already do. That is a “frameable truth” in that people will do anything. I imagine “they” use the “morals” citation to make people comfortable with hypnosis, yes.
4) The point however should never get to hypnosis or psychology or drug use. People don’t “have” morals. They have ideals and values. People violate their own ideals and values regularly. Hypnosis has nothing to do with it, nor should it ever enter the conversation.
5) People are perhaps afraid of “losing control” to a hypnotist, when they are not in control in the first place. They fear the wrong person. They should fear themselves. People will do whatever they do (nonconscious actions) or what they want to do (choices) and hypnosis is not important to the discussion of “morals” and actions.
Q… You seem to have time management down to a science. When I set up my schedule I rarely keep to it. I haven’t picked up Time for Love, Time for Money. I will but any quick tips? TIA!
Answer: Time for Love, Time for Money is pretty central to productivity that is sustainable in your life or at your business. It’s an utterly unique program. Pick it up.
I think the biggest mistake people make in planning their schedules is they don’t put in entertainment/leisure stuff on the calendar first. Secondarily they don’t get “spouse approval” on the schedule. You can have a time management system but without family stamp of approval you are simply creating more stress. You can’t go it alone with time. Time is Love and Time is Money (and if you are any good at logic you can see that Love is Money…scary).
So, 1) Place your leisure and family activities on the calendar FIRST. 2) Place time for yourself (including sleep, personal time and even naps) on the calendar next. 3) Put your current income producing activities on the calendar next. 4) Finally post your future security projects. Do this, in this order and you will have less external and less internal resistance to change and truly be in charge of your life.
Q… I am considering coming to your seminar in London but I don’t need to hear what I’ve already listened to on your CD’s. I own the entire Science of Influence CD Series 1-72 and I also have the Covert Hypnosis CD’s. Will you be talking about new findings or am I better off listening to my CD’s? (Don’t get me wrong, I have listened to them a dozen times through and they are superb.
Answer: Triggering Instant Influence will be 80% information you won’t find on any of my CD programs or books. Instead, it will be like two days of Influence: Boot Camp packed into one day. The tuition for the entire day is less than 300 GBP. There won’t be a recording of the event, so….
Q…Your program, Eye of the Storm was fascinating, but you did leave me a curiosity as to what is going to happen next in the world. Can you be more definitive?
Answer: We aren’t quite past the point of no return but we are very close. There’s a lot of variables in this mix. You have people being “given” other people’s money to buy a new house. You have people being “given” other people’s money to buy a new car. It’s all getting frightfully non-Democratic and non-Capitalistic and very, very reminiscent of historical preludes to devastating results.
The current administration has lulled the electorate into a cocaine-like addiction to free money that is very dangerous to the present stability of the economy and a 100% disaster for educating an electorate on math, consumerism, rational thinking, founding principles of this country, and on and on.
Internationally there are a few sane voices. If you live in the USA you have one thing going for you that other countries don’t. In a global war, the US will be the favorite and that will keep the dollar alive. We aren’t there yet though. We’re still at the stage of wealth redistribution.
The answer is have a small Coffee-table business in addition to your daily job. Set aside some gold, platinum and silver coins for a bunch of rainy days. Observe what happens to FDIC limits on insuring your deposits at banks at the end of this year. Read a newspaper like The Financial Times that has more of a global perspective. The USA makes up only 5% of the worlds population and we aren’t half as important as we wish we were.
It’s frustrating to look and see worst case scenario’s becoming more possible and plausible. But again the ball game isn’t over and a good case of sanity and intelligence could break out nationally and globally.
Q…What do you think of Web 2.0 Social Marketing? Does it work? I want to take your Internet Marketing Course but I think it is very expensive.
Answer: “Social Marketing” as opposed to “antisocial marketing” is best thought of as a channels on a television or places to go hang out. There’s a bunch more of them now than there was 10 years ago.
Channels don’t sell anything. ABC, the restaurant on the corner, your favorite radio station, Facebook, Twitter. Places to hang out or watch or make a place for you. If you go into a restaurant and start handing out brochures and giving sales pitches, the walk to the unemployment line and to the door…is short. Social should imply….social. Don’t get to know people with the intent of high pressuring them to buy something from you. Build a network of people to hang out with. People will do business with people they know and trust or people who are on their radar.
The Internet Marketing Course has a high price tag on it because the value received is dozens of times greater than the price tag.
Q…I’ve been watching all your Body Language DVD’s and really enjoying and learning. I notice that a lot of people when they are making a point shake their head like they are negating what they’re saying. Like Hillary Clinton for example. It seems counter to the points people are making. Can you explain that a little?
Answer: I noticed Hillary doing less of this in her campaigning. Sometimes people just have bad habits. Other times the habits are there AND they mean something. When people shake their head “no” and say “yes” SOMETHING odd is happening and when you are looking at body language you are looking for those incongruities. They aren’t the answer, they are evidence in support of a future answer after evidence is collected and analyzed.
Q… Just got through reading your article how to overcome resistance to change. You really got me thinking. Our #1 job is to stay safe, unfortunately staying safe leads us to a town called nowhere. I have thought about several things I would like to do and have done nothing. I read books, listen to cd’s and tapes but remain stuck in staying safe. This brings me to my question, I have been thinking about trying Psych K, to change limiting beliefs. Do you know anything about this method?
Answer: I only read the website. What is promoted is in error. The subconscious doesn’t have “beliefs.” In fact it’s arguable there is no subconscious at all, only a nonconcious and an unconscious that represents currently unaware thoughts and feelings.
