with Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
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THIS WEEK’S QUESTION(S):
This is why focus groups for businesses are a joke and asking your kids if they’d be happier in a different school district is a stupid question. (Or, “How would you feel if you lived in THAT house?” Or, “How would you feel if you were married to HIM instead of him?”)
32% of ALL voters are DEFINITELY voting for Clinton in the Nov. 2008 election…. and Rudy Guliani has the best future on the other side as he has 22% of the total popular vote in the election. John McCain only has 11% of the DEFINITE vote… and 48% DEFINITELY say they won’t vote for him.
Answer: The Laws of Persuasion, the research you and I talk about in Coffeeand the implementation of information you get here is profoundly life changing. When people miss even a week, I wonder what they are thinking.
Law of Consistency. Sports are one of the best places to get statistical information that allows us to evaluate how good a player is. We can factor OUT stuff like the crummy team he plays for, the stupid coach, the performance of the rest of the team, whether it’s night or day, the age of the player….everything. We can calculate almost exactly how valuable that player really is in real life.
Each year, there is a draft of players from the colleges. Those players who end up to be of exactly the same value obviously were drafted in different positions. Maybe one was drafted 8th and another 12th. They both ended up with the exact same value…..but 5 years later ….the one drafted 8th gets about two hours more playing time per year and is traded much less often than the player who was drafted 12th….the players have the exact same value but the coaches don’t see it that way.
They have what we call a “bias.” They look at things like TOTAL points scored (which doesn’t mean a heck of a lot, because it’s often a function of total minutes on the court!) What coaches are unconsciously doing is playing their players and trading their players not based upon the exact data of how valuable they are but the order they were drafted!
That’s great if you had a kick-butt first day of work, but if you had a bad day, a cold, your child was sick, you were late….well…. you can’t know how much is held against you because of a random day’s events!
Question: What do you think about MLM’s? Your article last week indicated that they are not the place to be for long term security. Why? If you have thousands of people in your downline, could you be more secure? Where else can you make $100,000 per year Kevin?!
Answer: First, there is nothing wrong with being in an MLM. I think it’s a great thing for the right people. If you are selling the best products on the planet, then it’s honorable and the right thing to do. If that MLM causes you to rely on your own personal sales more than the sales of your down line, thus forcing higher quality products, you might be in a winning organization. There are a couple of things we all need no matter the economy. Life insurance and legal help. So, Primerica and Prepaid Legal seem reasonable places to start if you want to be part of an MLM. I’ve met people in these MLM’s who consistently earn a nice income.
The research bears out that the vast majority of people in an MLM will earn less than $30,000 annually. I believe the last figure I saw was about 1/1500. I need to double check that. It might not have been that good.
But if you want to get into business for the purpose of earning a $100,000 annually and you choose an MLM as your vehicle, that is statistically a poor choice. You are 100 times more likely to earn that income in your own home business that you OWN.
The math takes about two hours to do without a computer but it’s pretty easy to figure out that you need to sell about $500,000 of product or service to actually get paid $100,000 in an MLM. And that is a LOT of work for that income.
Finally, you ask where else can someone make $100,000 per year without a college education….and I can only tell you that there are a lot of choices that you have in the small business world and most of them can easily produce $100,000 annually.
If I pay an affiliate $1,000 monthly for selling my products, I can only assume she is selling 10 other people’s products as well. That’s $100,000 annually and there is no risk, no overhead, no big brainpower required, no stock, no paperwork of significance, no meetings to go to….
Question: I seem to warrant a lot of negative body language from other people. While I’m speaking I tend to get nose rubs during or right after I speak. Sometimes the eye rub and also I get the mouth guard. For some reason I get all these deceit gestures even when I know I’m telling the truth. It happens too when I get a certain tone of voice. Any advice?
Answer: You do have a problem. A big problem. You say, “even when I know I’m telling the truth.” Now THAT is an interesting thing to say. It definitely implies that there are times you don’t know if you are telling the truth and it implies there are times when you are knowingly lying. WOW.
