with Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
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A. Realizing that audio subliminals don’t work, that leaves the question to the context of video subliminals which can work if they are created correctly. (Rare outside of the University Lab)
Next contextual question is, am I aware I’m watching a subliminal or not. If I’m unaware, the answer is probably no. If I’m aware, (Say using our Subliminal Achievement program) my best guess is “no” but the answer is I don’t know because it’s never been tested.
A. You mean like seducing someone to be evil? No, that is not ethical. You mean seducing (persuading) another single adult to dance or go out with you or “better?” It’s called evolution. I can’t think of a scenario that would be unethical.
A book? It’s possible. It’s not on the top projects for the year.
A. Every person has a value to a company. Salespeople are easy to compensate. You agree to a percentage and you pay them that. (This is why salespeople don’t get “laid off.” Safest profession…) Some people aren’t worth minimum wage to a company. About a million years ago I was an Assistant Manager at a restaurant. A handful of employees did more work than all the other employees on a shift. One gal I remember did the work of four or five people but we could only pay her a couple percentage points higher than other employees.
The logic missed me. About 1/4 of the employees weren’t worth the minimum wage they were getting paid. But we couldn’t pay them less, so, we had to pay the best employees much less than they deserved.
No, there should be no minimum wage. It makes it too easy to be ineffective.
As far as executive pay, it’s the same thing. You have some executives whose brilliance and vision changes a company. Someone like Lee Iacocca. Now, I’m not talking about the owner. An owner should get paid whatever he wants to pay himself. It’s his baby. But non-owner executives should be paid what they are worth and shareholders need to hold executives responsible. There’s a lot of exec’s out there getting paid $10 million per year that aren’t worth 1/20 of that. But you can’t put limits on exec pay. If you do, those few gems will be gone.
Layoffs: In general, anyone who isn’t producing at least 3 times what their salary is should be fired. In some productive companies, employees often are worth 5-7 times their salary.
Q. I’m an attractive young woman. I work two jobs plus go to college part-time. I’m happy being single right now. Other women at my full-time job assume I’m gay. When I say things they take it the wrong way and think I’m saying something gay. What exactly am I doing to make them think such a thing. I must be doing something wrong. Do you have any suggestions?
A. A. How do we “know” that your colleagues think you are gay? And frankly, why is it important? What does it say about your colleagues if they actually spend time thinking/talking about junk like this? (Start your own business. Who needs this kind of politics?)
A. A. You don’t have a job if there isn’t consumerism. Americans want to get paid a lot of money and then get outraged when they have to pay high prices. (A lot of Americans didn’t get math in their education.)
The US consumes about 25% of the worlds stuff. If we stop that, the world would pretty much fall apart. If consumers stop spending, prices go down, millions (if not just about everyone) will “lose” their “jobs” and then you have a disaster. People who try and stop consumerism are sabotaging the future generations (which are a mess to start with).
A. We should have been out about 90 days after breaking the door down. Everything since then has been a mess.
That said, history (Vietnam/Cambodia, etc.) tells us if we leave, hundreds of thousands of innocents will be killed in the power vacuum that will occur. The suicide bombings will likely stop but Civil War will likely kick in and the mess gets bigger.
If you stay “in,” then you have Americans losing their lives and our country literally going broke trying to fight an endless run or extremists.
What will likely happen is that in the elections, the candidate who promises to get us out will win, the candidate (being a first termer) will likely slowly extract our troops, a Civil War will begin and it will go on for at least a decade. Like Vietnam and similar situations in history, refugee problems will become a United Nations issue and the U.S. will be asked to pay for it while nearby nations absorb the refugees which could number as high as a million or two people.
Should we pull out? I’d like to see what some good computer models reveal about this. I factually don’t know.
But from an economic standpoint, which is very predictable, yes, we must pull out. Each and every American is spending $1000 per year on a credit card to stay in Iraq. Very few people can afford that, and, it will have to be paid back.
A. The facts are that as of this moment there is a lot of wealth in the U.S. Tangible wealth. The problem is that it’s largely in leveraged investments like homes and the stock markets. Houses are about 2-3 times what they are truly going to be worth over the next 20 years and the stock market is about double it’s true value.
If you look at the “wealth” of America compared to it’s true “value,” we are already broke, we just don’t know it yet.
As is always the case, the pendulum goes up and down. (Back and forth?) The upswing is about as “up” as “up” can get. The downswing will remind historians of 1929. The good news is that you can prepare.
Q. Using the word “spend” vs. “invest.” I don’t want “I love spending time with you” or “I want to spend more time with you” to carry any negative connotation, but saying “I love investing time with you” sounds odd. Spend, I think has a slightly negative connotation. Please, Please advise me on how else we can phrase these above phrases.
A. Because people don’t like “spending” because it is seen as excessive, you actually have a nice paradox when you say those words to someone else. “I love spending time with you,” is a very nice thing to say. A different way? “Let’s be together more often.” “The time we are together is the most important part of my life.”