Answer: Not really something I promote online to any degree. It’s a pretty unusual concept (not the phrase itself, but HOW it works compared to every other guru’s mastermind type group). Here’s the link: Apply for Kevin Hogan’s Inner Circle.
Q… I run a small retail business (t/o 850k) in the NE of England. We’re finding it tough at present. The insurance company of two of our major suppliers have pulled the plug on us though we haven’t paid late. They say they’ve had big losses globally. To make matters worse our landlord has just proposed a rent increase of 34%, which, will also see the rates increase. The business can’t sustain a cost increase of this size. Despite all this I’m positive that I have a chance to try something new. My question is are you aware of some sort of career consultant or some resource that can assist in assessing my skills and find what I’m really suited towards? Exciting times!!
Answer: Start a Coffee-table business doing something you would enjoy and that will also be profitable. Don’t go stick a bunch of money in some business venture like retail or even real estate. Just something small that you can devote attention to daily and make happen.
Your situation in retail sounds very fragile, and, it’s worth looking at other options. Instead of an assessment tool. What do you like to do? What are you good at? What would be profitable. Three lists of 50 things each. Be most interested in those things that overlap.
Q…I’m from a non-English speaking country and I’m learning English. I have a problem with everyday English. Can you help me? In English speaking countries, in which situation do people say “How kind, you shouldn’t have bothered.” And how can we reply to this? Please help me.
Answer: This is an Americanism that is usually not meant to insult…but…it usually insults the receiver. The idea is the person sees you have spent a lot of time or money on something for them and they are trying to “show appreciation.” The correct response is “THANK YOU, this is very special” or “Thank you. This is very cool. It means a lot to me that you did this.”
Most people don’t think before they open their mouth and utter words so, “Thanks you shouldn’t have (American) or “thanks you shouldn’t have bothered” (English/UK) are both rather insulting but typically the person doesn’t mean it as an insult.
Well we could tell them they are idiots but that would be just my kind of a response. Instead, pretend they didn’t say the thoughtless statement. And simply return this: “You mean a lot to me and I wanted you to have this.”
Q… I know that studies show that people develop a more favorable feeling about a person the more often they see his or her face in a photo. If there are studies, what do they show about how more or less strong this phenomenon is when people see and hear a person frequently on video? I’m guessing that the effect is even stronger than for photos, but that’s only a guess. Thanks, Kev.
Answer: Video is a different medium. Here is a *guess.* Video with the SOUND TURNED DOWN would probably elicit an equally favorable or perhaps more favorable feeling. That said, video captures more than a moment in time. It captures many feelings in a very short period of time. Not just a snap shot with a smile and an almost assured positive warm feeling. I wouldn’t draw too many conclusions here without research.
Q… I’d like to add to my question about videos. What do you think would be things a person could do on videos that would especially impact viewers positively? I’m wondering about a number of short videos. I’m guessing lots of smiles, friendly tones, what kinds of facial expressions? The number of videos on the web is growing dramatically…how to best take advantage of it to “build relationships” and let people see you in the best possible light?
Answer: These are excellent questions to research. Anything I would guess would only be a guess. It’s hard to look at a picture of a person with a genial smile and get a negative feeling. The same is not necessarily true for video. We see so much more of reality in video.
Best answer: The video would probably need to show the individual being helpful in an unquestionable and unambiguous fashion, to where everyone, even a dreaded mortal enemy would see the gestures on video as good, kind and worthy of admiration.
Q…What is the best strategy for persuading intelligent professionals? I work with lawyers and accountants who believe in logical and rational arguments. I worry they will see through covert persuasion techniques I’ve learned from your Covert Persuasion and psychological devices in Science of Influence.
I’d like to start freelancing in a new area where I don’t have a lot of experience. Any suggestions on how to market something you’re just learning how to do?
Answer: Covert simply means covered or subtle. Everyone, and I mean everyone, uses persuasion strategies in every conversation they have. They either use them well or poorly. I WANT people to be effective when they are communicating with me. Dealing with bumblers is time consuming. If someone can put me into an environment where there is a great product and I should buy it, then let’s get on with it. Similarly if I decide it’s a bad choice, I have decided in the other person’s home ball park. That’s just as satisfying for me, the buyer.
Rarely do I think of persuading someone as “getting away with something” or some weird nefarious sense of taking advantage of someone. That’s simply a waste of life and destructive to long-term relationships.
So if someone says, “hey are you seating me here because you read Kevin Hogan’s book on persuasion,” the response is, “If I were working for you… wouldn’t that be what you’d want me to do?!”
If you feel getting the kid off drugs with a crisp, clean, well structured context is something he might see through then you will get a negative response. So be more effective at the process.
People in general enjoy being persuaded. They love to buy stuff, have fun, get into relationships and get past making the decisions. Make it easy as possible for people. That’s what Covert Persuasion is all about.
Q…I see you also read Think and Grow Rich. I’m curious to know about when you first started reading the book. You know before you specialized in persuasion and everything else. Did you follow the “6 Ways to Turn Desires into Gold”? If so, did it build the intense desire in you to achieve your dream? I’m curious to know because a lot of people I know that came from nothing credit this book. Now just like you they are very successful. I understand you came from nothing and despite all odds you’ve managed achieved a lot.
Answer: I did use the “formula” early in my career a lot. Since it’s been written some 80 years ago, we have new scientific data that improves upon the six steps as you might catch as you read www.kevinhogan.com articles. That said, it is simple. It’s a good place to start but don’t make a religion out of “The six” because there are a LOT of nuances and ADDITIONS that need to be made to improve the probability of success.