And, you indicate you are getting deceit gestures from others. That’s really interesting because that means that either people like you and they are covering that up or they don’t like you and are covering that up….or you aren’t interpreting the cues of other people correctly.
My best guess is that the gestures you are seeing in others is being filtered by the knowledge that you are lying and therefore are looking for these specific gestures in OTHERS…. which you have already noted ARE deceit gestures, etc. But the fact is that they aren’t. They COULD be in SOME situations, but not nearly as often as you think.
Question: I was just wondering what it means if anything when someone you are with begins to hum? Such as when someone’s about to enter a room where you’re at and they hum right before they enter. Should other people’s body language be taken personally? If so, when?
Answer: I whistle before I enter rooms so I don’t startle people that work here. (Being sadistic would prove counterproductive.) It means, “I’m coming and I want you to know it because I respect you and what you to feel okeedokee.”
Other people hum because of anxiety or because they are happy. Or because a song is stuck in their head…or any of a dozen reasons. I take a lot of the body language I see in others personally and I also know that sometimes people’s contacts are screwed up or that they have to go to the bathroom.
Question: I just listened to Science of Influence VI CD 61 and need a little clarification between Option Attachment and something I read earlier about people’s tendency to believe in a choice once they’ve made it.
Example: woman chooses man A, starts to regret it and thinks maybe she should have chosen man B. But in your Science of Influence book (I think) you mentioned a situation where a man bets on team C over team D and immediately begins to believe team C is better and has a higher chance of winning.
Can you explain the distinction between these regret/certainty reactions?
Answer: Betting on a team is not a forced choice. There are lots of games on the board. You see your favorite team and are only looking for reasons to bet on them even though you are afraid. You place your bet then do an internal search for supporting and confirming information (“yes of course I’m right, better QB, better defense, they’re at home, duh.”)
But in the case of choosing between TWO STRONGLY HELD THINGS, the brain sits on the eliminated option for an unspecified amount of time. It could be YEARS or decades, because you NEVER know if you made “the right” decision and you won’t find out at 4:15 when the game is over.
Question: Can I please ask you a quick question about Coffee, because it would help me a lot, and you are great. I remember you published a Coffee before about Willpower, and How to build it. I can’t find it on your website, and I wanted to review it.
Answer: When an article is pulled from the website it’s because it will be used in (generally) a book and it won’t be accessible. BUT, if you do a google search you WILL find it if it’s only a day or two after we pulled it, because google will have it cached.
Question: About Willpower: What I remember (I think) is that we can build Will Power just like a muscle. What I devised is a plan to build Willpower. What do you think? I am thinking if I keep a cookie (every day a different snack) on my desk, and resist it (I can do it) that I will build incredible Willpower. Will this work or will it just deplete my Willpower for the day? Doing this a few times a week, will I build incredible Willpower muscle? What do you think? Any insight, or article on the subject will help me great. Can you help? I thank you very much for your help and think You are one of the greatest, and most altruistic people alive.
Answer: Your scenario for building will power is excellent. Will Power doesn’t necessarily get “depleted.” (It can but it doesn’t have to!) Your assessment of me, is surely clouded. (And I thank you for ignoring my many defects!)
Question: It seems nowadays that you appear to be the one who seems to have the right answers and making the right noises in the world of success. So, I’m starting on my path, have my plan written down (ala the law of attraction) and then walk nose first into a brick wall. I’ve got it all down, the plan, visualisation, positive thinking, dates (ouch there’s that brick wall again). So why is it then when I start putting dates down that my blood starts to curdle? What am I doing wrong?
Answer: You shouldn’t put dates down. There is no need for that. You can if you like, but there is no evidence that shows it is necessary for achieving outcomes. You should know that what most people today call “The Law of Attraction” is a VERY flawed model for achievement. You might want to check out this article on “The Attraction Principle” I wrote in 2002. As you’ve since discovered, the “Law of Attraction”…isn’t a “law,” nor is it correlated to achievement in anyway, except perhaps negatively.