Q. I have purchased your CD set Lifestorms and I don’t know if it is because many of the obstacles are kind of linked ie Abandonment and mistrust; but I appear to have 12 out of 12 obstacles to overcome. I seem to have good days and then I have bad days, when I just generally feel beat down. I want to change, and I want to break the pattern of self sabotage, yet there are times when I start to feel real bad about myself and I feel no self worth. How do I overcome this problem?
A. Changing feelings is no easy thing to do. You’ll have to change your behaviors first. Do those things necessary to overcome the 12 life schemas. (The “antidotes” are in the program.) Work on ONE each month. And find a good therapist. (Dead serious.)
A. The $64,000 questions. First, be skeptical because if you aren’t, you’ll sabotage yourself. Second, tell the person/people concerned where you’re coming from. If they care, they will try and put you at ease. If they don’t, leave. Overcoming trust issues with the person who betrayed you? That’s a “proof of time,” thing. You’ll need to see consistent behaviors for some time before you are comfortable there.
Q. He said “When asking a girl for her number, always ask for her Home Phone number”. His reasoning, which in my opinion sounds psychologically sound, is that it is more personal (than a cell phone number), and if you can get her to give her Home phone number it will subtly suggest to her, that she trusts you, and builds greater interest. How do you deal with this?
A. He’s an idiot. I can see it now….There you are at Tao in The Venetian. The music is playing, you dance, have a drink, sit down and ask for the home phone number. She excuses herself with her girlfriend to go to the bathroom and you never see her again….Ask for the HOME phone number and you set off every red blinking light and siren in her brain. Just get a number. (And frankly, the “sale” is going to be made tonight. The “Call Back for Approval” is likely to fail….)
A. Ten years ago? Yes. Today? Libertarian. Republican 2007 bears no resemblance to Republican 1997. Now the leadership spends more money than a shopaholic, they want in and are in your computer, want access to your google searches, can check your bank transactions, they want a war czar!…man, that ain’t Republican, that’s Stalin. I’m hoping to wake up from this bad dream…in about 18 months.
Q. I have recently read Psychology of Persuasion and discovered some fascinating things. Page 241 – attitudes. You clearly illustrate a scenario and how logical thinking will not work with attitudes. You also mention that attitudes are based on groups of values and beliefs (beliefs themselves hang on values). You also say that beliefs generally should not altered as it is unethical, but attitudes need to be dealt with. Therefore, how does one alter attitudes? The example makes it clear what won’t work, not what will work. Does this mean one has to change somebody’s VALUES? This seems as unsatisfactory as changing beliefs! I presume I have missed something.
A. I was wrong about beliefs. It’s not unethical. It’s something that great care should be taken in doing. Best way to change attitudes is to get people to do behaviors consistent with the attitude. Working on values is challenging because they tend to be very emotionally-driven and irrationally installed. And please note. Logical thinking CAN change attitudes, it’s simply NOT the most effective strategy as logic tends to work best with logical people which are in the minority.
Q. I am considering going to see Dr. S. for Tinnitus treatment, where they tout a Neuromonics treatment plan with use of a Neuromonics processor. It is s (roughly) 6 month treatment that is proclaimed to have a 90% success rate. According to the California scale in your book, I have moderate Tinnitus. What do you think?
A. I’ve seen no such data. I’ve seen nothing like that. I hate the phrase, “success rate.” What the hell does that mean? It means nothing. Until you see the hard data compared to control groups the answer might need to be, “save your money.” You can use an iPod. Cheap.
Q. After reading practically all of your amazing material, I used my new understanding to conjure up a new theory, regarding persuasion. Please offer me your insight on it, because, it would help me a lot, and because you are uniquely qualified to answer this question. I think it applies your principles amazingly, and you might even learn something.
The only way I can think of applying this method is through compliments. For example: Say someone does something very smart, we could compliment them and say “You are very Smart”, or we can give them a compliment that they can visualize, something like “I think you struck gold with your idea”. Since the second compliment, can be visualized, where as the first “You are very smart” can’t, I think the second one would be more memorable, and more powerful. Also more rare, and therefore more memorable. On the other hand it is a little longer, and maybe less direct. Still I think the 2nd compliment would be more memorable and more potent, what do you think? Can you give me a quick example, because it will help me super much? Likewise I have trouble thinking of a metaphor to say “You look beautiful” or “You have an amazing smile”. Or how can we use a metaphor to say “You are hilarious”? Please, Please, Please, give me an example. Because metaphors help us visualize everything (even compliments), should we always use them? Are they much, much more powerful than “You are very very smart?” Kevin, please, please, please help me, ok?
A. Tell a woman that she is “smart” and you just gave her something few people will give her. She’ll FEEL that for a long time. I love your “gold” metaphor. With men, the metaphor is probably more effective. With women, keep it simple. Women have already THOUGHT about WHAT they want to HEAR. By pulling out a box of unknown metaphors you take some risks that are needless. I’ll write an article about this someday as this really is a great set of questions and I hate to cut it to byte sized answers here.
Now, that said, “an amazing smile” is worth it’s weight in gold in contrast to “you look beautiful.”
“Hilarious”….sucks. “Dang you make me smile,” is something that women want to hear because men don’t smile much.